TSA Website Estimates length of Security Line at your Local Airport

If you’re one of those gate runners who is always sprinting frantically to catch your flight here in the United States, you may want to spend a moment over at the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) website.

Although the TSA are the ones who are usually holding us up in long security lines, they are also the ones who have a pretty good idea how long it takes to get through theses very lines.

Since security wait times vary drastically depending upon how many knuckle heads in front of you are packing prohibited liquids, the folks at TSA have nicely organized average wait times according to airport, terminal, day of week, and time of day. Simply find your departure airport, plug in your time, and a list of average wait times based upon the prior four weeks of activity will pop up.

Now you can get to the airport just a little bit later and still make your flight–although I wouldn’t advise it.

Band on the Run: Trippin’ in O’Hare Airport


Ember Swift, Canadian musician and touring performer, will be keeping us up-to-date on what it’s like to tour a band throughout North America. Having just arrived back from Beijing where she spent three months (check out her “Canadian in Beijing” series), she offers a musician’s perspective on road life. Enjoy!

One of the big things that travellers often worry about is how to stay in shape while going from plane to highway back to airport to waiting room to plane to highway, etc. There’s a lot of sitting involved in travelling, especially when you’re going long distances, and sometimes it feels to me (someone who likes to run as my choice of exercise) that I am completely sedentary and blob-like for far too long.

Unless, of course, I am routed through O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, IL.

I’ve heard that this is the largest airport in North America in terms of square footage, but I’m having trouble supporting that with any source. Has anyone else ever heard that? I did learn that it is the second busiest airport in the U.S. and the second busiest in the world with over 76 million travellers through the airport in the year 2006. (source) Because so many flights come in and out of Chicago, there seems to be no logical reason for the placement of connections. They’re sometimes a full half-hour walk away and with delays, inclement weather and general O’Hare confusion, it’s not uncommon to miss one’s connection at this airport.

Even if you’re a runner.

This must be the largest airport in North America because I think I have walked the whole thing several times and I’ve had the blisters to prove it. I know now that being routed through Chicago will cure the “feeling-like-a-blob” blues. Especially today, when I had ten minutes to make it between terminal B and terminal C and had to basically run and walk at the same time while dragging my luggage and fellow travellers behind me.

There’s a causeway between these two terminals that amuses me. It’s designed like an eighties nightclub with neon tube lighting zigzagging across the ceiling and overall dim lighting in the tunnel to enhance their dance. They flip on and off like they’re on a slow strobe and the adjoining mirrors give the impression that there are even more lights going on than there are.

I know this is the airport’s attempt to install art in between the monotonous transfer between flights, but little did they know that they not only gave us a visual experience here, but they gave us a temporary exit from reality; an experiential gateway into what feels like another dimension.

An essential partner to this installation is the moving sidewalk that is installed here – two lengths of it – and perhaps you know what I’m talking about when I call these devices “trippy.” By this, I mean that it sometimes feels like I’m in another state of consciousness when I’m on them, especially if I’m also walking down them (not just letting them carry me) like I was doing today in my attempt to make the connecting flight. It is dream-like, as though you’re part floating and walking while also being swept across the floor towards the other end the way a camera zooms in and takes your eye with it without your consent.

Just head towards the light.

So put them together with the neon lights and it’s even more trippy. It suddenly makes me feel as though I’m under the influence of a reality-shifting drug and squashed into an all-ages travellers’ nightclub at which carry-on luggage is mandatory fashion. It was all I could do to stay focused and keep walking today without letting myself get lost in the colours.

I made it out the other side without disappearing into the illusion of it all, I’m proud to say. And, I also made my connection. The flight attendants with their colourful leis and big smiles had held the plane for the various delays that had already rippled their way across the entire airport. Our flight left about forty-five minutes after the schedule departure time, so I’m hoping that they also found the time to put our luggage on the same plane as our bodies. I guess we’ll find out when we land.

Maui, here I come.

