Galley Gossip: Lost in first class

by Heather Poole on

It was dark in the cabin, the seat belt sign was on, passengers were watching the in-flight movie, and we, the crew, stood in the coach galley talking about…oh I don’t remember, but I do remember we were flying from Los Angeles to New York and it had been an uneventful flight. Which was nice for a change. I had been just about to remark on the nice flight when the flight attendant working in the first class galley called us in the back.

I answered the phone, “This is Heather.”

An exasperated voice asked, “Is he back there?”

“Yeah, he’s here, hold on.” I shrugged my shoulders and handed the phone to the one in charge, a tall, tough-looking guy with a goatee. Don’t let the looks fool you. He’s really sweet and mushy inside.

“What!” he exclaimed, holding the phone to his ear. He rolled his eyes. “There’s a child lost in first class,” he said, and that’s all he said, hanging up the phone and making his way up the aisle to sort the matter out.

Of course the first thing that went through my mind was a visual of a very young child running through the first class cabin causing a ruckus. I figured the parents were asleep in coach and totally oblivious to the child’s whereabouts. I mean what else could it be?

Once while deadheading on a flight years ago, I felt something strange moving between my ankles. When I looked down, I gasped. Oh my. There on the floor crawled an infant – right out from underneath my seat! I picked up the baby, cradled her in my arms, and turned around. Behind me slept a young lady. I spotted what looked like a diaper bag lying on the seat beside her.

“Excuse me,” I said, tapping her on the bony shoulder. I held out the infant. “Is this yours?”

She nodded, took the baby into her own arms, leaned her head against the side wall, and closed her eyes.

Leesa, a Gadling reader (and soon to be flight attendant), wrote and told me about her experience with not just a lost child, but a child traveling with a parent who might as well have been lost, considering he knew no boundaries, another common occurrence on flights these days…

Once last year while on a Qantas flight back to the US from SYD, we were lucky enough to have one of the exit rows on a 747 where you have like 6 feet of wonderful leg room. Ahhhh, so nice. Anyhow, this man had his 2 year old screaming child for 2 hours dancing and singing right in front of us – in OUR leg room. Of course the crew was busy working so we were given an up close and rather unwanted performance RIGHT in our very coveted leg space!!! Hey, we booked early for those seats!!! The nerve!

I know this might be hard for some of you to believe, but no one wants to play with your child. So please do not assume that just because your little bundle of joy is adorable and smart that we all want to share our space with him or her. Nor does anyone want to watch your child making laps around the airplane. Now I’m not talking about walking up and down the aisle doing the bouncy bounce to make baby stop crying, or the quick lap around to get the blood flowing (just make sure the seat belt sign is not on), I’m talking about the trek from coach, through business class, all the way up to first class, and around again. People pay big money for those premium class seats and they do not want to be disturbed by you or your adorable little monster, which is why when the flight attendant in charge got the call, I assumed – we all assumed – there was just another child making the rounds.

Hey, it happens. But it’s our job to keep it from happening.

Unfortunately, in this case, there was nothing to stop from happening, because the child turned out to be a teenager, a very well mannered one, and the teenager happened to be looking for her father who was supposed to be sitting in first class while the rest of the family sat in coach. His empty seat had apparently been unoccupied the entire flight. No one had noticed. Immediately the purser grabbed the paperwork and sure enough, we really were missing a passenger in first class, and we were three hours into the flight.

Turns out the father had decided to run and get something to read at the bookstore prior to departure while the rest of the family boarded the aircraft and took their seats in main cabin. Because they were in coach and he was (supposed to be) in first class, they had no idea he never made it back in time. Can you imagine his face when he got to the gate and found the plane, along with his family, had departed to New York without him?

Which brings me to the lesson of the day. Passengers, do be on time! The airplane will not wait for you, even when you’re seated in first class. Flight attendants, do not assume anything, especially when it comes to passengers. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something new happens.

