Make your flight (and mine) easier this holiday season

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The holidays are coming, and people will be flying. If you’re one of them, instead of feeling angry and entitled in every line in which you late, make a concerted effort to improve your surroundings. No, I’m not talking about picking up garbage or holding the door for some old lady who will punish you with tales of her grandchildren’s accomplishments. Take small steps to become more efficient. You-and everyone around you-will spend less time in line, and you might just be almost happy with your trip.

Rule #1
If you see someone who looks like he travels regularly, do what he does. If he takes his license out of his wallet before reaching the security line, you should too. Did he just remove his laptop from his bag? Guess what … you’ll probably want to take yours from your bag. You can’t go wrong by copying someone who’s obviously smarter than you are.

Rule #2
Don’t prepare for the security stop when you’ve already bellied up to the X-ray machine. While you’re in line, do the following:

1. Pull your laptop out of your bag (if you have one)
2. Take your ID (license or passport) out of your pocket, bag, etc.; hold it with your boarding pass
3. Empty your pockets into your carry-on; do the same with your watch, cell phone and any heavy jewelry
4. Remove your shoes, and carry them on top of your laptop
5. Repeat #4 with your coat and hatNow, you have a stack of personal belongings on top of your laptop. Carry them like you did your books back in grade school. You can drop the laptop into one bin for the X-ray machine, pick up the clothing and drop them in the next bin. It’s fast. It’s easy. It doesn’t leave you screwing around while people are waiting.

Rule #3
Unless you’re moving, don’t pack like you’re moving. If you can’t carry it, don’t bring it. This is just common sense. Bringing gifts to family members you see rarely? Mail the packages. Hell, with the cost of extra baggage right now, it’s probably cheaper to engage UPS for this anyway.

Rule #4
Eating at the food court instead of home? This makes sense. After all, the long lines force us all to go to the airport earlier … just in case. There are more of us than usual, and we’re all friggin’ hungry. So, why the hell does someone who’s in line for an hour wait, ponder and stutter when placing an order? Next time you’re jammed up at Wendy’s, use those 30 minutes in line to think about what you want. By the time someone asks if you want fries with your burger, you should already know the answer.

Rule #5
Forget every rule of good parenting. Sometimes, you need to let your kid cry to learn a lesson. Here’s the problem: we don’t need to learn that lesson, too. Do what it takes to keep your kid under control. If that means coloring books, candy or … dare I say it … active parenting, do it. Do what it takes. Your round trip involves two days of your kid’s childhood. Whatever you do for the sake of expediency will not make a lasting impression.

Rule #6
Know when to quit. We all love to scream at airline employees, and we know they are lying to us. When they say that weather caused the problem on a sunny day, when they say that there are no more exit row seats, when they say the flight is overbooked … we just know it’s bullshit. So, we fight. Sometimes, it works. Appeasement in the form of flight vouchers, hotel stays and free meals sometimes flow. But, at a certain point, you need to know when to stop. If you’re on a full flight of people with super-triple-platinum status (and you’re not), don’t expect to get a damned thing. Accept that you will lose.

Fighting the good fight is okay, but at a certain point, you lose the crowd’s sympathy. Be aware that people who look like serial killers don’t often get what they want (or need).

You’re more likely to have a safe and happy holiday season if you follow my advice. So, I wish you all the best in the coming weeks, and I encourage you not to be a moron once you pass through those automatic sliding doors. It happens to all of us, but maybe if we all make that genuine attempt not to make airport life worse, we’ll all have a better time.

Is the TSA too rough with your stuff?

by Meg Massie on

While waiting in line, just about everyone bitches and moans about the airport security screening process. But of the over 500 million fliers this year, only 12,000 have filed official complaints with the Transportation Security Administration. The rest of us just air our grievances on our blogs.

The number one complaint this year is that the TSA screeners mishandle personal property. This includes when items get damaged in the screening process, as well as lost and stolen. A TSA spokeswoman insists that the agency takes theft very seriously, and that the “TSA has let officers go who’ve taken 50 cents out of a bowl.” It’s good to know they care — but we’re not impressed with how long it took them to catch one agent who had stolen over $200,000 worth of travelers’ property.

The second largest complaint the agency gets is reports of rude treatment. Most TSA agents I’ve crossed paths with recently have been perfectly friendly, but it just takes one meanie to leave a long lasting bad taste in a traveler’s mouth — and most security lines have at least one meanie, I’ve noticed.

