Ask English travelers what they miss most about home, and before they mention mom or dad or friends or their bed, they’ll probably say a classic English breakfast. Over at the Times Online, Giles Coren explains how– delicious though it may be– the 3,000 calorie monster breakfast currently offered by one restaurant chain is slowly killing those audacious enough to consume it.
The English breakfast is often seen as England’s national dish, and it’s a major point of pride among most of the English I’ve spoken with. As Coren puts it: “The French have their croissant and coffee, the Greeks their sheep cheese and olives, but our morning plateful is honest and shiny and pink. Just like we are.”
So how do you squeeze 3,000 calories into a breakfast? Easy. Load the plate with meat, eggs, baked beans, bread, and lots of grease. Keep going. No, still not enough. There you go.
From the article: “The current £7.25 “Olympic” breakfast at Little Chef comprises: ‘two rashers of crisp backbacon, British outdoor-reared pork sausage, two griddled eggs, whole-cup mushrooms, crispy sauté potatoes, fresh griddled tomato, Heinz baked beans and toasted or fried extra-thick bloomer bread.'”
So you eat that for breakfast Monday morning and you’re hungry again, when, Thursday night?
Once again, life imitates The Onion.