Photos courtesy of (little girl) artolog (first class seat) Richard Moross

Galley Gossip: A question about turbulence and being scared at work

by Heather Poole on

H i Heather,

Are you ever afraid to fly? Or were you in the beginning of your career? I have recently been invited to training for a FA position with a major airline. It has been a dream of mine my whole life! I am so excited….however….sometimes I am nervous to fly! I fly A LOT. Usually a few times a month. Sometimes I am perfectly fine, and other times I am nervous. I’m worried about this and wondering if you ever felt this way?

I was on a flight last month from MCI to SMF with a stop in DEN and within about 3 minutes of take off we hit severe turbulence. I have never felt turbulence that strong before and neither had my husband who also flies at least once a week. We had the whole zero gravity thing going on, the plane was actually rolling from side to side and I’m positive that if someone hadn’t had their seat belt on they would have hit the ceiling. I mean, it was pretty darn scary! After we reached altitude and smoothed out I went to the back and talked to the flight attendants. One of them told me that it was probably one of the roughest take offs she had ever experienced. I know it’s not common but I was terrified!

Well, thanks for any advice. I WANT to do this, I just want to make sure that I’m not going to be scared at work everyday!

Leesa

Leesa,

Congratulations on getting hired with a major airline! Flight attendant training is not easy. A lot of information will be thrown at you all at once. There will be late nights, early mornings, and lots of caffeine, but whatever you do, don’t get tired and quit! It’s going to be the longest seven and a half weeks of your life, but you’ll be glad you did it when those silver wings are pinned to your blue lapel.

As far as turbulence at work goes, the only way you’re going to know if you’ll be scared or not is to go to work and test it out. If you are scared, I’d give it a few months, or as long as I could take it, just to see if flying is something I could get used to. Worst case scenario is you’ll have to quit. So what. At least you gave it a shot, gained an amazing experience, and won’t spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you’d given it a shot. Being a flight attendant is a great job, but it’s not for everyone.

Thankfully severe turbulence is rare. I’ve only experienced it three times in my fourteen years of flying. When you go through training, Leesa, you’ll learn all about turbulence, the four different kinds (light, moderate, severe, extreme), and how you should always take care of yourself first, which means sit down, fasten your seat belt, and worry about the beverage service later!

Hundreds of flight attendants get hurt every year from ignoring turbulence. We get so used to it, I believe, we try to do things we probably shouldn’t be doing when the ride gets a bit too bumpy, like serving those last three rows drinks when we should probably wait and serve them later. When I first started my flying career, it was mandatory to do seat belt checks as soon as the seat belt sign went on. A few times I remember barely being able to walk down the aisle and thinking to myself, how can this be safe? Now flight attendants only check belts if we feel comfortable doing so, meaning we feel safe enough to walk through the cabin. What good is a flight attendant if that flight attendant hits the ceiling during a compliance check and has to be taken off the flight in a wheelchair?

As far as being a nervous flier, I am not afraid to fly and have rarely ever been nervous in flight. Turbulence does not scare me, but it’s what can happen to those who are not seated with their belts fastened during turbulence that I find frightening. I’ve heard horror stories from flight attendants that include all sorts of broken bones and back surgeries, but not one of those stories involved a seat belt. Ninety-nine percent of the time the Captain will give the flight attendants a warning so we have a chance to put things away and take our seats. But turbulence does happen even without warning, which is why it’s so important for passengers to remain in their seats with their seat belts fastened at all times- even when the seat belt sign is not on.

Like I said, I’ve only experienced really bad turbulence three times, and the first time happened on a training flight for Sunjet International Airlines, a low cost carrier I worked for years ago. I still consider that flight the most frightening flight I’ve ever worked in terms of turbulence and scared passengers. We were working a Super80. Except for the side wall lights that had been flickering on and off throughout the flight, it was dark in the cabin. The Captain had told us to take our seats, so we did, and there we sat for quite a long time. Nothing happened. The ride was smooth. Just when I wondered why we were sitting, we suddenly began to violently rock side to side and those flickering lights only made the situation worse. Passengers began to scream, a few prayed, and one even lit up!

“Put that cigarette out!” I yelled from my jumpseat

“This could be my last flight!” The passenger screamed back.

