Lippi Selk’Bag is wearable sleeping bag

As the writer of SkyMall Monday, I encounter plenty of odd products. But even I’m baffled by the idiocy of this little discovery. The Lippi Selk’Bag is essentially a wearable sleeping bag. Imagine that a sleeping bag had sex with your childhood snowsuit and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. When you’re done cleansing yourself of that awkward situation, we’ll proceed.

According to the site’s FAQ page, the bag gets its name from the nomadic Selk’nam people of Patagonian Chile. There are three Selk’Bag styles with creative names such as Selk’Bag One, Selk’Bag Two and Selk’Bag Three. As the numbers go up, the warmth of the sleeping bag/suit increases. The Selk-Bag Three has a “comfort temperature” of 49 degrees Fahrenheit. Which is, you know, not really that cold.

So, the bags can’t handle extreme temperatures. But surely they’re waterproof. Wrong. Referring again to that helpful FAQ page, “Selk’Bag is not a waterproof sleeping bag as this would compromise its breathability.” OK, I guess I can deal with it not being waterproof so long as it’s convenient. Well, does your definition of convenience include easily being able to go to the bathroom? Oh. Then this thing is not convenient. “When visiting the toilet the Selk’Bag should be unzipped and pulled down.” Uhoh. That’s going to be a problem considering that it’s not waterproof.

I haven’t the foggiest idea who this product would appeal to. It looks cumbersome and awkward. I’m going to stick to my favorite sleeping bag and pretend that this ugly episode never happened.