SkyMall Monday: Solar Powered Mole Repeller

Do you have a mole that you would like removed? No, not on your face. I can’t help you with that. You should see your dermatologist. Seriously. That thing looks troubling. What I was referring to were those annoying rodents who are always ruining our lawns and gardens. Well, maybe your lawns and gardens. I live in Manhattan. Moles can’t make it up to my eighth floor apartment. But for those of you who are sick and tired of moles devastating your well-manicured lawn, SkyMall Monday is here to help you and the environment with this Solar Powered Mole Repeller.

Let’s face it. We just don’t have the time to concoct crazy schemes to catch moles. Who wants to spend an afternoon trying to flood a molehill with a garden hose or fill it with smoke or, perhaps more realistically, explode it with a quarter stick of dynamite? And I’m sure there are other mole repellers that are powered with electricity, but that would require a series of extension chords and a wasteful use of energy.

No, the only viable option is the Solar Powered Mole Repeller that produces “a penetrating, two-second pulse at 30-second intervals, over an area of about 7,000 sq. ft.” How does it work? Well, I could tell you but the product description does a much better job:

Simply place the waterproof, 13 1/2″-long, polymer tube into the mole mound, and they’ll be on their way–they just cannot tolerate that constant underground vibration…drives them crazy!

Sounds like moles hate techno music. Of course, my only fear would be that a gaggle of crazed moles learn to like the pulse-pounding beats and hold a rave on the lawn. Moles with glow sticks are my worst nightmare.

Moles live underground so why not combat them with the power of their arch nemesis, the sun? This giant thumbtack is the answer to the problem you never thought you had but now fear more than any other.

Run, don’t walk, to your closest SkyMall catalog and order yourself the Solar Powered Mole Repeller. It’s us or them. Don’t wait for the mole overlords to take over. Act now.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.