I hate airports. It never used to be like this, because most of my travel used to take me abroad. I always looked forward to spending some time at the various major international Airports.
Most of my travel nowadays is between US airports, and it is obvious all my years of international travel spoiled me for life. There are just a handful of decent airports in the US, but the vast majority are just a disgrace. Even airports that act as the gateway to the nation greet tourists with dull and uninspired buildings, rude staff and confusing public transport.
Call me negative Nancy, but I’ve listed ten of the things that annoy me the most when I’m at the airport. Let me know in the comments whether you share any of these things.
Lines
Lets face it – unless you are an elite level flier (or you are flying out of a quiet airport), your trip is going to mean you’ll be standing in line, just so you can stand in line, so you can stand in line.
You’ll encounter lines at the check-in desk or check-in computer kiosk, you’ll be in line for security, you’ll be in line at the gate, you’ll be in line at the air bridge, and you’ll be in line on the plane waiting for someone to spend their first five minutes on board slowly getting comfortable. Lines suck, and unless you are really mellow, lines are a sure way to get your trip off to a bad start.
The “security” checkpoint
TSA staff rank up there with most other bureaucrats. There vast majority of them are good people out there, but plenty of them stand around the security area radiating total and utter contempt for the traveling public.
Basic help is rarely available, and any time the stress of travel makes you forget to empty your pockets or remove your laptop, you find yourself on the receiving end of a monkey in a blue shirt yelling at you. Sadly, all this harassment is done under the disguise of keeping us safe from terrorists, which is the magic word that allows people to be rude.
Poor seating
Airports spend millions on art, but when it comes to providing decent seats, they must shop at IKEA. Even though airports know they’ll often need to take care of you for several hours, the seating they provide is horrible. Of course, it wouldn’t surprise me if it is just done so they can force you into their overpriced restaurants, because spending $6 on a beer appears to be the only way you’ll get a decent place to sit.
Baggage fees
In the past, once you’d paid for your ticket, the only money the airline would get out of you would be for a decent drink on your flight. That has all changed with airlines demanding money for checked bags. A family of 4, each with 2 bags can easily find themselves parting with $200 at the airport.
Concession stands, restaurants and stores
Who doesn’t like paying $10 for a stale sandwich or a 2 day old bagel? Airport food sucks, is overpriced and is usually inedible. There are a couple of airports who managed to find a decent restaurant, but the vast majority consists of bad sandwich stores and greasy fast food.
With a couple of exceptions, US airports also offer a dull array of stores. Just how many people actually shop at the airport Brookstone? Would it hurt them to start offering some real choices? One quick look at Amsterdam, Dubai or Hong Kong shows how a real airport shopping center should be.
Public transportation
Very few US airports have the luxury of a decent public transportation system. When these places were designed, most architects forgot that not everyone would be traveling by car. Even some of the busiest airports in the world (like JFK in New York) didn’t get a decent public transit system till several years ago. Others, like LAX don’t have any direct connections (other than a poor bus service).
As usual, some of the airports outside the US show us how things should be – Hong Kong has a high speed rail service connecting the airport with downtown, Amsterdam has an underground train station linking the airport with most Dutch stations, and even Heathrow offers arriving and departing passengers multiple rail options.
The executive lounge
The “executive lounge” is where elite passengers and people traveling in first class can relax separated from the commoners. In the US, the lounge is a dark and poorly designed room, where you can trade a drink coupon for a beer.
Outside the US, the executive lounge is a completely different story – airports like Heathrow and Hong Kong offer lounge amenities from complimentary spa services to noodle and ice cream bars and an assortment of top shelf liquor. The contrast is amazing. Upscale in the US means grabbing a cracker before someone beats you to it. Upscale abroad means trying to pick which of the various freshly cooked meals you’d like.
Parking
Parking at the airport is a huge scam. There is no logical explanation why a parking spot should cost more than a couple of bucks a day. Arriving back home from a 2 week trip, and having to fork over a $210 to get your car back is a rip-off.
Even short term parking can be a nightmare – $10/hour is not unheard of, and a simple departure delay could mean you are out $20 just for the luxury of waving goodbye.
Drop-off lanes
Does anyone know when dropping people off at the airport became such a pain in the ass? Most airports now employ security staff equipped with whistles and bright orange vests who have been programmed to ensure nobody spends more than 20 seconds saying goodbye to their loved ones. Travel is stressful enough, but these bottom feeders make things far worse than it should be.
Gate lice and the boarding rush
We’ve all seen them (perhaps you are one of them) – the people who hang around the boardin
g door making sure they can get on board the plane before anyone else. They are called gate lice, and they make a sport out of completely ignoring all requests from the gate staff.
Even though they never seem to be in the first boarding group, they’ll still stay put, and as the people who are actually eligible for priority boarding make their way to the gate, they won’t budge. When people walk past them with “boarding group 1” in hand, they’ll stare them down. I hate them, and wish they’d all just stay home.