Airbus to Make First United States Landing on Monday

by Neil Woodburn on

If you happen to be in Los Angeles Monday morning (3/19/07) consider swinging by LAX to witness the future of air travel.

At 9:30 a.m. the long heralded Airbus A380 will be landing on runway 1, marking the jumbo plane’s first visit to American tarmac. Shortly afterwards, a second A380 will be landing at New York’s JFK airport.

The 555 seat behemoth with its 300-foot wingspan will be a wonder to behold when it appears from the east and plunks down on American soil. The LAX flight will be originating from Toulouse, France while the JFK flight will take off from Frankfurt, Germany.

The inaugural flights to the United States are expected to draw large crowds of slack-jawed plane enthusiasts. According to the LA Times, thousands of spectators are expected to line the fences surrounding LAX to witness this historic event. At least one street will be closed to accommodate the crowds which will start arriving as early as 5:00 a.m.

Perhaps a more exciting way to witness the A380 will be when it takes of between 7:30-7:45 p.m. Tuesday night. Dockweiler Beach, which sits just west of the runways, will be the perfect place to watch the massive plane soar overhead and jet off into the distance.

For a map of LAX and an itinerary of the A380 schedule, click here.

Huge Gallery of Airline Emergency Information Cards

by Justin Glow on

It doesn’t matter how often I fly — each time I sit down in my seat, I always take the little emergency information card out of the seat-back and look through it. I don’t understand why I do this; I never absorb any of the material in case there’s an emergency. It’s just a habit. Kind of like flipping through the Skymall magazine — it’s there, therefor it must be looked at. Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I take the barf bag out and give it a once-over too.

Now I can satisfy my strange obsession at home, too, with this huge gallery of flotation device and emergency oxygen instructions. Perhaps I’ll look at them each night before bed, just for old time’s sake.

That one up there is my favorite. It looks like she’s milking a mechanical cow.

[via grow a brain]

Asylum Airlines

by Willy Volk on

In 2000, roughly 400,000 asylum seekers applied for asylum in the EU. Of course, many of those people were refused asylum and were deported.

Currently, commercial airlines fly deportees back home. However, deporting people is unpleasant for everyone involved. Not only is it expensive for governments to deport people, it’s intimidating for “normal” passengers to see chained deportees surrounded by armed security on their flight. As a result, many commercial airlines have stopped taking asylum seekers.

Seeing a need, therefore, two businessmen are planning to launch a new airline devoted specifically for failed asylum seekers. So-called Asylum Airlines will provide meals, guards, medical staff, and a representative of a human rights group on each flight. They’ll even provide padded rooms for the unruly.

Essentially, the planes will fly around Europe, pick up failed asylum seekers, and return them to their homes. According to one of the businessmen, “With a professional service the deportations will be faster, chains will not be needed and the deportees can enjoy a meal.” Amusingly, the men claim they haven’t made plans for inflight entertainment or a frequent-flyer scheme.

This is probably one airline you don’t want to test, so be certain to double-check the information on Priceline before hitting that “purchase” button!

[Via Mobissimo; Photo: Java Cafe]

Funny Air Traffic Controller Quotes

by Justin Glow on

I normally don’t post things that typically get sent around as email forwards, but this is pretty funny.

I ran across a collection of funny air traffic controller quotes, and they’re supposed to be real even though there’d be absolutely no way to prove their validity. Even so, let’s just pretend they are because they’re way funnier that way. Here’s my favorite:

Control tower to a 747: “United 239 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, eastbound.”
United 239: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this … I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

DO’s and DONT’s For Speeding Through Security Checkpoints

by Willy Volk on

Condé Nast Traveler aviation correspondent Barbara S. Peterson got hired as a Transportation Security Administration screener last fall. After working for the TSA for 2 months, she wrote an insider’s piece called “My Life as An Airport Screener.”

Her fascinating expose reveals, among other things, that despite a five-year, $20 billion overhaul, the TSA is overflowing with an overtaxed (but dedicated) workforce coping with equipment shortages, budget cuts, and countless unpleasant passengers. Who knew?

After reading the piece, I was left with the thought that maybe I’ve treated TSA screeners a little unfairly over the years. I felt guilty when I read Peterson’s comment: “I was left to conclude that the screeners have become the scapegoats for failures throughout the system.” How many of us have blamed them, hurled insults at them, mocked them? Plastic bags of what size? Why do I have to remove my shoes? Check out the complete article for what Peterson’s experience was like. It’s depressing, eye-opening, and amusing all at the same time.

The article is lengthy. If you haven’t got time right now to read it, you can do it later. In the meantime, check out Peterson’s list of DO’s and DONT’s for getting through security checkpoints faster:

  • DON’T tell a screener that you are about to miss your flight (it won’t win you any sympathy and could even arouse suspicion).
  • DON’T wear clothing with metallic objects such as buckles.
  • DON’T wear lots of jewelry or hairpins that can’t be easily removed.
  • DON’T say you “forgot” you have liquids in your bag.
  • DON’T try to jam everything into one bin in a misguided effort to be helpful-it’s much harder to screen.
  • DON’T accuse screeners of theft: Once you’re certain an item is missing, speak to a supervisor.
  • DON’T tell screeners “it only comes in this size” or “it’s almost empty” when asked to surrender containers of liquid larger than three ounces.
  • DON’T tell them how much you spent on the toiletries-it won’t make any difference if they’re the wrong size.
  • DON’T block traffic by repacking your belongings on the conveyor belt.
  • DO wear easily removable shoes.
  • DO keep your boarding pass in hand.
  • DO take the plastic bag holding liquids out of your carry-on before putting it through the X-ray machine.
  • DO lay your bag on its side (the upright position is much harder to “read” and may trigger a rescreening).
  • DO put items through the X-ray machine only when you are ready to walk through the metal detector. This minimizes the time you’re separated from your belongings.
  • DO make sure that you have all items before you leave the checkpoint.

[Via World Hum; Photo: Matt McGee]