Guy at party who’s been to “all those cool places” still a douchebag

The Associated Press is reporting early this afternoon that Chris Rill, the guy with the blazer and designer t-shirt over in the corner talking to the girl in knee high socks is still a douche bag.

According to eye witness reports, the fact that Mr. Rill has “been on safari in Namibia and seen an African up close” had little effect on getting him closer to sleeping with the young woman. Additionally, his knowledge of the fact “in Russia, they eat borscht” was completely disinteresting to all parties involved.

In other party news, someone seems to have eaten all of the pigs in blankets and finished off the Grey Goose labeled “Grant’s vodka only, do not drink”

Asked about the vodka incident, Mr Rill was like “Whatever man, all vodka tastes the same after you run it through a Brita filter twelve times anyway. I saw it on Mythbusters.”

No Mr. Rill. It does not all taste the same. Stop hitting on my girlfriend.