While it was an eerie flight with the flickering lights and the bumpy ride, the turbulence didn’t scare me half as much as the hysterical passengers.

A few months ago on a flight from New York to Los Angeles the flight attendants were told to prepare for landing a little early due to turbulence in the area. I’d been flying the same route for a few days in a row, so I thought I knew what to expect, which is why I had already done my compliance checks, taken my seat, and had my belt strapped across my lap, but nothing prepared me for what happened next!

As soon as the Captain asked the flight attendants to take their seats, the flight attendant in the galley attempted to lock up the inserts of sodas (so they wouldn’t fly out and hit us in the head), but because she took those three extra seconds to secure the galley, she did not make it back to her seat in time. Onto the floor she crashed. When she tried to stand up, holding onto the walls for support, she fell back down. Again she stood, but ended up landing in my lap. I held onto her tightly as we bounced up and down, my fingernails digging into her skin. If not for my tight grip, she would have hit her head on the ceiling. After it was over, I had a difficult time releasing my fingers from her waist. Of course the turbulence was scarey, but it was the flight attendant who fell on the floor and then ended up in my lap that could have been seriously injured that worried me the most.

On my last flight from Dallas to New York , Colleen, my coworker, and I had just pulled the beverage cart to the front of the aircraft. The ride was smooth, so the seat belt sign was off. I had just served a passenger a vodka tonic and had collected $6, when we experienced our first hard jolt. Clear air turbulence, the captain later told us. I grabbed onto the seats and looked at Colleen who was already looking at me, eyes wide. We didn’t say one word to each other as we quickly rolled the cart to the back of the aircraft. Passengers actually tried to stop us for drinks.

“Flight attendants take your seats!” boomed the Captain’s voice over the PA system. We were only halfway to our jumpseats. I didn’t think we were going to make it.

“Should we angle the cart?” asked Colleen, as we continued moving backwards down the aisle at a fast pace.

“I don’t know!” I said, not about to stop for a second. Somehow we kept on moving, holding onto the seats and overhead bins for support, until we were almost at our seats.

Because I was on the far end of the beverage cart and my jumpseat was behind the last row of coach seats, I knew I wasn’t going to make it, so I sat down in the first open passenger seat I could find and buckled up. Thank goodness the flight wasn’t full. The passenger seated at the window looked green, so I handed him the barf bag located in the seatback pocket in front of me. Colleen took a few more steps, angled the cart and locked the break, before strapping into the jumseat located in the galley. I threw her a blanket and she tossed it over the pots full of hot coffee and tea. For ten minutes we rode it out.

At some point a passenger seated in the middle of the cabin got up and ran to the back, stopping at the cart blocking the aisle. “Sir, you need to be in your seat right now!” Colleen barked.

Without saying a word, he ran back to his seat. I figured he was sick and wanted to use the bathroom. What else could it be? A few minutes later, after the worst of the turbulence was over, he got up again, even though Colleen and I were still strapped into our seats.

“The seat belt sign is still on!” I said as he passed by. Passengers seated nearby just shook their heads.

Before Colleen could tell him to go back to his seat again, he said, “Ummm…are you still selling snacks?”

Now this is what scares me, Leesa, passengers asking for snacks when the captain has ordered the flight attendants to take their seats, not turbulence. Because one big jolt and this guy who wants to purchase a cookie is now on the floor and I’ve got to take care of him. But not until I take care of myself, first.

Hope that helps, Leesa. Good luck at flight attendant training! Make sure to write back and let me know how it’s going.

Heather Poole

To read more about turbulence, check out Kent Wien’s Plane Answers post, when are pilot’s afraid of turbulence.

Photos courtesy of (wings), (flight attendant) Cartel82 – flickr

Galley Gossip: The passenger seated in 11J

by Heather Poole on

“Did you see 11J?” asked Shirley as she walked into the galley in coach and chucked a wadded up bag of fast food into the trash. We were in the process of boarding and I had my eyes on the bins and bags, not 11J, and as usual the bins were filling up fast.

