Bing’s Traveler’s Bill of Rights

by Erik Olsen on

It was a bit less than a year ago that I was heading back from Newfoundland after a glorious week’s vacation and was turned away in St. John’s because our flight had been canceled. I was furious. How ca an airline do that, I fumed? How can they just turn you away, and provide no help to find a hotel, let alone partially or fully subsidize one. We spent the rest of that day just trying to find a reasonable place to stay for the night before getting up and heading back to the airport to try again.

Well, it seems Stanley Bing over at Fortune has had a similar experience and he has penned a Traveler’s Bil of Rights in his column this month. Some of the items on the list are a bit more tongue in cheek…that, for example, executive fliers should never have to eat the lasagna. But his second right, after demanding every traveler have the right to a town car (OK, that’s a bit elitist…but it IS Fortune), his second right is that no traveler shall suffer the cancellation of a flight.

Is this realistic? No it is not. Weather, mechanical failure and lots of other reasons can lead to a flight being canceled. But what the airlines should have is a better system of accommodating fliers who’s flights have been canceled. Airports should have sleeping lounges or at least make it so seats perhaps fold out. Coffee or drinks should be given. Yes, I know the airlines industry is still suffering economically, but me and Stanley don’ think it’s to much to ask for a little more help when a flight is canceled. This is the 21st century after all and ‘m mad enough don’t have my darn jet-pack yet.

Airlines vs You: Sometimes You Can Win

by Jamie Rhein on

Here’s a story in Saturday’s Philadelphia Enquirer about a woman who fought with Delta Airlines for a ticket reimbursement from a ticket she bought on Priceline. Eventually, the woman won, but it wasn’t an easy battle and she still missed a job interview. The story is a good lesson in consumer rights. Be polite, but firm and don’t quit before you’re satisfied.

Generally, I’ve been fairly lucky with air travel, except perhaps I’m choosing to remain oblivious and only remember the good times. Here are a couple of my stories of winning. When it happens, it sure feels good.

There was the one time I was flying out of LaGuardia heading for New Mexico when the flight was canceled and the airlines thought it was appropriate to rebook me on an hours-later flight. I argued for something better which involved the airline sending me in a taxi to JFK so I could fly out of there.

Then there was the time when we didn’t reconfirm our Korean Airlines reservation when we were flying out of Narita, Japan and lost our seats. (You have to confirm 72 hours in advance and this was the summer.) Somehow we were rebooked on a Japan Airlines flight even though we had non-transferable tickets.

Then there was last summer when we were flying from Columbus to Denver through St. Louis. The flight out of Columbus was canceled and we were booked on a later flight that meant several hours of wait time in St. Louis. Once in St. Louis I saw there was an earlier flight and we got on it, but had to go back to the airport to get our bags since they came in on the later flight. At least I wasn’t in the airport with a 4 year-old and was able to pick up the rental car sans bags. Sometimes its good to not take the no for an answer.

Mouse Delays Flight for 4 Hours

by Jonathon Morgan on

Mice are expected in some forms of public transportation. The rats in New York’s subway system are legendary — and I wouldn’t be that surprised to see a little rodent scurrying around a Greyhound. But mice on planes? Not only is it unusual, but when it does happen, it’s apparently quite the problem

So much so, that a recent Vietnam Airlines flight to Tokyo was delayed for four hours thanks to a small white mouse scurrying down the aisles. A passenger spotted the furry stowaway before the plane took off, and technicians had to be brought in to kill the critter.

But this didn’t go very well. In fact, it was so difficult to catch the mouse that passengers were sent to a hotel while all their luggage was removed from the plane, allowing technicians to search more thoroughly for the elusive little guy.

Thankfully, the rodent was finally captured, and the plane took off — albeit at 4 a.m.

All I can think of is Bill Murray in Caddyshack, and his relentless pursuit of that animatronic, dancing gopher. Fortunately Vietnam Airlines didn’t resort to his guerilla tactics, or that plane never would’ve got off the ground.

Pilot Thrown Off Plane for Cursing

by Justin Glow on

Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around, where the passenger is thrown off for disrupting the flight? Apparently not.

First-class passengers aboard a Northwest Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Detroit heard the pilot step aboard on his cellphone, “swearing up a storm,” saying, “‘F this’ and ‘F that.'” They confronted the pilot, who became even more irate, swearing at passengers. LVPD and the FAA were called, who pulled the pilot off the plane for questioning. The flight was eventually canceled.

Good move by the passengers, I say. I wouldn’t want an irate, swearing pilot flying the plane I’m on — because I know what I do if I’m mad and get behind the wheel: pay less attention to my driving and more attention to whatever it is I’m mad about. I don’t know about you, but I’d want the full attention of the pilot focused on the job of flying the plane.

Party Flights Themed After Nightclubs

by Jonathon Morgan on

Monarch, the European budget airline, is offering Ibiza-bound passengers a more exciting way to travel. Revelers en route to the world’s foremost destination for clubbing and all-around debauchery can now get started early on the company’s new “party plane.”

Or can they?

Because, by the sounds of it, the party is a little lame. While the inside is said to be decked out in bright colors and a nightclub theme, cabin crews won’t be tolerating any drunken behavior, and anyone who’s already intoxicated won’t be allowed on board in the first place. It’s been awhile since I’ve been clubbing, but — if memory serves — isn’t getting drunk more or less the point?

But, says Monarch, the fun part is that you’ll be able to buy “funky” music CDs during your “party plane” experience. Unfortunately, a) this doesn’t sound like fun at all, and b) it seems to run contrary to their claims of “chic hedonism.”

On the other hand, “it’s the first time a plane has ever adopted a music brand,” says a company spokeswoman. This may not make the new planes much of a party, but is certainly something that set them apart from the competition.

So, a little in-flight fun — even if it’s subdued — might be a good way to get the party started, even if you’ll have to hold back on the real rowdy behavior until after arrival.