Galley Gossip: A question about packing (it’s all about the shoes!)

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Love your blog and your web site! I laugh all the time. I usually only fly once a year for a cruise, but when I do I always see people doing what you write about and I laugh. I also try to remember to do and not do what you write about. I’ve never had a bad experience with flight staff or any flight for that matter. I’m about to go on vacation and I do have a question about luggage. With all the restrictions on checked luggage, I’m trying to make the most of my carry on bags. I’ve called the airline and they refer my questions to TSA and TSA refers me to the web site or the airline (talk about run around), but some answers are not on TSA or the airline’s web site. For instance – can hair dryers, flat irons and travel irons go in your carry on? My usual carry on fits nicely in the overhead compartment, but how big of a bag can I fit under the seat? (I’ll be on a Continental 757-200 and 737-900 ) Trying to keep the weight of my checked bag down, I would like to use a bigger under the seat bag for shoes and such. The 3-1-1 rule is that per person or per carry on? I try to book a hotel near shopping so I don’t have to transport toiletries, etc. but I also hate packing that stuff in my checked bag for fear they would leak (I wrap them well and seal them in zip locks and cosmetic bags but you just never know). Any information you can give me would be helpful. Thanks and keep up the great blogging. I love it.
Debbie

Dear Debbie,

First of all, I’m glad to hear you like my blog. I’m even happier to hear you’ve never had a problem with a flight staff or on any flight for that matter. You’re one of the few.

Hair dryers, flat irons and travel irons can go inside your carry on luggage. Though I must ask why you are hauling a travel iron along with you on a trip? Do you really want to lug that thing around and then spend your precious time ironing on vacation when you could be relaxing on vacation – in wrinkle free clothes? Isn’t that what vacation is for? Relaxing. Not ironing. Personally, I’d rather not iron, and that’s why I wear the navy blue polyester dress when I’m working. However, whenever I do bring along something that must be ironed, I just hang it up in the shower and let the steam take care of the wrinkles. Now if you must take the iron with you, I guess I should tell you about a pilot I know who sprays his uniform shirts with starch before packing them inside his suitcase. He said it works.

I’m sorry to hear you’re getting the run around from the airline and TSA, but my guess is TSA is telling you to go to the airline website because every airline is different and has their own set of rules about how much luggage you can bring on-board and what it will cost to check each piece of luggage. I bet the airline is sending you to the TSA website because their rules are different from the airlines rules in regards to what you can and can not take through airport security. Me, I’d play it safe and leave the liquids at home, like you said, check one bag (if it’s too large to bring onboard with you) and take a smaller bag on the airplane.

Because you sound concerned about your bag fitting under your seat, it sounds like your bag may be a wee bit big. Just so you know, my crew tote-bag doesn’t always fit under the seat in front of me. It all depends on the airplane and how much I’ve managed to stuff inside my tote. While most of the time my bag does fit under the seat without a problem, I have had an issue on the 737, but all I had to do was take out a few books, the big bottle of water I had bought in the airport terminal after I passed through security (don’t forget to purchase yours!), turn my bag on its side and give it a good shove. Whatever you do, do not over pack and make sure that the bag going under the seat in front of you is squishable.

Packing for a long trip isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard, either. The tricky part, if you’re a woman, is figuring out which shoes you’re going to take with you, because when you’re a woman it’s all about the shoes. Am I wrong? Shoes take up too much space in the bag. That’s why I’m going to tell you to leave all those shoes you’ve packed in your smaller bag at home. I mean do you really need all of them?

Now I’m not the most fashionable person on vacation, but I do manage to have a good time and look okay doing so. The key is picking out only two pairs of shoes (a nice pair and a walking pair) to take with you and then coordinating all your outfits around them. If you’re smart you’ll be able to wear both pairs of shoes with most of your outfits. Whenever I’m going on a long trip, I pack two pairs of nice pants and two pairs of jeans (or cargo pants). When it comes to my shirts I always stick with basic colors – black, white and maybe even brown. That way I’m able to mix and match all my pieces which creates even more outfits. I use colorful accessories to dress it up or down.