“No, why?” I said, not at all interested because celebrities sit in first class, not business class, and the day before we had Carol Burnett onboard so it was kind of hard to top that.

Shirley smiled ear to ear. “Go look. You’re not going to believe what you see.”

“It’s that bad?” I asked, before making my way up the aisle, closing a couple overhead bins, turning a few bags around so they were in wheels first, squeezing by passengers who were slowly trying to get to their seats.

Yes, it’s true, flight attendants really do talk about you in the galley. When you’re really nice, or do something interesting, or look and act a little strange, or freak out over something that’s not our fault, we talk. A lot. Then we all must go and take a look at what we’ve been talking about. In this case, 11J.

I didn’t want to look too obvious, so I briskly walked through business class without ever glancing over at the passenger seated in 11J, making my way up to the first class cabin, picking up a few empty wine glasses and collecting a fur coat along the way. I tossed the plastic glasses, hung up the coat, and then slowly made my way back to coach, eyeing each passenger and smiling until I came to row eleven. That’s when we locked eyes. Oh my. While I’ve pretty much seen it all in the last fourteen years of flying the unfriendly skies, I’d never seen anything like this before and I doubt I’ll ever see anything like her again!

Petite with dirty blonde hair, she looked at me with her sad brown eyes. I smiled at her, but she did not smile back. Instead she clicked her tongue and smacked her lips several times, and she did this very loudly. Startled, I looked at the gentleman sitting beside her who immediately began to run his fingers through her hair. The clicking (or was it smacking?) continued to get louder and faster.

“Why is she doing that?” I finally asked him, not her, because to be honest, she kind of scared me.

He laughed. “She’s just saying hello.”

Hello? Oh okay. I clicked back. I didn’t want to be rude. “What’s her name?”

“Lisa. She’s 49 years-old.”

I looked at him a little strangely. “Is that old?”

“It is for a monkey.”

That’s right, Lisa was a monkey, and not just any monkey, but a somewhat famous macaw, and she was sitting in a business class seat from Los Angeles to New York on her way to the Today Show. Apparently a couple of her friends, including an alligator, were in the belly of the aircraft while Lisa got to sit inside a large cage that had been strapped to the seat using a seat belt extension. Blue canvas covered the cage. I could see her eyes peeking out from behind the bars through a little window. But just one zip and Lisa was revealed.

“Go ahead and look. She won’t mind,” said the handler.

I peeked inside. “Hi Lisa.” Click, click, click, went her tongue as those sad brown eyes took me in.

The handler said, “She’s one of the oldest monkeys alive.” It turns out that 49 human years is equivalent to 108 in monkey years.

“Looking good, old girl,” I said, and then I click, click, clicked my tongue, which only caused Lisa to smack her lips back. We were becoming fast and furious friends.

Years ago I had Spuds Mackenzie on a flight. Remember him, the Bull Terrier from the Bud Light commercials? Did you know that Spuds was actually a girl, not a boy, and her real name was Honey Tree Evil Eye? Me, neither, at least not until I started writing this post. Spuds, like Lisa, also had her own seat in business class. Recently on a flight from New York to Los Angeles my husband sat near another famous dog, the descendant from the original famous dog, whose real name was Pal, not Lassie. To prove it, here’s the text message my husband sent just minutes before departure….

Don’t forget I arrive about 1-1:30. Lassie is on my flight and sitting in business class ! For real. She is in one seat and the handler in another. There is also a group of (7) 20 somethings sitting in business class. I think they’re in a band. Obnoxious as hell. Flight attendant isn’t going to have this for long.

While celebrity and service animals are allowed to sit in a seat, on a lap, or on the floor, as long as it’s not in an exit row, all other animals, also known as pets, must remain in their closed pet carriers underneath the seat in front of you. Yeah I know it’s not fair, but what I can I say, life ain’t fair, especially on the airplane. But you already knew that.

“Did Lisa wear a diaper?” my husband asked when I told him about my unusual passenger.

I don’t think she did, I told my husband, who could not believe I did not remember something as important as that. What I do remember is Lisa nibbled on a little fruit from the breakfast tray and she was one of the most well behaved passengers I’ve ever seen – as quiet as a mouse – er, monkey!

