SkyMall Monday: Portable Desk

Boy, is this week’s SkyMall Monday going to change your lives.

How many times has this happened to you? You’re running at a personal record pace in your local 5K fun run when your boss calls you asking for the latest figures on the Johnson account. Of course, you have your laptop with you while you run, but we all remember what happened the last time you tried to jog and type. What a disaster. Well, with the Portable Desk, all of your problems have been solved.*

Finally, you can easily type documents, email with friends and surf the internet for fetish porn all while on-the-go. Why not grab your dog or your best gal and take a stroll while you stare downwards at a 45-degree angle and fail to interact with those around you? Outside and don’t believe that it’s raining? Well, now you can keep walking while you check the radar to see if the wetness falling from the sky is real.

But don’t take my word for it. Just take a look at the good ol’ product description:

When you have work to do, having no place to sit is no longer a problem. Now you can use your laptop standing or even walking with this portable desk.

Sure, you could find a chair somewhere or sit on the floor or just, you know, not use your computer for 10 minutes and develop some interpersonal skills. But what’s the fun in that? You’re a busy, successful individual with things to do and World of Warcraft spells to cast.

Would I recommend the portable desk? I’m using it right now. At a urinal. I think that says it all.

* None of your problems are anywhere close to being solved.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Sharks Get Violent at Dubai Mall Aquarium

Come shop in the mall recently built in the shadow of the Dubai Burj, the world’s tallest building. You will enjoy over 1,200 of the world’s finest shops and a huge, glittery gold market…and see a 10-million liter aquarium in which divers and small fish are ravaged by gigantic sharks.

The aggressive sharks are part of a 33,000 specimen tank at the 12-million-square-foot Dubai Burj Mall. The tank includes an acrylic tunnel that people can walk through and gaze up at the aquatic life. The mall’s grand opening was marred when the large sand sharks attacked and killed nearly 40 smaller sharks. I doubt that the mall’s goal was to remind people of the casual brutality of nature before they began browsing through the world’s largest gold market. I’m sure the goal was spectacle, but naturally aggressive sand sharks do not mix well with other sharks in a closed environment. Divers performing maintenance on the interior of the tank have also been attacked, though no fatalities have been reported.

Big in Japan: Obama the city loves Obama the President-elect

Americans abroad haven’t had an easy time these past eight years, though all of that is about to change…

America might be divided between Obama and McCain supporters, though most of our foreign allies are turning green (or blue?) with envy. Indeed, Obama’s historic election might just be the first step in repairing America’s tarnished image abroad, both amongst our allies and perhaps even our enemies.

One of the most peculiar election celebrations last week took place in the city of Obama (???, literally Little Beach), a sleepy little town in the middle of the Japanese countryside. In honor of the US President-elect, local women performed the hula dance, a tribute to Obama’s early years as a child in Hawaii.

Dubbed ‘The Obama Girls,’ the hula troop told reporters that they now have plans to travel to Washington for the inauguration in January, and are hoping that they will have the opportunity to perform in front of Obama himself.

Hilarious…sometimes you really can’t help but love the Japanese (^_^)

When the presidential results were made official, a huge media circus descended on the town of Obama to cover what was arguably Japan’s craziest election party.

While the Obama Girls were certainly eye-candy, the night’s other highlight was the performance of a local pop group, who recorded the soon-to-be smash hit, ‘La La La La La Obama!’ The song also had some choice lines, such as this lyrical bit of brilliance: ‘Obama is beautiful man!’

Interestingly enough, it’s not just the town’s namesake that has local Japanese supporting President-elect Obama. In fact, they’re hoping that their increasing interest in American politics will help in their case against North Korea.

During the 1970s and 80s, North Korean agents kidnapped a number of Japanese citizens, including some from the city of Obama. One of them is still being held prisoner, and Obama’s patriotic citizens are hoping that President Obama can succeed where President Bush failed.

Of course, it’s worth pointing out that not everyone in the Land of the Rising Sun is celebrating an Obama victory. On the contrary, a good number of Japanese politicians in Tokyo are sounding the death knell on their attempts at luring the Olympic games to Japan in 2016.

Currently, Tokyo, Chicago, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro are the four cities in the running to host the 2016 Games. However, Japanese Olympic officials fear that the election of Obama as president could make his home city of Chicago the favorite.

According to Japanese Olympic Committee President Tsunekazu Takeda: “I wonder how the International Olympic Committee (IOC) members will react when Mr. Obama appears in a presentation for Chicago. Obama is popular and good at speeches, so things could get tough for Japan.”