See that photo over there on the right? Those are my shoes. That’s what I wore in Italy – a beat up pair of slip on canvas shoes and a pair of black boots. I made sure to wear the boots whenever traveling because my walking shoes took up less space in my bag. (Shove a few pairs of socks inside the shoes to save even more room.) Of course I packed everything for my ten day trip to Italy inside my crew luggage – a rollaboard and a tote-bag -that’s it. No need to check bags. Don’t forget, less bags equals less stress. You want to have fun, right?

The only reason I was able to make it through those ten days in Italy with only one suitcase and a tote-bag was because I rolled my clothes tightly, which resulted in me being able to pack even more clothing, I found a laundromat in Venice, which allowed me to get to know the locals and feel like a true Venetian, and I only took two pairs of shoes, which made it possible for me to get it all in one rolling bag, which is why I was able to swing my tote over my shoulder and carry that one very heavy bag up the Spanish Steps in Rome as if I were super woman in black boots.

A word of advice; If you can’t carry it (or lift it) by yourself, don’t pack it, don’t take it, otherwise you may not enjoy your trip. I had to learn that the hard way.

Hope that helps, Debbie. Enjoy your cruise! And make sure to take me with you next time.

Heather Poole

Have a question? Email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com

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Galley Gossip: My Bollywood Valentine’s Day

by Heather Poole on

There we were, the husband and I, standing up in a dark movie theater with a huge smile across our faces. We had gone to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire and were just about to leave, but when the credits began rolling the Bollywood dancers started to move their bodies in sync.

“Wait, I want to see this!” my husband exclaimed as I began to walk up the aisle.

“Really?” I asked, even though I already knew his response would be, yes, really! What I didn’t want to see was my husband doing those same Bollywood dance moves later that night. He can’t help himself. That’s why I love him.

As I stood there watching the dancers perform the “go away” dance move, as my husband calls it, a move that requires one hand to flutter from the front of the face to the back of the head, I immediately flashed back to another time in my life, back to the days when I was single and used to work the New York – San Jose route.

Why would an amazing film like Slumdog Millionaire remind me of a San Jose trip? Because we used to layover in Fremont, California – not San Jose, California. It was cheaper, I guess. Have you ever been to Fremont? Let’s just say I spent many layovers eating wonderful curries, drinking delicious chai tea, and checking out the local video store for a Bollywood movie I once worked on eight years ago called Mehbooba starring Sanjay Dutt, a movie I never did find.

Oh yes, that’s right, yours truly is not only a mother / flight attendant / writer, but also a not so famous ex Bollywood actress. In the movie Mehbooba, a film that was shot in New York City and other amazing places around the world, I’m just an extra. I’m the girl wearing the red dress on the boat, which is actually the same boat that was used in the movie The Mosquito Coast starring Harrison Ford. While I lounged on the wooden deck, Sanjay Dutt actually kissed me on the cheek. I do hope they didn’t cut that part out.

For the record, Mehbooba means my beloved. My husband actually had it engraved on my wedding band. Only he spelled it wrong – Mehabooba. Just a random fact about me.

Another random fact about me, I don’t like Valentine’s Day. There’s just to much pressure to have fun and fall in love and spend too much money doing so – just to be let down in the end.

My dislike for Valentine’s Day began in elementary school. That’s where, each year, I was forced to decorate a tissue box with construction paper in shades of red, pink and white on the day of love. A person can’t help but get excited about what they’re going to find in their box at the end of the day, even if that person is only ten years old! Of course my box never overflowed with hearts and candy the way those of my classmates did.

Then, years later, I gave my college boyfriend a special gift. I don’t remember what it was, but what I do remember is what he gave me. Nothing. He was too busy breaking up with me – not just once, but twice, on two different Valentine’s Days! What can I say, some people just have to be slapped in the face with rejection!

After college I dated an engineer who wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day the day after – on the 15th. Or the 13th would’ve worked, too. “It’s cheaper that way,” he’d said matter of fact. Of course now that I’m older and wiser I see the logic in that, but back then it only made me hate the day even more.

