Is that a police badge or just TSA?

If you want to look official,–like you shouldn’t be pushed around, you need an important looking badge that looks like a police officer’s. That’s the latest idea of TSA. Soon screeners at major national airport checkpoints will have them.

Evidently, without a badge that looks official, some passengers haven’t been minding their manners while going through screening. A badge that looks like a police officer’s says, “I’m an important person. Trifle with me, and you’re toast.”

Well, maybe not that extreme, but at least quit arguing with us or hitting us–whatever it is that drives TSA employees nuts when people are making their way through a screening line.

TSA employees are pleased as punch with their shiny new badges, but police officers are put off by them. The worry is that if TSA officers looks like police officers, people may think TSA employees can do more than screen people and luggage. People may start shouting out, “Arrest that man,” when displeased.

Also, if TSA folks get to wear badges too, than what makes a police badge all that special? There’s one thing I thought of. It says, “Police.”

But perhaps the police do have a point, and the TSA badge does lessen the clout and status of police officers. I’m on the fence. The badge in the picture, by the way, is just a toy.

United Airlines’ 1994 misstep multiplied

The less than stellar reputation of United Airlines doesn’t surprise me. (see article) I decided back in 1994 the airlines wasn’t for me. As missteps go, it wasn’t major, but enough to lose two customers that I like to think have snowballed into the airline’s woes of today. Generally, I’m not spiteful, but If the service back then is any indication of what has transpired since, I’m sympathetic to anyone who has flown United.

My story started with the 12 p.m. flight from Los Angeles to Singapore via Tokyo. I was in a buoyant mood at LAX. I had on a new outfit and we had just finished a wonderful three days with friends in who live in Santa Monica, West Hollywood and Orange. We were heading back to Singapore for our second year as teachers after a summer of travel and regrouping. We were well-rested and fit.

The warm fuzzy feeling began to wane over the Pacific as soon as the pilot announced an engine had failed and we were heading to Alaska, but soon after changed this to San Francisco. I had just finished lunch and the movie had started. Alaska sounded intriguing. San Francisco–not so much. Besides, my mother would soon be getting on a plane in New York on a flight through Frankfurt, Germany to Singapore.

After we stood in line for six hours, getting re-booked on a flight through Hong Kong for the next day, it was clear to me that my mother would be arriving in Singapore before us. Originally, we were to arrive 12 hours before her. Making the best of a bad situation, I phoned a good friend of mine who lived in Livermore close to San Francisco. He was thrilled with the idea of meeting for breakfast.

The bad situation got worse when one of United’s personnel stood up on the ticket counter, waving a toothpaste/toothbrush kit, shouting to the 30 of us left waiting for our hotel vouchers. “There aren’t any hotels left,” he said. “If you want us to put you up, you have to fly back to L.A.”

Say, what? It was 9 p.m. My stomach was rumbling; the food from lunch long gone. “But you have to hurry,” he shouted over the din of protest, pointing us to the direction of the gate where a plane was waiting. The two Polish women who had somehow become separated from their tour group heading for China after the Tokyo transfer, recognized sympathy in our faces and decided we were the ones who knew something. Their English wasn’t the best, so my husband had to explain to them that we weren’t going to Tokyo at this moment, but to LA. The rag-tag group of us clutched our toothbrush kits as we found seats on the last United flight back to L.A.. So far, the kits were our only compensation.

The flight back to L.A. was accompanied by wine–lots of it. The flight attendants walked the aisles pouring from regular sized bottles. The stewardess pressed the remainder of a bottle into my hand before I got off the plane, patted me on the back, and said, “Good luck.”

By that time, my mother was halfway to Frankfurt. The sour woman at United customer service told me that there was no way they could let my mother know at the airport in Singapore where we were. “Great.” I pictured my mom in a country where she hadn’t been before, wondering where we were and unsure of how to find us. If she followed the directions to our apartment, I fretted that she might not find the key where we left it or know how to turn on the air conditioner. Singapore in August is BLAZING hot. There she would be in our living room dripping sweat with no food in the refrigerator wondering when we might show up. These were the days before cell phones.

Back at LAX, we looked for an airport shuttle to take us to the hotel, arriving there 15 minutes before room service ended. The restaurant was already closed. With the $5 phone card, the airline gave us, I started making calls to Singapore to find someone to meet my mom. The assistant principal was home and was more than happy to offer his help. Barely able to down soggy French fries, and a hamburger, I took off my new outfit so it might look halfway fresh in the morning. Our suitcases were who knows where.

The next day, there we were back at the LAX airport for the 12 p.m. flight. Could we get bumped to First Class after all we went through, we wondered? No! Any travel vouchers? No! Eventually, there we were once again flying over the Pacific eating the exact same food we ate the day before–same menu. The movie was also the same. Since I was wearing the same clothes, it felt like the same day, although this time we did make it all the way to Tokyo where we said goodbye to our Polish women friends who didn’t have a clue about when or how they would meet up with the rest of their travel group to China. No one at United was helping them out.

There was my mother and the assistant principal waiting for us at the other side of customs in Singapore.