I once had to stay overnight in Chicago because the President of your country down there had decided to spontaneously come to Chicago that day. This, of course, delayed all the flights (for security reasons) and made hundreds of people miss their connections. In fact, this was the information that we received from the Canadian aircraft that we were flying on because they had to delay their landing and do an extra loop around the city.

When we arrived at O’Hare, they told us that the delay was as a result of “inclement weather.” When I told these conflicting explanations to my friend in Chicago (who I phoned during my long attempt to find an alternative means home before giving up and heading for a hotel), she said: “The weather was perfect today here! And, yeah, the president was here too. They’re all such liars. They lie as easily about bombs as they do about the weather. What a joke!” I just sighed and didn’t feel any less helpless in the circumstance. I simply became part of a herd of discontented people forced to pay overpriced hotel fees and grumble under our breath about injustice.

(I did have some of the best vegan pizza that night that I’ve ever eaten. So, it wasn’t all that bad.)

Before the hotel decision, however, we had walked the whole of O’Hare airport being told to try various flights for openings to get us back to Canada. I believe that day that we walked a total of ten kilometres.

I think it was after that experience that I invested in carry-on luggage with wheels.

After O’Hare, I’m always happy to sit down again. Even if it’s in a plane while squashed into economy seating.

Now if only they could improve the lighting in the actual cabin. I’d love an optical illusion or two for such a long flight. I have many hours to go now.

Hawaii. Ten hours. Too much perfume. No vegetarian fare.

Where’s the flashing neon when you need it?

Using Technology to Improve Airports

The Airport of Tomorrow isn’t coming fast enough.

Unlike most everything else in life, airports have actually gotten worse in today’s modern age. All the technology has only managed to slow things down and raise stress levels.

Things have got to get better, however.

According to Michael Dumiak writing for Fast Company, Siemens is working hard to make this happen.

Dumiak highlights how the German company is trying to perfect a luggage distribution system as well as the fickle science of biometrics. Both of these concepts have been kicked around for a long time now. What I found most fascinating in Dumiak’s article, however, had to do with parking and check-in.

Apparently the 15,000 space garage at the Munich airport has an automated system that is able to locate the nearest free spot and provide directions to it through a series of LED screens. No more circling around for hours while your plane is getting ready to take off.

Dumiak also reveals that Lufthansa, KLM, and SAS are looking into a Siemens mobile application that will allow passengers to download a ticket’s bar code onto their phone and then swipe it through a scanner when boarding the plane. The application will also allow users to purchase tickets, change seats, and make other arrangements on the phone itself rather than a website or with a customer service rep. Expect some serious TSA red tape before this service ever arrives in America, however.

Bangkok Airport Video

This comes to us from a friend who runs one of my favorite sites on the Web: Newyorkology. Amy Langfield sent us a link to a video as soothing as it is bizarre.

The shots here, slow-mo and grainy, but oddly compelling, were made in Bangkok Suvarnabhumi International Airport in Thailand at 4 am. I’m sure the new-agey music has something to do with it, but I had a hard time pulling my eyes away from this.

Fly SMINTair: Smokers International Airline

Last year we reported on a new airline trying to take to the skies called SMINTair. Everyone knows that for an airline to succeed nowadays they need to have some sort of angle: budget, luxury, high-tech, or in the case of SMINTair: cigarette smoke.

Aside from offering to “treat its passengers like the guest of an international Grand Hotel,” SMINTair will allow all paying customers to suck on a smooth, refreshing boomstick while en route to their destination. “Can you imagine the air in that plane after 12 hours? And your bloodshot eyes and stinky clothes?” Neil wrote in our earlier coverage. Turns out SMINTair has already thought of this.

“Non-smokers will find the cabin air more refreshing than on any other flight with any other airline, as SMINTAIR adds fresh outside air to the conditioning system!” their website reads. Not all is peachy, however. “This is more expensive, as it burns more fuel, but it is seen as an additional service to our guests.”

Now they’ve got the anti-smoking advocates and the environmentalists on their back. Not a good move. But according to Globorati, the airline “has now scored daily slots at Dusseldorf airport,” which means, I guess, that they’re at least one step closer to actually flying.