The IOC will name the 2016 host at its general assembly in October next year, which means that quite a number of Japanese politicians are planning to watch Obama’s first 100 days with intense interest.

Regardless of what happens to Japan’s Olympic aspirations, at least the Obama Girls will get their well-deserved share of the international spotlight!

A review of ‘Into the Wild’

I just watched Into the Wild this weekend, somewhat of an unfortunate choice only in the sense that it’s been snowing here in Pittsburgh, and well, the movie is half set in Alaska. But all was not lost, because there were also scenes from South Dakota, California, the Grand Canyon, and even a stretch in Mexico.

And that diversity and breadth of storytelling was a big part of why I thoroughly enjoyed the film.

This movie will inspire the traveler in you to follow Thoreau (one of Chris McCandless’s favorite authors) abandon the rat race for a piece of your own wilderness and adventure. Chris, by the way, is the real-life young Emory grad who the movie is based upon; he donates his life savings of $24,000 to Oxfam and becomes a full-time tramp. He eventually finds his way to Alaska, his dream, where he sets into the pure wilderness with nothing more than a gun and some reading material.

I had just a few qualms about the movie. First, the editing could be a bit better (which is quite a controversial stance, mind you, considering it was nominated for an Oscar for this). I just feel it could have been told in 2 hours instead of 2.5. This leads into my next quip, that some of the scenes were quite cliche, for instance the one of him surrounded by Alaskan mountains, with his hands above him, celebrating his freedom.

But it’s worth a watch. I’m looking forward to Catherine‘s take, since she’s from that neck of the woods.

Galley Gossip: Why business class is the most junior position on the airplane (Plus a chance to win the book The Go-Giver)

I like working in business class. What I like even more are the other flight attendants who enjoy working in business. Call me crazy, but I even like business class passengers. I do!

What I find interesting about business class passengers is that the majority of them find it hard to believe that the cabin they prefer to sit in is the cabin that goes the most junior when it comes to company seniority at my airline. Which tells you a little something about business class, or shall I say the passenger who sits in business class, as well as the business class flight attendant.

Sure there are only thirty passengers seated in business class on the 767 (three class aircraft), but haven’t you noticed just how much harder the flight attendants in that cabin work compared to the flight attendants in coach and first class during the five hour flight from New York to whatever west coast city you’re flying to? Take a look next time. It’s unbelievable. Just ask those poor passengers who got stuck sitting next to the business class galley where we park our drink carts and salad carts and meal carts and dessert carts. The service is long and elaborate and the passengers can be just a tad bit difficult at times, making that never ending service take even longer than it should. There’s nothing like seeing your fellow crew members relaxing on their jump seats when you’re just pulling up the cart to the front of the cabin to begin the salad service.

After thirteen years of flying, not only do I get stuck working the most junior cabin, I hold the most junior position in the junior cabin on the 767. Okay now face the cockpit and look at the aisle on the left hand side of the airplane, and that’s where you’ll find me. Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed that the flight attendant working on the left hand side (ME!) is much slower than the one on the right?

Here’s why…

1. Boarding. What flight attendant doesn’t appreciate a smooth boarding? Remember, boarding is the most hectic time of the flight for a flight attendant, especially a business class flight attendant who has to hang up all those black and blue coats in that teeny tiny closet. When working on an aircraft with two aisles, passengers tend to use the first aisle they come to when trying to get to their seat. Unless there’s a good “greeter” standing at the aircraft door directing the passengers to correct side of the airplane, all those passengers coming down that same aisle make it difficult for the flight attendant working on the left side to hang those coats the business class passengers are impatiently holding up. Forget about re-seating passengers, delivering pre-departure drinks, helping with luggage, and answering questions about connecting flights until everyone is seated and the aircraft is about to back away from the gate. And no, Sir, I can not swim upstream to hang that coat you are still shaking at me. Sorry, you’re just going to sit down and wait!

2. Jumpseat – The lucky flight attendant working on the left hand side of business class gets to sit smack dab in the middle of the aisle surrounded by passengers, passengers who are not usually very happy to be there, while strapped into an uncomfortable foldout jumpseat on takeoff. Trust me when I tell you that this is not where you want to be for any length of time, especially if there is turbulence in the forecast and the Captain has asked the flight attendants to stay seated a little while longer until we find that smooth and comfortable cruising altitude. Because when turbulance happens, all eyes are on me, and those bugged out eyes are analyzing my every move, which makes me a little nervous, which is why I just end up staring at the floor. That’s how I know that carpet is filthy, so if I were you I’d put those shoes back on!

