Surrey County mulls livestock to limit public sex

No trip to Surrey County, it seems, is complete without a little outdoor sex. The thrill of pull-your-hair-out-ecstasy intimacy under the stars … or the sun, or a neighbor’s watchful eye … is apparently too enticing to pass up. I’m not sure what makes Surrey such a desirable location, but county residents are looking to change it. More than 300 Puttenham residents have written to the county council that “a field near the Hog’s Back lay-by on the A31 was ‘being used for all kinds of sexual activity night and day’ by doggers.”

The complaints have some legitimacy, as the prime sex spot is visible from the Puttenham Church of England Infant School.

The council won’t shut down the rest area and nearby café, so as not to deprive “legitimate visitors,” but they are ready to deploy an unlikely ally in chasing the doggers away: livestock. The thinking isn’t clear, but it’s seems safe to assume that the presence of bulls would make the spot less attractive to public frolickers.

The locals aren’t buying it. According to the Telegraph:

Speaking about the idea of putting bulls into the field to deter the doggers, Mrs Perkins said: “I have to say that some of the comments from the cabinet were quite frightening, such as the suggestion to put bulls in the field.

“What a ridiculous idea.”

Local Sarah Green, 32, said today: “How the council can sit there with straight faces and suggest putting a herd of bulls in a field to stop people having sex in it is almost too ridiculous to contemplate.

Meanwhile, county council leader Dr. Andrew Povey calls the use of bulls as a solution “viable,” unlike other “mad ideas.”

Since other measures aren’t likely, it appears that this Surrey spot will continue to attract sexual thrill-seekers. My advice: do it at night. There’s a school nearby.

[photo by cyberuly via Flickr]