“Does Lisa stay in the hotel room with you?” I asked the handler. He nodded yes. “Does she sleep in the hotel bed?”

“Sometimes,” The handler laughed. “Most of the time she just sleeps on top of the TV.”

To see Lisa (and her friends) on the Today Show CLICK HERE. You better believe I’ll be writing more about Lisa, as well as traveling with pets, in an upcoming post so make sure to check back!

Galley Gossip: Flight attendant of the month – Author Barbara Goodwin

by Heather Poole on

Name? Barbara Goodwin

Hometown? Orange County, California

Base? LAX

How many years have you been a flight attendant? 32

Tell me about your book, Hiding in Plain Sight? It’s a romantic suspense novel about a flight attendant who foils a drug running operation at her airline and has to go undercover with the DEA to find who is the head of the ring. It’s a book for the baby boomers as I think they, too, deserve romance in their lives.

I’ve read the book and it’s good! You’re a very good writer. Hours flown this month? It would be 84, but I have jury duty so I’m not flying 2 trips.

Last flight? JFK-LAX

Galley or Aisle? Galley (as much as possible!)

Thank goodness for people like you! I’m an aisle girl, myself. You’ve got to be organized to work in the galley. First class, business class, or coach? First Class (also as much as possible!)

Widebody or Narrowbody? Widebody

Of course. Favorite airplane? 767

Regular Route? LAX-JFK-LAX

I met you on a flight from LA to NY, only I was commuting and you were working the business class galley. Dream Trip? I’m flying my dream trip. I love the Transcons and have done them for 12 years. I meet the most fascinating people as well as many celebrities and no leg of the trip is the same.

Nightmare Trip? ORD-SFO-ORD. A passenger went berserk, stabbed a pregnant passenger in her arm, the nearest men climbed over seats to go to her rescue and 3 were injured, all stabbed. An older man on the flight had a heart attack watching that unfold inflight.

Oh my, that is the worst “worst trip ever” story I’ve ever heard. And you’re still flying… Just goes to show how much we love our jobs. Moving on, what exactly is in your rollaboard? Lol! Okay, let’s see. Pajamas, undies, 2 blouses, jeans, tennis shoes, socks, sweater. Travel pillow, alarm clock, earplugs, slippers, charging cord for my cell phone, shoe polish.

Shoe polish? I’ve never heard that before. What about your tote bag? Makeup bag, uniform sweater for the always cold First Class galley, galley gloves, passenger restraint tape (actually, duct tape. Hey! I didn’t name it that…), masking tape, water bottle, 3 books, 2 of mine to show or sell, one I’m reading and assorted papers.Any packing tips/tricks? None. I’m still trying to figure out how to pack after all these years. My twin sister even gave me a book on packing for Christmas one year. It didn’t seem to work for me.

I have yet to meet a flight attendant who knows how to pack. Favorite brand of pantyhose? Nordstrom’s.

Best brand/type of in-flight shoes? Monroe

What brand/type of work shoes do you wear through the terminal? Ugly, boring flats. If my feet hurt, I’m not a happy flight attendant, so I compromise and go for comfort.

I hear ya! Any airport routines? Sign in, check my mail box, get a decaf Starbucks and yak with my friends

Nicest Airport? I don’t really have one.

Worst Airport ? Miami

It seems people either love it or hate it. Favorite Airport restaurant? Oops, sorry, none. I’ve only been at 2 airports, LAX and JFK for the past decade.

What kinds of snacks do you carry with you on the airplane? Weight Watchers bars, Trader Joe’s Cliff bars, string cheese, apples, and a thing I make called baked oatmeal. They’re oatmeal squares, easy to pack and don’t get too smashed.

Hotel away from home? The Roosevelt in Manhattan .

Best layover city? New York! When I’m in New York I love to eat at Carmines in Times Square with a bunch of friends from the crew

I’m a big fan of Carmines, too. Their salad is amazing. Favorite in-flight announcement? Flight attendants prepare for landing.