Though I do have many bad memories, there was one Valentine’s Day I did actually enjoy. It happened in Fremont, California of all places. And it may even have to go down as one of the most fun nights of my life. My date that night at the Bollywood disco after a scrumptious dinner at an Indian buffet was Katherine, the flight attendant working in first class with me that month of February in 2001.

I had just planned on having another not so great Valentine’s Day, which is why I had opted to work that day, but Katherine decided to take matters into her own hands. She started asking passengers if they could fix us up with someone – anyone! Who lived in Fremont. You have to understand that Katherine was the kind of person who could say anything and get away with it. I think the British accent had a lot to do with that. While we did make quite a few of our passengers laugh, we never did get set up, and eventually found ourselves alone drinking chai tea as we celebrated together in a coffee shop across the street from our Fremont layover hotel.

“Why don’t you two come along with me!” said the owner of the shop. He’d been eavesdropping in on our conversation. “Just pay me gas money.”

So that’s what we did. We paid our new friend gas money and he took us to a private party not too far away. Katherine and I danced the night away to music we’d never heard before, nor have I heard since, and we learned dance moves that only my husband could appreciate. Of course back then he wasn’t around to appreciate them. No one was. Just Katherine.

On the flight back to New York Katherine stood in the first class galley wearing her pin striped apron and looked me square in the eye, and said, and she said this very seriously, “Heather, you were the best date I’ve ever had.”

Of couse I felt the same way about her. The sad thing is I never did see my special Valentine’s date again after that wonderful month working together. I heard Katherine quit flying shortly after 9/11. A lot of flight attendants did.

So now that I’m married to a wonderful man who has spectacular dance moves of his own, a passenger I actually met on a flight from New York to Los Angeles just a few months after 9/11, and now that we have a beautiful two year-old son who travels so often he calls his belt a seatbelt and prefers to keep it fastened at all times, things have changed for the better. Valentine’s Day is no longer about me. It’s about us.

This year the three of us will be celebrating together at home. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I do know that mommy and daddy will be spending a romantic evening out alone on the 12th instead of the 14th this year. You better believe my husband will be getting a copy of the Slumdog Millionaire CD, as well as the just released Mehbooba DVD! Yes, it took eight years, but it’s out, the movie is finally out, and my poor husband will be forced to watch it!

Photos courtesy of (Bollywood dancers) Fikirbaz (Mehbooba) the official Mehbooba website (Valentine’s box) Msabcmom

Galley Gossip: A question about why flight attendants are fat, old, grumpy, lazy and ugly

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Here’s another you hate to hear but I will say it anyway… Why is it that US domestic flight attendants are so much more fat, grumpy, lazy and uglier than their foreign counterparts? They are ALL drop dead gorgeous, smile and don’t ask me for any money when I fly with them. Why is that?

Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

Why am I not surprised that a question like this is coming from a person addressing himself as Big Daddy? Why is it that I shake my head as I read this question and wonder just how big Big Daddy is and whether or not Big Daddy is fatter, grumpier, lazier, or uglier than his foreign counterparts? Does Big Daddy not realize that flight attendants are people, too, and that a flight attendant has every right to grow older and get a little fatter and uglier as the years go by, and that a flight attendant can remain a flight attendant as long as he/she can perform the job? Doesn’t big Daddy realize that flight attendants are allowed the same rights as passengers?

Perhaps Big Daddy doesn’t know that the flight attendants working the US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson River last month were all senior flight attendants in their 50’s. Does Big Daddy honestly believe that all of the passengers who were evacuated safely off that flight and onto the wings and into the slide / rafts in freezing temperature really cared whether or not their flight attendants had hips a tad bit bigger, or a belly slightly larger, or faces not quite as pretty as their foreign counterparts? What is it, Big Daddy, that brings out such backwards thinking in people? And what will become of our foreign counterparts when they, too, get older and fatter and uglier, Big Daddy?

