“Is anyone sitting here?” Five steps to picking up the cute girl (or guy) on your flight

by Aaron Hotfelder on

Let’s face it: there’s not much to do on flights. Once you’ve browsed the absurdities in SkyMall, watched the first ten minutes of the in-flight screening of Norbit, and listened to all your mp3’s three times each– forwards and backwards– you sooner or later find yourself face-to-face with the chair in front of you. What to do?

Well, if you’re an unattached person on the prowl who’s smart enough to plan ahead, you chat up the cute girl or guy sitting next to you. Here are five not-so-easy steps for discovering inflight romance.

1. It all starts at the gate. The single most important choice you can make is where to sit in that mass of chairs at the airport gate. The unthinking person will simply plop down in the first available seat, but the would-be casanova knows better than that. Out of the dozens or even hundreds of passengers waiting to board their flight in this area, you can usually count on two or three to stand out from the rest. In order to have a chance, you’ll most likely need to sit by them and chat them up at the gate. But how?

2. Choose your seat wisely. If she’s the only one in six rows of chairs, walking up and sitting right next to her is just about the creepiest thing you can do. Instead, sit one or two seats down, putting your carry-on items on the seats between you. This keeps anyone from sitting between you two, and also allows her to see just how expensive your luggage is. (Note: Does not work with cheap luggage.)

3. Establish some common ground. Uh-oh, the talking part– but this doesn’t have to be scary. Take out a pack of gum nonchalantly, and offer her a piece. (If I know one thing about women, it’s that they love gum.) Then ask, for example, “So, where are you headed?” or if you have an especially dry sense of humor, “Excuse me, do you know if this is a non-smoking flight?” Please say this line with at least a half-smile, or she will think you’ve been in a coma since 1950. Ask what she’s reading. Tell her you liked that book but there weren’t enough pictures. Again, say this with a slight smile, or she’ll take you for an overgrown nine-year-old.

4. Try to sit near him/her on the flight. If the conversation allows it, ask where she’s sitting on the plane. If the gods are smiling down on you– as they were in a recent flight of mine– you’ll find yourself next to each other. But more often than not, she’s in 12J and you’re in 28A. Not exactly good flirting proximity. So you’ve got to make your own luck. Walk up to the airline counter– asking your new friend to watch your bags– and ask if it’s possible for you to switch seats to sit next to your friend. If the ticket agent says “no,” or “we’ll see,” by all means take that as a yes. Sit in the wrong seat– what’re they gonna do, arrest you?– until someone tells you to move. Yes, this takes a certain amount of guts, but the saying is not, “No guts, glory anyway.”

5. Look through, ugh, Skymall, then set up something for later. Sure, SkyMall contains a bunch of useless crap– though not all Gadling bloggers agree— but I will give the magazine credit for this: it is a great conversation starter. When the conversation eventually hits a lull, as is bound to happen with a complete stranger on a four-hour flight, grab SkyMall from the seat pocket in front of you. From pets to home and garden to sports and everything in between, SkyMall will help you learn more about a person than you ever wanted to know.

If the conversation goes well, mention to her that you’ve got a several hour layover, and wouldn’t it be nice if you could grab dinner or drinks at one of the airport’s “charming and reasonably-priced” establishments? (Note: Referring indirectly to the fact that you’ll be paying will increase her chances of acceptance considerably.)

If she says thanks-but-no-thanks to your date offer, what have you lost? You’ve merely been rejected by someone you’ll never see again, and as a bonus, you’ve made the flight go by a whole lot faster. To paraphrase Einstein, “Sit next to a smelly guy on a plane for ten minutes and it feels like four hours. Sit next to a pretty girl on a plane for four hours and it feels like ten minutes. That’s relativity.”

President Bush acts to minimize Thanksgiving flight delays

by Jeffrey White on

Well, President Bush’s term might be winding down, but don’t think for a second he’s just sitting back and coasting through the next six weeks.

Bush yesterday unveiled a series of measures meant to ease the crowded Thanksgiving holiday rush and cut down on flight delays.

USA Today reports that the president announced he’d ordered the military to open three new flight routes to commercial airlines in Colorado, Arizona and Southern California during the Thanksgiving travel period, and they will open again open additional routes, as they do every year, off the East Coast.