Book / Magazine last read on the jumpseat? Everlasting by Kathleen Woodiwiss

Most annoying passenger question? Are you sure my bag won’t fit in the overhead bin?

If there’s one thing we know, besides uncomfortable seats and bad food, it’s baggage. Ever hook up with a pilot? Yes, many moons ago.

How about a passenger? Never.

Favorite vacation spot? Maui because of the wonderful sunsets. I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t go away on vacation, I love to write my books then.

Finish the following sentences:

I can’t fly without my… iPhone

On my last flight… I closed the galley curtain and didn’t realize I cut off the heat vent so
I froze in the galley.

Once a passenger…. On his way to the bathroom heard me asking another flight attendant if she would date someone much younger. He told me he would have turned off his computer if he’d known we were having such a fun discussion.

Once a pilot... told me that reading a few paragraphs of my book Hiding in Plain Sight was turning him on. That was fun!

Once a flight attendant... decided to read one of my love scenes out loud to some other flight attendants working the trip and turned beet red. I told her the scenes were not to be read out loud!

Why do passengers... tell flight attendants to smile?

When it comes to traveling, I wish... People would have patience with those around them.

If I could be anywhere in the world, I’d … be right where I am, at home.

Any advice for travelers? Check your bag. If they can’t do that…pack light.

Next flight? What else? LAX-JFK!

To read more about Barbara and her books visit her website – barbaragoodwin.com

Galley Gossip: Passenger of the month – Author Thant Myint-U

by Heather Poole on

Name? Thant Myint-U

Where do you live? Right now in Bangkok, but before that in NYC for many years.

Bangkok, wow! Pretend I’m a tourist and I’ve just asked you to recommend a few places to check out while I’m visiting Bangkok, places you actually go to, what would you suggest? The Vertigo bar on top of the Banyan Tree hotel (pictured below), the Oriental Spa at the Oriental Hotel, the Tea Room at the Erawan Hyatt Hotel

Sounds nice. You write books, right? Hmmmm. It’s a little complicated. Most of the next six months I’ll be writing a new book. I’ve also worked for the UN more than ten years on and off, and taught history for a while at Cambridge University.

Tell me about your most recent book, The River of Lost Footsteps. It’s partly a history of Burma (which is where my family is from) and an attempt to introduce Americans and others to Burma’s incredibly colorful and exciting history. It’s also partly an autobiography, a travel book, and the story of my family over the past two hundred years.

Ever write about something you’ve seen on a flight? Yes. Well a little bit. In the RoLF I mention my first long flight on Pan Am from New York to Bangkok (and then to Rangoon) in 1974. We flew first class and had to go NY-Frankfurt-Istanbul-Teheran-Dehli-Bangkok-Rangoon. There was a bar and a big movie screen. It was such a long flight with so many stops I still remember the itinerary (even though I was only eight years old then).

Are you working on a new book? It’s called “The Hidden Map of Asia”. But can’t say anything more, other than that it should be published in a year’s time.

City you spend the most time in? Bangkok, about half my time this year.

Where do you travel the most often? All over Asia, Europe and the East Coast. My main cities last year were NY, London, Reykjavik, Oslo, Berlin, Stockholm, Beijing, Kathmandu, Rangoon and Bangkok.

Miles flown this year? Not sure, over 100,000.

Do you remember your very first flight? I think it was when we went to Jamaica when I was four (with my parents and my little sister). Don’t remember very much about it though. I think it was TWA.

You’ve been traveling your entire life! What about your last flight? I bet you can remember that. Rangoon to Bangkok last week. On Thai International (which is one of only a few airlines that fly to Burma these days). Only an hour. Great Thai food though and champagne. I take it many times a year. Always full. And Buddhist monks get automatically bumped up to business.

I did not know about Buddhist monks getting automatically upgraded to business class. That’s very interesting. Unfortunately, I’m sad to report, I do not believe we do that here in the States. So what Type / brand of luggage do you own? Globetrotter hard case (I have two sizes, one carry-on and one bigger)

Check it or Carry on? I usually check-in if it’s for a trip that’s more than a couple of days.

