Blogger accepts press trip to Great Pacific Garbage Patch, lost at sea for seven weeks

Steve Zorio, staff blogger for travel blog upstart hipjaunter is not a happy person. The wayward travel blogger, just back from seven weeks at sea has just returned from what he calls “a totally lame” press trip to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, the 15,000,000 square kilometer island of trash slowly circling through the world’s largest ocean.

After being air dropped out of a sea-plane into the center of the swirling mass of diapers and plastic bags, Mr. Zorio spent a whole two hours waiting for happy hour and a massage until he got suspicious about the whole way that this press trip was going to shake out.

Three days into his affair, he was able to fashion a raft out of orange peels, boarding passes and his comped Delsey Platinum edition ultra-fit four robolaser roll-a-board and set sail for the west coast of North America, where he washed ashore earlier this week.

We were able to reach Mr. Zorio for comment at LAX where he was waiting to board his flight back to New York City:

Dude, I thought GPGP was the acronym for Galapagos or some shit. My contact at Clampet International PR said that this place was totally going to be on the New York Times hotlist for 2012 and I wanted to make sure that I filed all of the first Yelp reviews.

I don’t know. I saw “You’re Invited” in the title line of the message from CIPR and just kind of blacked out.

Asked about whether or not a visit to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch had changed his life or whether his visit had any impact on his opinion of the region he replied:

Where? I don’t know, I’m already on my way to check out a boutique spa in Barbados. I’ll probably just paste the press release that I got into a blog article and try to sneak it past my editor. I don’t give a shit about what he thinks anyway.