California To Build Bridge To Hawaii

You know what happens when you ship a car with a Hawaiian license plate from Hawaii to the mainland? You get this sentence at every gas station:

“Hawaii huh? So how long was the drive?”

This, inevitably, is always followed by hearty laughter as if they are the first person to ever think up that joke. Often, the laughter is followed by coughing, then hacking up phlegm and then another trip to the bathroom.

Finally, however, after years of speculation and intense research, a private construction firm in California has reached a deal to construct a bridge from California to Hawaii, which will render the bad joke obsolete.

Beginning in Oxnard, California, and terminating in Kahului, Maui, “Interstate 2” is projected to take seven years to complete and will employ over 2,700 workers. Privately funded by various Southern California social elite who can’t stand renting a Ford Mustang while spending the obligatory one week per year in their Maui mansion, as part of a plan to reduce costs and simultaneously free up prison space, the firm has agreed to a deal, which would utilize California inmates who have a passable background in either engineering, construction or commercial diving.

As can be expected, news of the project has brought about mixed reactions.

Trevor C. McLeonard, a retired accounting executive from Newport Beach who spends eight days per year in his Maui home, seemed a bit ambivalent about the development.

“It’s going to be a long drive for sure,” he admits. “But it beats dealing with the TSA.”

Meanwhile, in Wailuku, Maui, county lifeguard Kimo Ka’ahui was all smiles about the new road.

“Ho, now I can drive my truck to Vegas! Shoots!”

[Image: Quasimime on Flickr]