Obnoxious passengers fly on Southwest; nobody surprised

Earlier last week, seventeen women wearing leopard print thongs, clear high-heels and super tight pushup bras flew from Dallas Love field to Detroit for a stripper’s convention. Recalling the difficulty from prior experiences on Southwest Airlines, flight attendants and other staff were tight lipped and let them board the plane in peace.

The twelve members of the Church of Latter Day Saints onboard, however, were not amused. Witnesses report that after an LDS member said something “lewd” to a stripper, the young woman ripped the name tag from the gentleman, crushing it on the floor with the heel of her shoe as LED lights sparkled through the aisle.

A subsequent scuffle between the two groups erupted, with one half screaming obscenities, doing body shots and throwing sex paraphernalia while the strippers ganged up on several LDS members, pinned them to the floor and rubbed their bare asses on churchgoer’s faces.

Meanwhile the crew resigned themselves to the galley in disgust and gossiped about whether the captain or the copilot was hotter.

Asked about the affair, random peg-legged passenger Mike Barish commented:

“There was a scuffle, fighting and yelling on the flight? I didn’t notice. I guess I thought that it was normal.” He then stifled a yawn, shotgunned a Miller High Life and resumed breathing through his mouth.