If you have complaints for the TSA, they urge you to share your comments on their official website, www.tsa.gov. You can also call with complaints or fill out comment cards at the airport.

Many inexpensive last minute holiday airfares do exist

by Jamie Rhein on

You’ve probably noticed the stories about how airfares have dropped and air traffic is down. Two weeks ago, I flew from Copenhagen to Columbus on two airplanes that were not full. The Continental flight from Copenhagen to Newark was empty enough that most people had seats between them.

The flight from Newark to Columbus was even more roomy. The row in front of my daughter and me was empty, and we had that hoped for seat between us as well.

With less people flying that means more competition to entice passengers to fly. My mom is heading to New York City for the holidays. This past May, she took the bus because of gas prices and soaring airline costs. Her ticket plane ticket would have cost almost $400 at the time.

She thought about the bus again until last night when I searched for airplane tickets on a whim. There were several options for a $166 airfare when I used the variable date function. Delta and Northwest were the least expensive flights, but the flight she wanted was on Delta to LaGuardia which she prefers over JFK. Flights into Newark, at least the ones I saw, were more expensive.

Not only was she able to score a flight to the airport of choice, she also was able to get flights that are direct and leave at the times she preferred. At first, it looked like she’d have to leave at 6 a.m., but after going to another day of departure, an early afternoon flight to New York appeared. She also wanted to book a return flight later in the day than what originally appeared. Again, further looking found the exact flight out of LaGuardia.

After using Travelocity to find choices, I went directly to Delta’s web site to book the ticket. The amazing detail is that she’s leaving on Monday, just days from booking the ticket. Cheap flights so close to departure used to be unheard of.

So, if you’re thinking of going somewhere for the holidays, look into flying. It may be far less expensive than you thought. These are the days of deals. To find the best ones, look for flights during the week. My mom is flying out on a Monday and back on a Wednesday. In this case, the direct flights were less than the flights that went through another airport. I am amazed.

British Airport Authority told to sell Gatwick, Stansted and Edinburgh airports

by Josh Lew on

England’s British Airports Authority (BAA) was told by the country’s Competition Committee that it has to sell Gatwick, Stansted, and Edinburgh airports. The watchdog group has pointed to a lack of competition as the reason for advising the sales. “Under separate ownership, the airport operators including BAA, will have a much greater incentive to be far more responsive to their customers, both airlines and passengers.”

BAA was bought by Spanish company Ferrovial two years ago. The Competition Committee’s criticism of BAA might look like a bid to bring ownership back to the U.K. However, that is not likely to happen. BAA put Gatwick on the market in August. The top bidders thus far are German and Australian companies. Virgin Atlantic is also trying to organize a consortium of investors to make a bid.

The Scottish airports and Stansted remain in BAA’s hands for now. The organization responded to the watchdog’s report by saying that there was no compelling evidence proving that the airports, especially Stansted, should be sold.

Celebrate the season with an airport karaoke carol. Which is your favorite?

by Jamie Rhein on

Meg isn’t fond of the idea of airport karaoke. I think it’s the best thing since sliced bread, particularly after I heard the NPR radio story about the small karaoke stages at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston. That’s the very karaoke effort that Meg gave a bah humbug review.

By the time I arrived where I was going and had parked my car, the story about the airport karaoke and carol singing had me grinning big time. The story featured some of the singers along with the details of why karaoke has been added to the airport’s offerings.

In the past during the holidays, the airport has featured various local groups singing seasonal ditties. The karaoke is meant to give harried travelers something to do and enjoy while they’re heading home or elsewhere. (See article)

Most carolers weren’t bad. The last one, who belted a rendition of “Santa Baby,” was actually very good. Men and women were crooning in equal measure, although that could be due to the show’s editing.

In a way, this airport karaoke effort is like Improv Everywhere’s Food Court Musical, although it’s real. A real security guard actually belts out holiday cheer. I wonder if there’s any problem getting a person to get off the stage once he or she has been handed a mike?

If I’m passing through Houston, I’m singing “Jingle Bell Rock.” I have some dance moves to go with it. Sorry Meg, although peace and quiet is a good option also.

To listen to the NPR story on All Things Considered, click here.

%Poll-23918%