Fake bomb threat leads to probation

Mark Randall Rayborn will be on probation for the next four years. He was accused of telling an off-duty Northwest Airlines pilot that he had five pounds of explosives in his carry-on.

The plane was pulling back from the gate at Denver International Airport last year when Rayborn broke the news to the man sitting next to him while grabbing his bag. As a result of this episode, the flight was delayed for four hours while bomb-sniffing dogs searched the plane. All 140 passengers were screened again.

The 56-year-old gump responsible for making air travel even more difficult will celebrate his 60th birthday with the thought that he’s repaid his debt to society. Somehow, it doesn’t seem like enough.

New Ryanair PR stunt – fat tax and $3 to smoke in the bathroom

In the past, I always found Ryanair to be that annoying airline with the wacky CEO. In recent months I’ve started to realize that I was wrong all along – they are brilliant, and they have mastered the art of generating PR.

Ryanair does not care how they make the news, they are the kings of “any PR is good PR”.

It doesn’t matter whether it is news about their porn star flight attendant, or pranks about a paid bathroom – the airline knows how to be in the news.

And what better way to get in the news than posting passenger suggestions for generating extra revenue for the airline!

The top 3 ideas submitted by people at Ryanair.com are:

  1. Excess fee for overweight passengers
  2. $1 for toilet paper with the CEO’s face printed on it
  3. $3 to smoke in a specially converted smokers bathroom

Brilliant! Controversial, and perfectly easy to implement. And also so well timed, just a week after United Airlines decided to start charging severely overweight passengers for 2 seats.

The airline is serious too – they are asking passengers to vote for the best way to charge overweight passengers for this new “fat tax”.

All I can say is – well played Ryanair!

Galley Gossip: Hanging business class coats (it’s just a flight attendant thing)

Quickly I walk to gate 40B dressed in navy blue polyester, a tall latte in one hand, pulling my suitcase on wheels with the other hand. I flash the crew ID hanging around my neck at the frazzled agent manning the counter. Even though she’s sorting out a problem with a passenger, she crosses my name off a list and barks over her shoulder “We’re going to board in ten minutes!” I punch in the security code and swing the heavy jet bridge door open. Down the long ramp I go where the 767 awaits.

The first thing I do is introduce myself to the crew. “Hi, I’m Heather. I think we may have flown together before…a long time ago. I’m working in business.”

Each of my coworkers will then tell me their name, whether or not they think we’ve flown together, shared a Kew Gardens cab or hung out around the pool on a layover…a long time ago, followed by the cabin they’re working in.

After I stow my bags in my official crew bag storage location (an overhead bin in coach), I check my emergency equipment to make sure it’s there and working. Then I do something the others on my crew will not do, something I always do five minutes after I board the aircraft. I head straight for the closet and count the hangers. Why? Because I’m hanger girl. Regardless of the time of year, there are always coats to be hung in business class and the last thing I want to do is run out of hangers, which is why I count – one through fifteen – just in case I need to call cabin service for more.

Over the years I have become quite obsessed with the number of hangers we have on board the aircraft. Maybe it’s because I usually get stuck working in business class, the most junior position on the airplane, and hanging thirty black and blue coats during boarding is my least favorite thing to do. There’s nothing worse than being trapped between business class and coach with thirty adult passengers standing in front of their cushy business class seats looking at me as if I’m not doing my job.

“Can you take this!” they often say, impatiently waving a coat at me.

%Gallery-37600%

“I’ll be there in a second!” I always reply, forcing a smile, as passengers slowly, slowly, one by one, file past me to get to their seats in coach. Though I can’t force my way upstream, not without pushing passengers out of my way, I’m always ready to do my job, black plastic hanger in hand.

Today we only have fifteen hangers for thirty business class passengers. But that’s okay, because if we double hang the coats (one on top of the other) we can make it work – no problem. So I divide them in half – seven for my coworker and eight for me – and place them in the seat back pocket of the last row in business class. Why? Because I’m hanger girl. It’s just my thing.

Every flight attendant has their thing.

While James is obsessed with those thin squares of foam (that separate the dry ice from the beer and wine) that he’ll use to line the inserts full of cups, napkins and sugar, making it look so nice and neat, Blake expects his first and business class mugs to be warmed at all times – not just for the dessert service, and no one in the system cracks ice like Jay – even after I’ve already cracked it because I’m working the galley, not Jay. If Dale is on your flight you will never, ever, run out of paper towels in the lavatory. Louise always makes sure we never run out of trash bags. That’s because she doesn’t dare leave the galley without a bag in hand for fear she might actually have to touch the trash. And Diane, who can’t stay awake on the all-nighters, makes a point to always have freshly brewed coffee as well as cartons of warmed milk (taken from first class) to serve in coach. She also double bags it. That’s why I drink her coffee.

Double bagging – the act of using two coffee packets for one pot of coffee on the airplane. Mostly found on international routes. By the way, since we’re on the subject, I always double bag my hotel coffee – the decaf and the regular. Just in case you wanted to know

So tell me, all you amazing flight attendants out there, what’s your thing – and why? I’m not talking about what you don’t like, I’m talking about what you do, that little something special, to make sure the flight runs smoothly. I’d love to hear all about it.

Photo courtesy of (mug) Bliss

New Pet Airways lets dogs embark and keeps cats out of the reeear

I’ve been saying it sarcastically for years: Pets need their own airline. Finally, Pet Airways of Delray Beach, Florida, has answered my fake prayers.

The new airline’s founders, Dan Wiesel and Alysa Binder, got the idea after they traveled with their dog Zoe, and their airline is the world’s first that focuses exclusively on the comfortable transportion of pets.

On most non-pet flights, pets are shipped like baggage in the cargo hold, a process which Wiesel says is “frightening” and which “can cause severe emotional and physical harm, even death.” He added: “This is not what most pet owners want to subject their pets to, but they have had no other choice, until now.”

Special “pet attendants” will give the animals bathroom breaks before the flight and check in on them every fifteen minutes after take-off.

The airline will serve five US cities– New York, DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Denver, and its first flight will take place on July 14.

More, including a groan-inducing usage of the word “pawsengers,” here.

Woman paralyzed after bad turbulence on Continental Airlines flight

Turbulence just claimed another victim – this time the victim was in the bathroom on Continental flight 511 when the plane hit some turbulence and a sudden descent.

The sudden drop threw the woman against the ceiling of the bathroom, fracturing her neck.

Doctors spent 6 hours operating on her, but her injury left her paralyzed from the neck down.

The incident also injured one other passenger and a crew member, but they were released from hospital.

According to a Continental Airlines spokesperson, the seatbelt sign was illuminated when the plane hit the turbulence.

The NTSB is awaiting more information before they start an official investigation into the incident.

All I can say is let this be yet another reminder to pay attention to that seatbelt sign and that I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the lady is able to recover from this tragic accident, but doctors say only time will tell whether her situation can improve.

(Thanks Nick!)