Checking your luggage does make flying a lot less stressful, but you have to get to the airport early and be prepared to wait at baggage claim. Window or Aisle? Aisle. I get claustrophobic in the window seat unless it’s a business class seat where you can easily get out without squeezing past the other person.

I’m an aisle girl myself. I think most people are. Any favorite seat in particular? Business class seat on Singapore long-haul (Singapore-NY 19 hours). I just watch a movie, eat, sleep for nine hours, wake up, eat, watch a movie and I’m there.

You actually make a long flight sound do-able. Something to Drink? Diet coke or champagne.

Beef or Chicken? I guess chicken

You don’t sound too enthusiastic. I guess you pack snacks? Never done that!

So what exactly is in your carry on bag? My laptop, papers, newspapers, books.

Any packing tips/tricks? I travel superlight. Sometimes just an old leather briefcase with a couple of extra shirts and socks and toiletries for a few days.

Describe your traveling outfit. Depends on what’s going to happen at the other end. I might wear a suit if it’s a short trip and I have a meeting to go to. And usually wear a blazer with jeans on a long trip.

Best shoes to wear through airport security? I more or less have only lace-ups so I just wear whatever I have to wear and don’t think too much about security hassles. In Asia it’s different. Very short lines. And you don’t have to take off your shoes.

Any airport routines? I always get a massage at the Thai Airways business lounge in Bangkok.

It’s official, I want to be you. Best airline/experience? I actually like the super long flights. No phone, no blackberry, no internet. I read and watch movies and don’t have to worry that I’m missing anything. The best views by far were in Nepal, flying right up against the Himalayas.

You make travel sound amazing. Most memorable experience onboard a flight? During the Bosnian war I used to fly every few weeks from Zagreb to Sarajevo (I was serving in a UN peacekeeping operation), and once or twice our planes got shot at as we approached Sarajevo airport.

That’s crazy! How about the nicest airport? There are so many nice ones in Asia now. Beijing is probably the most impressive. The one in Rangoon is probably the most surprisingly nice – brand new, efficient, easy.

Okay I’m ready to move to Asia. Favorite Airport restaurant? Hardly ever eat in an airport restaurant, actually.

Hotel away from home? These past few months it’s been the Chatrium in Rangoon (at least four weeks there altogether). I’ve been at a little guesthouse in Reykjavik a lot too.

Most luxurious hotel you’ve ever experienced? Hard to say, over the past year probably the Pimalai on Koh Lanta (an island beach resort) in southern Thailand and the Four Seasons in Bangkok.

Favorite in-flight announcement? We’re arriving early. Or we’re ready to take off and you look around and they’re lots of empty seats. Or the local weather is 70 degrees and sunny.

Oh I like those! Especially the part about the empty seats. When passengers are comfortable, they’re happy, and when they’re happy, flight attendants are happy, which makes for an amazing flight. Book / magazine last read on a flight? Financial Times.

Favorite travel book(s)? Pretty much anything by VS Naipaul or Paul Theroux.

You did recommend that I read The Old Patagonian Express, by Paul Theroux, and not only did I read it, it’s now one of my favorite books. It inspired me as a writer and a traveler. Where did you go on your last vacation? Trekking in the Himalayas

Tell me about your favorite destination? I’m always happy to go to Rangoon, which is where my family’s from – I’ve never lived there properly but have gone nearly every year since I was very young. It’s been so isolated but is still an amazingly cosmopolitan city – with Buddhist pagodas, mosques, Baptist churches, synagogues, and people from all across Asia, beautiful, with an incredible (and often very violent) history, and great food.

Now finish the following sentences…

I can’t fly without my…reading material

Once this passenger I sat next to…turned out to be a famous network news anchor.

If I could be anywhere in the world, I’d be…on the beach in Burma

When it comes to traveling, I wish…I didn’t have any luggage

Next flight? – Kuala Lumpur, for the day, in ten days.


Vertigo Bar at the Banyan Tree Hotel in Bangkok…