The (Un)Wired: A Free Wi-Fi Manifesto

by Andrew Evans on

The year is twenty-ten A.D. and Wi-Fi should be free.
We travelers bear no grudge with you as long as you agree,
But if you’re that one schmuck who likes to play it old school,
Charging folks for internet–well, then basically, you’re a tool.

Your penny-pinching greed smells just like boardroom boredom.
It’s out of touch and backwards, not to mention just plain dumb.
Please get with the program, be ye airport or hotel:
If you don’t have free Wi-Fi, then you can go to hell.

Maybe somehow you’re still stuck way back in 1999,
But nowadays, we’re all online, everywhere and all the time.
We’re riding on a bullet train to a place called progress,
Get on it or get off it; win or lose, more or less.

Now don’t start waggin’ your finger and talkin’ ’bout capitalism.
‘Cuz what you’re doin’ and what that is, capitalism it isn’t.
You preach that competition matters most in a race,
But Bandwidth Bandit’s the losing horse, so here’s my trophy in your face.

Don’t believe the suits who tell us bloggers we’re too sassy,
‘Cuz let me tell you dittoheads, “Do you know what’s so not classy?”
Welcoming frequent flyers who only wanna soak their feet,
Then telling your five-star guest to go and check his email on the street.

Hey Luddite, while you’re at it, dream big, don’t stop there–
Stick your dirty hands in the water, in the men’s room, if you dare.
You could make a fortune charging for all the stuff that should be free.
A nickel to wipe, a dime to pee, and half a buck to breathe.Real funny how some of you think Wi-Fi’s, like, optional,
An extra perk like cushioned hangars or an ice bucket that’s full.
Well, keep your stupid coffee machine and you’re fancy new remote.
We watch TV online now, perhaps you didn’t know?

Now we’ve all got 3- and 4G, it’s isn’t like we need you,
It’s just your stupid concrete walls keep the signal from getting through.
So please stop annoying us or perhaps find another hobby?
‘Cuz right now I keep running with my laptop to the lobby.

I’ve been around the world, from Port Harcourt to Beijing,
The third world’s better wired than your top floor executive wing.
I can Twitter in Rwanda, get on Facebook and type,
But in your three-hundred-dollar hotel room, I can’t log on to Skype.

Now I spy with my bionic eyes the not-so-distant future,
And if you wanna be part of it, then let me offer you this here clue:
Soon every single traveler’s gonna check in with an iPad–
If your lousy hotel ain’t got Wi-Fi, than watch us get real iMad.

We won’t show up with pitchforks or with gas bombs at your door,
The way you’ll know we’re real pissed off is the way in which we ignore.
We’ll take a different airline, find a different place to play,
We’ll see you got no free signal, and we’ll simply walk away.

Really guys, don’t fret too much, it’s really no big whoop:
Your hotel will make a nice warehouse, or high-rise chicken coop.
Sit back and enjoy your silly ten-buck charges while they last,
You’ll need the cash come winter, when you’re freezing your homeless ass.

Sadly, it’s not just hotels who behave this way,
Not naming any names, LAX, IAD, JFK,
We’re talking to you ‘cuz your airports are such a mess.
You’re necessary but you still suck, so why not suck a little less?

Give us free Wi-Fi and we won’t hate you as much.
(Surely it costs less than nasty airport fudge.)
But you still just don’t get it and that’s exactly why,
We’d rather fly through Singapore, Portland or Dubai.

So here’s the proverbial memo you’ll keep swearing you didn’t get:
“Give us free Wi-Fi dammit, we deserve our internet.”
If not, then don’t complain when history adds you to the pile,
With drive-in movies, the horse-drawn carriage, civilization on the Nile.

So kudos to all those companies who know us, love and get us:
The mom and pop joints, B&Bs and dingy Chinatown bus.
You corporate minds should wake up now and please smell the coffee:
Starbucks has free Wi-Fi now, and so does MickeyDees.

What’s that you say? You still can’t catch the gist?
Of what everyone’s been sayin’–your kids and The Economist.
Really guys, it’s not so hard and I’m pleading on one knee,
It’s already twenty-ten A.D. and Wi-Fi should be free.

Peace out.

(Photo: Flickr Miklo Olivier, Dana-2)

Hotels making a move on social media, with targeted help

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The hotel industry has plenty of faith in the social media world – and no reservations about using it to gain reservations. But, it’s struggling to take control of the medium. A survey by Wine and Hospitality Network indicates that most respondents (in the business) spend only two hours a week managing their Facebook fan pages – with 14.2 percent having no such page to manage. Forty-two percent don’t use Twitter, and 25 percent tweet for less than an hour a week (they should reach out to @Colonnade for tips).

