SkyMall Monday: Brightfeet Lighted Slippers

The SkyMall Monday headquarters can get pretty dark at night. Not just because it’s built into the side of a mountain like a Bond villain’s lair, but because we here at the home office love to sleep. We don’t enjoy it when anything disrupts our slumber. So, we keep it dark and quiet. Sometimes, however, someone has to get up in the middle of the night to tinkle, and that just causes trouble. Once lights get turned on or screams are generated by toes stubbed in the dark, everyone is awake and upset. Hurtful things are said, bedside books are thrown and another episode of COPS has all the domestic dispute footage that it needs. Thankfully, there’s now a way for people to relieve their bladders without pissing everyone off. No, not rubber sheets. Those are gross and noisy when you are making whoopie. Once again, SkyMall has answered the call of nature people with very specific problems with a logical, practical and handsome solution. Just like cars have headlights, it’s about time that we took responsibility for our own illumination. That’s why we should all keep a pair of Brightfeet Lighted Slippers next to our beds.Here at Gadling, we know a thing or two about footwear with lights. With the Brightfeed Lighted Slippers, we can finally keep our feet warm and our toes away from hazards such as end tables, doors and venomous armoires. The LED lights are weight-activated and light-sensitive, so the lights will only be turn on when you wear the slippers in the dark. Now, instead of turning on the bedroom light and waking your husband/boyfriend/one-night stand/guy you drugged for sport, you can tip-toe to the bathroom quietly and safely.

Think that people should be allowed to turn on the lights when they have to get up in the middle of the night? Think that without turning on the lights that people will urinate all over the toilet seat, floor and toothbrush holder? Well, you should stop peeing while you have an erection. You should also read the product description:

It’s like having nightlights on your feet – ideal for night time trips to the bathroom, kitchen or kid’s room.

It’s not only like having nightlights on your feet, it’s literally having nightlights on your feet. Though, I usually prefer my nightlights to look like Sesame Street characters or smell like lavender.

Waking up in the middle of the night is never fun. Waking up someone else in the middle of the night is a recipe for a fight at some ungodly hour that results in you being cranky at the office and your coworkers to suspect that there are problems at home. Then they’ll start asking if you want to go to lunch at the local Outback Steakhouse to talk and, well, that just sounds depressing. So, if you’re going to pee at 2:00am, I suggest that you do it quietly, efficiently and away from your sleeping companion(s). Get your hands (or, I suppose, feet) on some Brightfeet Lighted Slippers and start making your way to the bathroom – and through life – unimpeded.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.