3. Trash compartment. Flight attendants pick up a lot of trash onboard the aircraft. When there’s a lot of trash, you need a place to stow the trash, and that place in business class happens to be on the right side of the galley. This means the flight attendant working on the left side often times gets stuck holding the trash, trying to figure out how, exactly, to get across to the other side of the galley when there are two flight attendants busy working in the confined space. Have you seen how small that galley is? And yes, that is the exact reason why you’re still waiting on your drink, because I’m still holding your trash.

4. Oven. The oven is located on the left hand side of the galley, so the flight attendant working that side is blocked by a hot oven door that swings open and shut constantly throughout the flight. That is another reason why the flight attendant is still standing in the aisle with a silver tray piled high with dirty glasses, patiently waiting to get into the busy galley where everything is located, as the flight attendant on the other side runs up and down the aisle collecting trash, replenishing drinks, and handing out meals, while the passengers on the left side watch the flight attendant on the right side and think to themselves, where’s that lazy flight attendant on my side, I need a drink!

The first month I held coach on a widebody I thought it was a fluke. But oh how I took full advantage of that fluke, enjoying every single relaxing minute of it. The second month I held coach I chalked it up to summer travel. Our senior flight attendants have a tendency to take the summer off. And then something strange happened. I held coach for a third consecutive month, not a summer month, and while I was glad to be able to hold it (for dropping purposes), I had begun to get a little bored. I know, even I couldn’t believe it. But I actually found myself missing the hustle and bustle of business class as I sat on the jumpseat in the back of coach after a quick and easy beverage service.

There’s something to be said of being proud of your job, which is directly related to the kind of service you provide. At least I think so. Years ago when I flew international routes, I felt proud to be a flight attendant. There are times I even feel proud when I work in business class on the domestic trips. However, I don’t feel so proud when I run out of food in coach, which causes me to constantly apologize because we don’t have this and we don’t have that to a flight full of miserably cramped passengers. It’s not my fault!

Also, there’s something kind of nice about actually getting to know the passengers I serve, even the demanding ones, which is something that does not happen very often in coach. I don’t know why. I try. All of this made me wonder, am I a “Go-Giver”? I’ve been reading The Go Giver: A Little Story About A Powerful Business Idea, a book about how to achieve success by changing your focus from getting to giving, by putting others interests first, which ultimately leads to unexpected returns that lead to a successful and filled life.

According to the book, there are the five laws of stratospheric success…

  1. The Law of Value: Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
  2. The Law of Compensation: Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
  3. The Law of Influence: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
  4. The Law of Authenticity: The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
  5. The Law of Receptivity: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

The five laws of stratospheric success actually describes just about every flight attendant I know, but it especially describes the flight attendants who actually enjoy working in the premium cabins. What a lot of people don’t know is just how successful a lot of flight attendants truly are. Sure most of the time they’re just serving drinks on the airplane, but ask them what they do when they’re not standing behind the two hundred pound beverage cart and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Just last week I flew with a flight attendant who only flies on the weekends because during the week he’s a psychiatrist at a hospital in New York. Though I’ve never met the man, there’s a doctor, a general practitioner, who works part time as a flight attendant when he’s not dealing with the sick on the ground. I know (and love) a flight attendant who owns a very successful event planning company, planning parties for well known celebrities. And what better place to find fantastic help for those parties than on the airplane? Of course we have tons of cops and nurses, as well as a few actors and published authors, and a couple musicians, and quite a few jewelry designers. I could go on and on. So the next time you’re on a flight and feeling a little bored, try getting to know your flight attendant. We’re actually a very interesting group.

Do you know a Go-Giver? I’d love to hear all about it.

Post a comment (any comment) by Friday, November 17, by 5pm and you’ll have a chance to win a copy of the book The Go-Giver: A Little Story About A Powerful Business Idea, by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Two winners will be chosen. Regardless of who you are and what you do to earn money, there is something for everyone to learn in this book. The principles taught will not only move you forward in business, but also in your personal life. Good Luck!

  • To enter, simply leave a comment below.
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Photo courtesy of: (passengers seated in business) Garyhymes, (flight attendant in the galley) Irishflyguy, (flight attendants on the jumpseat) Re-ality