“A lot of our citizens are nervous about travel,” Bush said, as quoted in USA Today. “They are saying, ‘Will traveling home for the holidays be a wonderful life or will it be the nightmare before Christmas?’ “

Bush also wants airlines to file airport-specific plans for how they are going to deal with holiday delays, whatever that means.

Even though he’s a lame duck, critics nevertheless took the opportunity of these announcements by jumping all over him. Labor and consumer groups blasted Bush’s plans as moronic.

“This is a different year, same gift,” said Doug Church, spokesman for the National Air Traffic Controllers Association. “I don’t think there is any relevance to today’s announcement. It’s all for show.”

I guess we’ll wait and see if this has any impact on our travels.

How will your holiday travels go? Do some research with the Holiday Travel Cutback interactive graphic

by Anna Brones on

For me to get home for Thanksgiving, I’m lucky enough to only have to take Amtrak. Even though train stations are popping at the seams with travelers during the November holiday weekend, airports are even worse. And this year is no different.

As a matter of fact, during this year’s Thanksgiving and Christmas travel periods, airlines will operate about 2,500 to 3,000 fewer domestic flights than compared with the same periods in previous years. That means that one way or another, you’re probably going to be affected. To visualize just how your travel plans might be impacted, USA Today’s travel blog Today in the Sky has put together an interactive graphic to show how flight cutbacks by airlines could affect your travel choices.

The graphic can be used to find flight changes for select days from every domestic airport with flights to the following seven hubs: Atlanta, Charlotte, Chicago O’Hare, Dallas/Fort Worth, Denver, Houston (Bush) and Minneapolis-St. Paul. The map is dotted with red and green squares to signify fewer or more flights to the hub, making it pretty simple to see what routes are going to be more problematic. But if you’re lucky, you’ll find that your particular route has that great green box, meaning that you’ll actually be able to take advantage of more flights to get you home for the holidays.

To check out the graphic for yourself, click here.

TSA to Create new Green “Family” Lane

by Grant Martin on

As holiday travel kicks into high gear, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has unveiled another tier to their security line scheme for getting passengers through checkpoints efficiently.

The basic system instilled earlier this year is currently called the “black diamond” self select system, which effectively attempts to separate passengers at the security checkpoint into groups. Those who know what they’re doing, or the experienced travelers move (quickly) through the black diamond line while the casual or inexperienced traveler will move (slower) through a separate blue square line.

Now there is a third group: The Green Circle line is designed for families traveling together and for those with medical liquids over 100mL. Theoretically, I suppose this would also be the slowest.

Note, if you have liquids still adhering to the 3-1-1 rule, you should still go through your regularly scheduled line.

In concept, black diamond self select system is a good idea, stratifying the hurried, experienced traveler away from the casual, relaxed passenger who takes his or her time at the checkpoint. But in practice, does it work? Say you’re a casual traveler, are late for your flight and show up to find that the black diamond line is 1/4 the length of the blue square line. You’re going to go to the short, line, right? Will things equalize out independent of line designation?

For the sake of less mayhem at the security checkpoint, I hope it works out. Stay tuned for some reports from the field.

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Irish airports will offer pre-flight US customs and immigration

by Josh Lew on

Noel Dempsey, the transport minister of Ireland, has announced that he will meet with US Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff next week. The two will sign an agreement that will allow airports in Dublin and Shannon, Ireland to provide US customs screening and immigration checkpoints prior to take-off. This will exponential up the convenience factor and also make Ireland a more viable hub for travelers flying between the US and Europe.

Passengers flying out of Ireland will still have to pass through customs and immigration. But they will be able to do so in Irish airports, where it is bound to be less crowded and hectic. Also, since no further immigration or customs clearance is necessary, planes from Ireland can land in domestic terminals at US airports.

Currently, Dublin and Shannon have US immigration checkpoints for outbound fliers. However, passengers still have to go through customs once they reach the US. The agreement with US Homeland Security will not bring immediate change. Shannon will begin offering full immigration and customs service next summer. Dublin will start the program in 2010.

[Via Airwise]