Just a couple questions, Big Daddy – are you married? Do you have children? Run with a good group of friends? If so, do you judge them as lesser than if they’re fatter and older than their foreign counterparts? So why are flight attendants any different?

As far as only experiencing grumpy flight attendants on board your flights, I only know what I know, and what I know is I always try to be kind and friendly with my passengers, always making small talk while serving drinks and doing whatever I can with what little is provided. Most of my passengers deplane with a smile on their face. I say most, not all, because one person can only do so much for 160 passengers (or more).

As far as lazy flight attendants go, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do in this day and age of travel besides offer a drink and apologize because we don’t have this and we don’t have that to a full flight of miserably cramped passengers. I’m sorry the airlines have had to drastically change due to the weak economy. I’m sorry that I have to constantly say I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you feel the level of service and the looks of your attendant are inferior. I’m sorry, always sorry.

But at a time when companies are going under, my airline is still flying strong. I’m proud of that. Even if that means I have to ask you to pay for your headset, alcoholic beverage and snack. At a time when companies are cutting back, my airline has yet to lay off within the last few years. I’m proud of that. Even if that means there are no more pillows and peanuts and the average age of a flight attendant is forty years-old due to the fact that we haven’t hired in years.

If all that matters to you, Big Daddy, when choosing an airline is a gorgeous flight attendant who smiles and doesn’t ask you for money, than yes, our foreign counterparts are by far superior. I hope that answered your question. If you have another question email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com.

Happy travels,

Heather Poole

Photos courtesy of (black and white flight attendant) Alexindigo, (flight attendants) praziquantel – flickr

Galley Gossip: 10 things a flight attendant does on reserve

by Heather Poole on

1. Complain about being on reserve to any flight attendant who will listen. There’s nothing worse for a flight attendant than being on reserve. Don’t believe me? Ask a flight attendant on reserve. Go ahead, ask, I dare you. Just don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

2. Sit in PJ’s half the day waiting for crew schedule to call. Some days it’s half a day and other days it’s all day. When my number is low, meaning there’s a good chance crew schedule is going to call me out to cover a trip, I’ve been known to change out of my PJ’s and into a fresh pair of PJ’s at the end of the day.

3. Calls in sick. While I don’t call in sick on reserve, however tempting it may be (I’m too scared), I can’t say the same for most other flight attendants. A few flight attendants I know actually save medical and dental procedures during reserve months.

4. Sock and underwear drawer get a complete makeover. This month I actually did clean out my sock and underwear drawer, as well as the closet. I found clothing I never even knew I had, clothing I wondered why, exactly, I had, like an animal print sundress I bought on the streets of Costa Rica nine years ago. And to think I actually wore it.

5. Work trips I would never fly in a million years. Flight attendants have a tendency to work the same trips over and over. That’s what seniority is all about. You better believe I like working in coach from New York to whichever west coast city layover I can hold on the 767. But on reserve you’ll most likely find me on the Super80 working a turn in first from New York – Chicago. Nothing against Chicago, but an eight hour day ain’t worth five hours pay.

6. Spend time explaining to everyone that I’m not off, that I really am working, I’m just on call. Which is why I’m still in my PJ’s and not leaving the house. Just because I’m not actually on the airplane doesn’t mean I can have a life.

7. Watch the Weather Channel. When there’s bad weather, crews go illegal, and when crews go illegal, reserve flight attendants get called out to cover their trips. I watch the Weather Channel in order to figure out what crew schedule is going to do, so I know whether or not I’ll get a good night sleep and whether or not I dare get dressed and leave the apartment in the morning.

8. Sit on the sofa with the laptop and drinking coffee while bouncing between Gadling, Facebook and the flight service website to check open time and relative position for hours on end. What else am I going to do? I’m stuck.

9. Gets a trip and then goes into flight operations and asks every flight attendant how many hours they have on reserve. The last time I checked Grace had 40 hours. My mom had 42. Flo had 45. I had 47. I won – er, lost!

