Guilt-free vacation, part I: free your inner workaholic

If you haven’t read about how to screw-off and look good while you’re on vacation, check out yesterday’s article. This is what you’re up against. The workaholic invests even vacation time in career success, and to look like that white-collar stud, you need to deliver beyond the appearances of your lazy, poseur coworkers.

But, you will.

When you get to the office, you see opportunities rather than work. You feel high when you pull the proverbial bunny from a hat. You love this shit. You live by it. You need it.

Your family, on the other hand, has no interest in your latest corporate conquest while you’re supposed to be playing water volleyball with them. They get angry because you can’t get away from your Blackberry. They love you, and they want to spend time with you.

So, you need a plan.

The next two days are for you. The Gadling team has come up with some amazing ways to work your ass off while you’re supposed to be relaxing without incurring wrath from spouse or child. As always, leave a comment and share your ideas. There’s got to be some great stuff out there.

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1. Use the plane wisely
This one’s obvious but important. While you are en route to your destination, you have a rare chance to get away with working when there are no competing priorities. Use it.

2. Build layovers into your travel plans
This is free work time! Pick up a wireless connection, and plug into a power outlet while the kids find an ancient Pac-Man machine. Bring plenty of quarters with you.

3. Get up early; go to bed late
When nobody else is awake, you aren’t depriving them of your time. Block of an hour or so at the beginning and end of every day. You’ll be able to crank out some great stuff for the office, and nobody in the room with you will care.

4. Piss frequently
When you dash into the bathroom, you have a few minutes to pluck away at your Blackberry. Drink a lot of water to add credibility. The easiest lies to maintain are actually truths.

5. Smoker, non-smoking room
Not only do they smell better, non-smoking rooms give you a chance to step outside for a bit. Bring your laptop. To get the most from this approach, also bring a cigar … a big one.

6. Waiting in line
Need to kill 45 minutes at Disney World? Take a call; work your Blackberry; review a document. There’s nothing else to do anyway. Bonus points: time your arrival at a long line to coincide with a conference call.

7. Set expectations up front
If there are some pressing issues at the office that you just can’t avoid, prepare the family. Let your spouse know that you may have to duck out for a bit. Be as specific as possible (e.g., provide conference call times). Don’t get greedy, though. Keep the calls to a minimum.

8. Look like you’re relaxing
Print documents you’ll need and bring them to the pool or beach. Tuck them in a magazine. Vanity Fair is thick enough that you can “lose” almost anything in it.

9. Forward your e-mail
If you can’t access your corporate e-mail account from the road, have it forwarded to your personal account. Let your colleagues know that they can reach you this way and to expect to hear from you using a different address.

10. Make all day “think time”
Take notes on your projects before you leave. Review them in the morning, and take the entire day to mull them over. You can be productive without looking like you’re working.

If you need more than this, fear not. Tomorrow, we’ll bring a few more tips to you. Before you know it, your family will think you can cut your ties to the office, and none of your coworkers will realize you aren’t at your desk.

Have you seen yesterday’s post yet?