But, it isn’t for lack of trying. The internet is littered with the corpses of abandoned social media marketing initiatives, inside the travel industry and out. Notes online marketing publication ClickZ:

“Before hoteliers even consider a social media initiative, they should be aware that social media is a very engaged, hands-on marketing format. The social networks are a graveyard of abandoned hotel profiles and fan pages by hoteliers who did not realize the complexity of social marketing,” said Margaret Mastrogiacomo, social media specialist with Hospitality eBusiness Strategies, a strategic services and design firm.

Several properties are getting in on the action, committing resources and genuinely seeking returns. New York’s Roger Smith Hotel has made a clear social media play, according to ClickZ, by adopting Revinate, a tool to facilitate active social media management specifically for the hospitality business. Kimpton has adopted this platform as well.

ClickZ continues:

The focus on hotels pays off for the Roger Smith’s Simpson, who used to spend hours using search and setting up news alerts on competitors. While Revinate doesn’t include some of the hot new social media startups he keeps an eye on, like Bizzy and Pegshot, he says it covers the major sites, especially TripAdvisor, the most important. The ability to compare his hotel’s buzz with competitors is also unique. “It’s one thing to do it manually for your own establishment, but for me to do that for surrounding hotels or for what other people we have an interest in are doing, that becomes more laborious.”

So, what does this mean for the average traveler? Your opportunities to engage with the hotels you’ll call home, if only temporarily, are set to increase. Think beyond deals (though they are important) to every other reason you’d contact and open dialogue with a hotel. The possibilities are immense, and hotels, a bit slow to move in social media, appear to be on the brink.

Royalton to offer iPads in all guest rooms

by Melanie Nayer on

The latest hotel to jump on the iPad craze is straight out of NYC and prepping its iPads for Fashion Week. The Royalton, a member of the Morgans Hotel Group, will launch a new virtual concierge program via iPads, which will be available in all guest rooms at the hotel.

These iPads will host content from “The List” destination guide, curated by the Morgans Hotel’s concierge teams in collaboration with UrbanDaddy, and also give customers access to playlists created by the hotel, content relating to Fashion Week, the Armory Show and other current, New York events. Mobile applications and services will also be included.

Like the other hotels that offer iPads, we love the hotel-specific angles that are available on the iPads and the Royalton didn’t disappoint: guests will be able to browse and order room-service, communicate with the concierge for tickets to events, check flight details or arrange a car service.

The iPads will be in rooms in time for New York Fashion Week in September, with exclusive features that will appeal to Royalton’s fashion savvy clientele.

Hotels on social media: we’re trying!

by Tom Johansmeyer on

For the properties using social media, the effort seems to be paying off. Guests are using tools like Facebook to score discounted rates all over the country. This shouldn’t exactly be shocking, but since the travel industry lags other businesses, there’s a sort of novelty to the impact of promoting in these emerging online environments.

What’s interesting is that the greatest benefit may not be the booking itself, or the attendant revenue. Rather, it’s the subsequent online chest-puffing involved in telling the world you scored a great deal. Why? It’s electron-based word-of-mouth, which sends people over to the property’s Facebook page creating the potential for more clicks, bookings and braggadocio … to kick the cycle off again.

Travel missing among fastest growing Facebook pages

by Tom Johansmeyer on

What happened to the hotels, resorts and destinations? These naturals for social media didn’t make the cut on All Facebook’s list of the fastest growing Facebook pages. Media and celebrities dominated the list, which consists of Facebook pages not on All Facebook’s leaderboard, but even there, there isn’t a travel-related site until #37, the destination- and company-agnostic “I need a vacation!!!”

Of course, there is no shortage of travel content available on Facebook, from Gadling‘s page to resorts such as Turtle Island on Fiji. And, social media marketing is starting to creep into thetourism and travel business. There have been some successes, such as JetBlue and Southwest, but the gains haven’t been as profound as in other industries, particularly media. Hotels are lagging. A quick poke around shows that the W Hotels page, for example, has a bit more than 10,000 “likers.”

The travel business is taking steps toward a more robust social media presence, but there’s still plenty of ground to cover. For now, it looks like it’s up to traveler to fill in the gaps! How do you use social media on the road … or to book your trips? Leave a comment below to let us know.