10. Look forward to days off. Thank goodness they’re finally here and reserve is officially over! It’s back to the 767 for me.

Photos courtesy of (pj’s) Jamelch, (weather channel) Dave Malkoff – flickr.com

Galley Gossip: Lindsay Lohan throws a fit when she’s denied a first class seat!

by Heather Poole on

Lindsay Lohan caused “chaos” at the airport in Tampa, Florida on Saturday morning when she was denied a first class seat on an overbooked flight, reports The Huffington Post. Chaos, their word, not mine, is a word that makes me wonder, just what kind of chaos could little old Lindsay create at the airport surrounded by hundreds of passengers?

Do they mean that she stood hovering over the ticket agent until the agent solved her problem, not allowing other passengers to check in? I see passengers do that all the time. Do they mean that she got upset when she didn’t get a seat in the cabin she bought a ticket in? Well she spent a lot of money on that ticket! Wouldn’t you get upset if you purchased something you did not receieve? Why should Lindsay be judged more harshly than we judge each other just because she’s a celebrity?

Trust me when I tell you that quite a few passengers, and I’m talking about the non-celebrity kind, complain about things that are even more ridiculous than not getting the first class seat they bought. A few months ago a passenger threw a fit because he was seated in the last row of coach. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a good seat, but SOMEONE has to sit there, maybe even you. I mean why not you? Am I wrong?

Was Lindsay wrong when she stomped her feet and told a friend traveling with her that they better come back to coach and visit her in case she dies?

You do see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Passengers can be a bit melodramtic, even celebrity passengers, when they walk on board a flight and things don’t go their way. Does that mean we have the right to criticize? I don’t know, you decide.

Maybe Lindsay behaved a little childish. Then again, maybe not. Lindsay is a celebrity and people do hound celebrities. A few years ago I had to practically stand between first class and coach the entire flight to keep passengers from bothering Magic Johnson, who, I must say, was one of the nicest passengers (celebrity or not) I’ve ever met. And last week I saw Toni Collette run through the John F. Kennedy airport holding Sage, her beautiful baby girl. The only reason I recognized her was because of the swarm of paparazzi following fast behind her to the first class check-in counter. Then a few days later I saw Jeff Goldblum placing a backpack on the conveyor belt and walking in striped socks through the security check point at the Los Angeles International Airport. The only reason I noticed him was because of all the flash bulbs going off behind me and passengers pointing their cell phones at him – click click! People have a thing for celebrities. And I’ll admit I’m one of them.

Remember that passenger I mentioned above, the one who didn’t want to sit in the last row, he also stomped his feet and threw a fit, and then he demanded that I find another passenger to sit in his seat, that I move him up to the front of the aircraft, but only an aisle seat would do! No one was swarming him. In fact, just the opposite was happening aboard that flight.

“But Sir,” I said, glancing around the cabin at all the passengers sitting in front of him who were shaking their heads no at me. “The flight is full. I can’t make someone sit in your seat just because you don’t want to sit there.”

“You’re a professional, do your job!” he demanded.

Even though we are professionals, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do on a full flight. If I have time, meaning I am not busy doing my inflight duties that need to be done before the aircraft can back away from the gate, I will ask people if they’re willing to move, but I can not make anyone move. Oh I’ll do my best, especially if children are involved, but you can’t get picky when it comes to the seat.

Now my question to Linds is why didn’t her friend in first class switch seats with her? I bet if she’d arrived to the airport and checked in a little bit earlier, she wouldn’t have had this problem. Then again, I wasn’t there and I do not know all the details. Who knows what really happened that day?

What I do know is eventually Lindsay was moved up to first class. I’m glad that she got her seat. She paid for it. She deserved it. Anyway, It’s not that she doesn’t want to sit in coach, or that coach is beneath her, it’s just who wants to be surrounded by 200 passengers analyzing her every move, like the Huffington Post did? Like we’re doing right now. That’s why I’m siding with Lindsay on this one!

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Photo courtesy of (Lindsay Lohan) The Curse of Brian, (Magic Johnson) Malingering – flickr.com

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