What was United’s response to the letter I wrote as a complaint? We were each given a $200 voucher, good for any domestic full-fare price over the next year. These were totally not usable given that we were living in Singapore at the time.

The result of the fiasco has meant I haven’t flown United since. Where the airline made its first mistake was not helping me contact my mother–particularly since those of us who flew back to L.A. were not enjoying a hotel in San Francisco with the other passengers and dinner at a reasonable hour. It was the least they could have done. Since that didn’t happen, something else needed to have occurred to sooth our nerves. I can’t imagine what the decision makers were thinking when they sent us back to L.A. and didn’t bump us to First Class at least on the LA to Tokyo leg, even though there was room. These were two easy solutions that would have kept me coming back. Instead, my alliance switched to Northwest and I’ve never looked back.

The photo by Alan Light is a United Airlines flight in 1987. Things sure have changed.

Now where did my jumbo jet go? There it is!

Anyone lose a Boeing 727 lately? I just checked my hangar and all of mine are in stock. Girlfriend check one out? Nope, she’s on the yacht.

Well someone is missing one. Vietnamese officials at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport can’t seem to figure out who left the aircraft at their airport late last year; it’s currently sitting collecting dust at on the tarmac with an outdated order for “essential maintenance”. Nobody has bothered to claim it.

Looking at the aircraft, there is a Cambodian flag on the skin with the name “Air Dream”, but the Vietnamese don’t seem to have any information on the airline — whether that’s a testament to a defunct, outdated airline and aircraft or the failures of the communist bureaucracy, I’m not sure.

Meantime, I have half a nerve to send one of my Vietnamese cousins up with a briefcase full of parking fees and say that the 727 belongs to my family. I’ve been meaning to bedazzle one of my aircraft and park it out on my front lawn in The Hamptons. Maybe Gridskipper will pick up the story.

What strange things have been found on planes?


Click the image to read the bizarre story…

[Thanks to moody75 for the tip]

Dubai: Riskiest place in the world for the unaware traveler

We wrote here on Gadling about Dubai arresting people for having a spec of marijuana on their shoes while transiting through the airport, and then sentencing them to 4-years in Dubai Central Prison.

I’m currently in Dubai and in the 3 days that I’ve been here I’ve heard of 4 stories of acquaintances in jail for having 0.02 grams of hash on them — all that happened at the airport on “Bush Day“.

I don’t know how they manage to sniff out people with 0.02 grams of hash on them. They say that the customs have some high-tech sensors that pick up on it, but there is no security check of consequence on the way out; your hand bag does get screened, but that’s after passport control and there isn’t any walk-through detector.

There’s a lead story in today’s Guardian that talks about the same and how Dubai has the longest list of banned substances, possession of which leads to imprisonment. The list includes: codeine, poppy seeds and many well-known anti-depressants.
Actually, in theory, people traveling through Dubai who have consumed drugs in another city if stopped and questioned can be asked to give a urine sample for a drug test. If the test is positive, the person can still go to jail. This happened to a close friend of mine who went to Goa on holiday and got stoned every night. They picked him up on a random advertising agency drug raid a few years ago, and he was sentenced to 4 years.

I flew here on a resident visa and because of these nonsensical laws, I was paranoid that in the blood test I have to do to validate my resident visa, they might see traces of marijuana that I might’ve inhaled passively in some of Madrid’s bars. However, looks like they don’t test for drugs in this case.

I understand that Dubai wants to be 100% drug-free but some of the arrests they are making are just ridiculous. I could have been walking in Amsterdam before I got onto my flight to Dubai, and a spec of some illegal substance could have remained on my shoe — that would give me 4 years of jail in Dubai. Come on! Besides, you can’t do anything with a spec of any drug!

By implementing such strict laws, the Dubai authorities have definitely scared tourists and residents alike, but I think they need to be more realistic and reasonable about the arrests they make and the subsequent sentences.

Canceled flight equals missed meeting after hours of waiting

Checking a flight schedule the night before a flight and finding out it’s a go doesn’t mean it’s a go–not if you happen to be going on United Airlines from Columbus to Chicago. At least, not if you are the person I met yesterday at the Inn at Cedar Falls in Hocking Hills, Ohio. I was able to meet him because he was not at the business meeting that he was scheduled to attend.

Friday night, he checked his flight status. Everything was fine. He checked the status again before he left for the airport the next morning. The flight was still fine. At the airport, two hours later, he found out after the drive from Hocking Hills, that the flight was canceled, and he was rebooked on a flight for an hour after that. Then, that flight was delayed because of some plane trouble. It was unclear how long he would have to wait. As he sat in the Columbus airport waiting and waiting, the business meeting started and he decided not to go after all. What was the point?

United extended his ticket so he can go to Chicago another time. He doesn’t necessarily want to go to Chicago another time. I forgot to tell him that Chicago is one of the top 10 summer destinations which might have changed his mind.

During this conversation, as the details unfolded, people were tsk tsking over the state of the airlines.

I’m thinking that in the future, more and more business meetings will be held in cyberspace as the airlines struggle to deliver service. If people can talk to each other in video conference calls, why hassle with trying to meet in person for a meeting, unless it’s crucial?