We’re all familiar with the “rude American.” And, I’m sure we all are aware of the stereotypes involving people in other countries. There’s really no such thing as a popular tourist, it seems, and it isn’t unusual to hear locals described as cold, unfriendly or detached. Sure, there are exceptions to this, but enough complaints have circulated to give the claims at least a bit of credibility. Have you ever wondered why this is?
I have.
I’ve lived almost my entire adult life in cities considered to be among the rudest (Boston and New York), and I probably exemplify the complaints that tourists have about these destinations. I’ve also been a tourist and found that some of the “coldest” cities in the world (e.g., Paris) weren’t bad at all. It’s obvious that there’s a disconnect, and this has been on my mind for quite some time.
I’m starting to believe it’s that tourists expect too much. There’s a difference between being a guest in someone’s city and being a guest in his home. In one case, you make the choice, and in the other, you have to be invited. All too often, we behave as though the former implies the latter. It doesn’t, and when we make this imprudent assumption, it annoys the locals. I get it. I don’t blame them.
I came to this conclusion while riding the 3 train from the Wall Street stop last week (it was involved in the thinking I did at that point after having an experience with demanding tourists). I was running from one meeting to another, and a tourist tried to stop me to take a picture of him in front of the New York Stock Exchange. I didn’t have time, and his face showed a bit of attitude. Also, he didn’t take a second to think that “guy in a hurry” means “guy who doesn’t have time to stop and take my picture for me.”
The problem, it seems, is one of mindset. When we’re on vacation, we do our best to let go, to put the concerns of the workday (and obligations of the evenings) behind us. We want to relax, to unwind. In doing so, it’s sometimes easy to forget that the people at our destination aren’t on vacation. They are taking the kids to soccer games, hurrying to get back to the office after lunch and trying to enjoy a drink at the end of a busy day.
Sometimes, they are too busy to deal with us, and sometimes, they just don’t want to.
It’s hard to blame them, of course. All you need to do is think about how wiped out you are at the end of the day, and then wonder how you’d respond to a tourist trying to stop you on your way home … because he wants to be in a picture that has a local landmark in the background. Sure, there are times when it’s no problem. I’ve taken more tourist photos than I can count for visitors to New York. I’ve also lost track of the times I’ve had to (or chosen to) decline.
When you take your next vacation and find yourself looking for help from a local, be understanding. Realize that you may not be the most important thing on that person’s mind. And if you come to New York, I’d be happy to take your picture in front of the bull, but if I’m running past, let’s do it at another time. Deal?
[photo courtesy of Corporate Secretary]