How much loot is this woman carrying?

“Valuables? I don’t have any valuables.”

After putting together my post on Five sexy ways to carry your valuables safely, I was contacted by the PortaPocket folks to give their discreet, put-anywhere pockets a try.

PortaPockets are made from lightweight, coated neoprene, making them comfortable and hygienic, as well as very slim. They are made to be worn on the ankle, calf, thigh, arm and waist, but you can fit them almost anywhere (not that there are a lot of other places) and adjust them to your ideal size. The pockets themselves can be either threaded or velcroed onto the straps, and their gentle padding makes them serve as protective cases for phones and other valuables — even when you aren’t wearing them.

So now, the test. I tried on four filled PortaPockets with two different outfits. Can you see them?

%Gallery-92954%
The PortaPocket items I tested cost $12.95 to $23.95 per set and can be purchased here.

Daily Pampering: Browse the fabrics of next year’s runways in Zürich


Tucked away behind a garden near the Langstrasse area of Zürich (a street of many cultures and even more sex shops), there is a boutique called Fabric Frontline. There, they curate and design some of the finest fabrics in the world.

When you walk in, the boutique is a rainbow of color. Any “I don’t want to go to a fabric store, are you out of your mind?” misgivings will be immediately washed away as you browse the naturally-dyed, gleaming silk satins and printed cashmeres. An associate can show you exactly how their Chinese-sourced silks are printed and woven (in Italy), and why it’s such a lengthy and expensive process. After that, you are free to feel and admire silks on shelves, in drawers and even displayed as artworks on the wall.

These same fabrics from this family-owned and run boutique go to trade shows across the world, where designers like Vivienne Westwood, Nina Ricci and Helmut Lang (just a few of the names dropped) will pick and choose what to use for their creations a couple of seasons in the future. Most importantly, this shop is the only place in the world where consumers like you and me can purchase the fabrics by the meter — albeit for prices around 590 CH (about $532) per square meter. Your souvenir is likely to strut the runways a year later, making you feel very clever indeed.

Want more? Get your daily dose of pampering right here.

My trip to Zürich was sponsored by Zürich Tourism and Switzerland Tourism, but the ideas and opinions expressed in this article are 100 percent my own.

Indulge in a ‘Sex and the City 2’ themed evening on May 26

New York City won’t be sleeping on May 26th as Sex and the City 2 rolls into theaters at midnight. If you want to make a full evening extravaganza of the highly anticipated premiere, check out the SATC2 Midnight Movie Madness package from On Location Tours.

The May 26th NYC romp will begin at 6 PM with a Sex and the City Hotspots tour including a visit to the shop where Charlotte bought her Rabbit, a peek around the Meatpacking District and a cosmopolitan at the bar Aidan owned. Then, there will be a decadent dinner at Fresco by Scotto, followed by the screening, and after that? Admission into Marquee nightclub, definitely a Carrie-worthy destination.

Secretly, with over 40 stops, it’s also a really good way to get acquainted with a saucy side of NYC. Tickets are $179 and must be booked in advance, so call your mom or your girlfriends and start thinking about outfits. Visit the website for more information.

Galley Gossip: Will the volcanic eruption trigger a baby boom?

During 9/11 I was stuck in Zurich, Switzerland for over a week. Sure there are much worse places to be, but I spent ninety percent of that time sitting around the airport waiting to get back to the United States. Every single day I checked out the hotel, dragged my bags a few blocks in the dark to the train station, and waited at the airport just like thousands of other stranded passengers. I was number 800-and-something on the standby list and all the flights departing to the US – two of them a day – were full. Some passengers became impatient and decided to rent a car and drive to airports in neighboring countries in the hope of getting out sooner. A few days later they were back. The rest of us just sat around waiting for our names to be called. It didn’t take long for strangers from all over the world to become friends.

Now with a volcanic ash cloud over Iceland shutting down European air space, thousands of passengers are stranded at airports around the world. With so many passengers spending time together, I can’t help but wonder if any love connections have formed over the last few days. What can I say, I’m romantic like that. Put a group of people together, throw in a natural disaster, and relationships are bound to form. And with all that time just hanging around airport hotels with nothing to do but, well, ya know, babies are bound to be born nine months later. Don’t ya think?

Remember the 2003 New York City blackout? I wanted to know if it resulted in a rise in births. So I did a little research and found out that the baby boom theory after a disruptive event is an urban legend. Isolated events like blackouts, and I’m going to assume erupting volcanos, do not cause babies to be born. It’s a misconception that people use their downtime to, well, ya know, get busy. Apparently that is the last thing on their mind. Don’t know why. I guess they’re just a little too busy waiting to board a flight that isn’t going to leave for days than to get jiggy with it. So what does cause a baby boom? According to Judith Nolte of “American Baby” magazine in an article written in 2003, the only thing that will create a baby boom is a surging number of women who are fertile. Like we didn’t know that.

I don’t care what the scientists and baby experts say, I predict there will be quite a few babies born as a direct result of Eyafjallajokul erupting. So what do you say we help name all those little volcano babies? After I sent out a tweet asking for a few suggestions, the names came pouring in. Valen, one of the more interesting ones, came from Infobitsystems. It’s a variant of Valentinus; the name of more than fifty saints and three Roman emperors. Now that’s a powerful name! NavyAirCrewman came up with Pele for a girl (Hawaiian volcano goddess) and Hephaistos for a boy (Greek god of fire). Now it’s up to you to decide.

%Poll-44777%

%Poll-44785%

Photo courtesy of OMI

Annual “DOTTY” awards honor traveling fools

Those crazy kids at the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) have released the winners of their annual DOTTY awards. Since 2008, the government travel industry watchdog has exhibited a most uncharacteristic sense of humor for a federal agency. Honorees are those travelers who have displayed the most moronic behavior. This year, the awards were issued just as DOT put new regulations into effect to provide increased security for travelers. Unfortunately, they can’t provide increased IQ, as well.

msnbc.com contributor Rob Lovitt breaks it down, pot cookie overdose, bomb scare ploy, monkey-disguised-as-pregnancy, tighty-whitey amphibian smuggling, and all.