GADLING’S TAKE FIVE: Week of December 3

by Adrienne Wilson on

Time to wrap up the week that was with some of our some very tasty and foul entries.

5. How to Have A Bad Time in New York City:
Sad to say, but everyone who arrives in NYC doesn’t have a great time which is not a reflection of the city by any means. Instead it goes to show how much homework time they invested in seeing the Big Apple the right way. To avoid having a bad time on your first trip in try giving this article here a spin.

4. Find a Grave Tourism:
Over the last year or so I’ve been attracted to cemeteries for many reasons and thankfully none of which were to attend a funeral. When Neil posted this plug on finding graves of celebrities or even your own special loved ones I thought how cool! Not that I go stalking the dead on a regular basis, but there is so much history in grave yards. Anyhow, if this sounds like your sort of thing too then go take a look.

3. Low Rollers Guide to Vegas:
Looking to go to Vegas on a tight budget? Head to Downtown Las Vegas where Low Rollers remain Low Rollers and save a little pocket change.

2. No Lights on Flights:
Passing on gas on planes probably won’t earn the kind of fame and stardom you’re seeking in life, but lighting a match to your flatulence will. Read the tale about common sense lost and a plane grounded when a woman tries to cover her smelly toots from her caboose.

1. Smile! You’ve Been Secretly Profiled!:
For some folks being spied on is a high honor that shows someone really cares, but for others it is enough to boil the blood stream and do nutty things. What kind of nutty things? I don’t know for sure, but it sounds as though the government has been secretly collecting data on domestic and international travelers for the last four years. Flattered yet? What they’ve managed to soak up and put in your own personal folder may be of interest to you. Check it out.

Intestinal Horror at 30,000 Feet

by Neil Woodburn on

With all these disgusting posts we’ve had recently about flatulence and excessive stink within the confines of an airplane, I’d like to throw a recent horror story of my own into the mix.

About two weeks ago I was in New York City celebrating Thanksgiving. Actually, I was across the water in Jersey, but on Sunday my girlfriend and I headed over to the Big Apple for a day of fun and culture.

Monday morning I had to fly back to Los Angeles on a horribly early 6 a.m. flight out of Newark. This meant waking up at 4 a.m. to get to the airport on time. Although this was painful enough, the true pain came shortly after passing through security when my stomach started to feel a bit queasy. My quick dash to the bathroom revealed a violent attempt of my body to expel last night’s dinner from whichever opening offered the least resistance. Yes, folks, I had food poisoning.

I would love to tell you where I got it, but I could only narrow it town to an Irish restaurant where I had a late lunch or an Italian restaurant where I had a late dinner. Since I am not sure which it was, both will have to remain anonymous for this story.

Perhaps I was stupid for doing so, but I decided to suck it up and board the plane. Over the course of the next seven hours, including a stopover in Chicago, I made frequent trips to that little closet they call a bathroom on the plane. Performing normal body functions within this confined space is challenging enough, but try bending over and heaving out your guts. As if this isn’t challenging enough, try doing it when you’re 6’4″. Bending my lanky frame into a position to accommodate the task at hand was a true lesson in origami.

I suppose I was lucky, however. I never had to wait to use the bathroom (which could have been a disaster) and there was never anyone waiting to use it after I was done. In addition, there was little turbulence and therefore my aim was good. Yes, things could have been much worse, but I survived.

Living with the 3-1-1: Individual Sized Packaging for Travelers

by Neil Woodburn on

This is brilliant. An entire online store that specializes in nothing but individual-sized items.

Instead of packing that whole tube of toothpaste, a giant bottle of shampoo, and a big canister of shaving cream, travelers can now find miniature sizes of hundreds of goods in one convenient location.

Minimus sells tiny packages of most every item one travels with. I always made use of such packaging (when I could find it), to cut down on bulk and weight–especially when backpacking. Now, with the new airline liquid restrictions, tiny packaging is not only convenient, but absolutely necessary for those items we want to carry on.

Fortunately, Minimus offers individual sized packages of medicine, food, drinks, toiletries and more. The one thing I was very disappointed to find missing, however, was small bottles of saline solution for my contacts. Doesn’t anyone sell this? I’m tired of hauling around those big 12 oz. bottles all the time.

Pee Before You Board Your Plane

by Adrienne Wilson on

Tonight I’ll follow in Iva’s foot steps by providing you with news on bowel movements in the world of travel. In case you were still wiping the coal from your eyes when you read that a woman and her flatulence grounded an American Airlines flight headed into Dallas I suggest you go back and re-read the post here. It’s true. It wasn’t that she had uncontrollable gas; it was her trying to cover the malicious odor up by lighting matches. Now what ever gave her the brilliant idea to light matches on planes?

Okay, so now that I’ve got your mind on odors, flatulence and other bodily functions lets talk about peeing on planes. You must be wondering by now what troubles peeing on planes can cause airlines? According to Jaunted, China Southern Airlines is encouraging passengers to take a leak before boarding their flights. Why? Apparently somebody out there had enough time to calculate how much energy is used when you flush and that equals as much as a car driving about six miles. And of course all that flushing is causing tons of energy and money to be wasted when you could have gone before your flight. My question is who thinks of this stuff? Every time I head into a lavatory now I’m going to picture a car driving down a six-mile stretch of some desert like road with yellowish and orange hues of color. Great!

No Lights on Flights

by Iva Skoch on

While we’ve undoubtedly helped to clear the air about odor on planes, maybe some of our readers have taken us too seriously. We reported on the passenger who sued the airline for removing him because of his odor; we’ve told you that most U.S. airlines have an odor policy. And we’ve warned you that your plane might be less than fresh. But after the Richard Reid incident, we’d have thought that everyone knows you can’t light matches on planes.

Not everyone has learned the lesson. The AP reported that a Dallas-bound American Airlines flight that was forced to land in Nashville yesterday after the crew smelled burning sulfur. Some matches had been lit by a female passenger in an attempt to conceal a “body odor,” according to the spokeswoman for Nashville’s airport. All 99 passengers and their bags were screened on the ground, and the flight took off once more, but without that passenger, who was detained and questioned by the FBI (but not charged).