SkyMall Monday: Body Back Buddy

Portability has been the driving force behind most technological innovations in the last few decades. Phones became mobile. Those mobile phones became smaller. Computers begat laptops which begat netbooks which could possibly become antiquated if tablets have anything to say about it. Not all tools have been made portable, though. Sadly, coat racks remain stationary devices despite the fact that our jackets exist solely to be taken places. Yet, when the time comes to take a coat off in a car, plane or any other warm/indoor place, there’s no rack on which to hang those coats.

How is this possible? How are we not taking coat racks with us to handle our removed jackets? Why are we still tying our outerwear around our waists as if we’re Joey Lawrence? Finally, we can stop asking those philosophical questions because our long nightmare is over. The coat rack has gone portable and we have SkyMall to thank for bringing this technology into the 21st century. This week, SkyMall Monday is beyond excited to feature an invention that will forever change how you hang your coats when you leave the house. Feast your eyes on the Body Back Buddy.While it may seem strange to name a portable coat rack the “Body Back Buddy,” it’s pretty logical when you think about it. I mean, you wear coats on your body so that they cover your back. Something that holds those precious coats once they’ve been removed is clearly your buddy. So, yeah, the name isn’t odd at all. It’s fantastic.

Think that a portable coat rack is an idiotic idea? Think that people should just wear their coats all the time? If that’s the case, why do they make malls so hot in the winter? Think about that while you’re reading the product description:

Our most popular design reflects years of feedback from massage therapists, chiropractors, and physical therapists. With 11 therapy knobs, the Body Back Buddy stimulates in between muscles and pinpoints trigger points for a more finely-tuned treatment.

The Body Back Buddy is engineered to be lightweight, strong and easy to use. This portable massager combines the best of the Body Back Buddy features for those who want the ultimate self massage tool.

Wait. It’s a personal massager? Then why does it look like a coat rack*? What the hell’s a therapy knob? I’m so confused.

Well, whatever this thing does, it does it well. And it’s portable. Portability is key. That’s why you need the Body Back Buddy.

* I know you’re thinking, “Mike, it looks like a dildo tree. Why didn’t you make more jokes about that?” I couldn’t disagree with you more. It looks like a dildo vine. Believe me, I wanted to write this whole post about how the Body Back Buddy is clearly a sex toy sent from the future to protect me from the other sex toys that will one day become sentient and destroy us all. Sadly, though, the last time I made SkyMall Monday that sexual, the internet threw up in the comments section. So, instead you got this coat rack post. Hope you’re happy, prudes!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.