Come fly the polite skies

by George Hobica on

I have a request.

Can’t we all just get along up in the air? Can’t we be just a little-no, make that a lot-more polite?

Consider: I was sitting in first class on a recent flight (yes, I used miles to upgrade) and the guy next to me flagged down a passing flight attendant by shaking his half empty highball glass at her. “More ice!” he bellowed. To which she replied, rather sweetly under the circumstances, “What’s the magic word!” To which he more or less replied, “Don’t try to teach me manners, just get me more ice.” (I mean, really, can you believe this jerk? What is it with some airline passengers thinking they’re grand poobahs just because they bought a $200 airfare and upgraded it with miles?) So the flight attendant answered him, “Sir, the ice is in the galley. Get it yourself.” If I didn’t have to sit next to this bozo for another two hours, I would have shouted out “woo hoo!”. And had I been she, I would have omitted the “sir.’

My seat mate was lucky that all he got was a well-deserved come-uppance. John Reed, a customer on American Airlines flight 614 from Sacramento to Dallas on December 6, had a less pleasant encounter with a flight attendant. As reported extensively in the blogosphere, Mr. Reed, a first class passenger with executive platinum frequent flyer status, asked a flight attendant for a glass of orange juice, was excoriated for doing so (“I guess you don’t know how this works,” she reportedly told him), and ended up getting a written FAA misconduct notification from the pilot. Reed and his fellow first class passengers all insist that the flight attendant was completely out of line and perhaps mentally unstable, and American has issued an apology to all those affected.Of course we weren’t on that flight, so we don’t know whether or not Reed used the magic word when asking for his OJ, but even if he didn’t, by all accounts the flight attendant’s behavior was bizarre and inexcusable.

Even so, I often find the rudeness of airline passengers equally bizarre. When asked, “Can I get you something to drink sir (or ma’am)” by a flight attendant (or by a waiter for that matter), it is not acceptable to bark out “Coke” without looking up from your Sudoku. It’s not acceptable in the air, and frankly, it’s not acceptable on the ground, either. But especially not in the air. Flight attendants are trained to save your life if there’s an incident. Flying is stressful for all concerned. We’re stuck together in an aluminum can, sometimes for six hours or more. This is not a flying McDonald’s.

And it is not acceptable when handed your beverage to skip the “thank you.” You are not the Sultan of Siam. She is not your girl. I think flyers should all take a lesson from my mother, who, when we flew together, laid down certain rules of decorum. “Georgie,” she would remind me near the end of each flight, “when we leave the plane you are to say thank you to the pilot and stewardesses.” To this day, I never fail to do so.

Not that all the politeness in the world will save you from the wrath of a flight attendant gone bonkers, and times have changed drastically since my first transcontinental flight with mom, on a TWA 707, as a bowtie-clad 10 year old.

On that flight, my mother suggested I help the stewardesses clear the meal trays, which task I gamely performed (after all, one of them had pinned plastic wings on my blazer, so I was crew, right?). In recognition of my valorous service, one of the stews pinched my chubby little cheek and said, “Oh what a nice little boy you are.” And then I got to ride up with the pilots for a thrilling half hour. As I said, things have changed.

Fast forward to a flight a few years ago when I was sitting in the back of a Continental Airline’s 737 waiting in vain for a meal tray to be removed. Needing a lav visit, I got up and placed the tray on an empty counter in the galley, where the flight attendants were busy gabbing away about whatever. “You can’t put that there!” one of them barked at me. Shell-shocked, but ignoring her, I went into the loo and upon emerging looked her in the eye and said, “You know, you could have said that a bit more politely.” She, indignantly: “I wasn’t impolite.” Me, equally indignant: “Oh yes you were, and you know it.” Luckily I guess, I didn’t get one of those FAA warning letters, but while I’m all for politesse in the skies, modern airline travel is fraught enough as it is, and it does take two to maintain a civil atmosphere. I’m willing to do my part. I wish more people were willing to do theirs.

George Hobica is the founder of Airfarewatchdog™, the most inclusive source of airfare deals that have been researched and verified by experts. Airfarewatchdog compares fares from all airlines and includes the increasing number of airline-site-only and promo code fares.

A memo to airline passengers

by George Hobica on

If you don’t want to pay what it’s worth, then stop whining about air travel.

I won’t take credit for that pithy remark. It was made by a travel editor friend of mine, the New York Post’s David Landsel, over Thanksgiving dinner.

But it’s been ringing in my ears ever since.

Because let’s face it: we’re not paying enough for commercial air travel. Airlines have cut costs to the bone, slashing pay, eliminating services, deferring new planes, hedging jet fuel purchases, and all the rest. And yet they’re still losing billions.

But while the cost of most everything else we buy, in inflation-adjusted dollars, has gone up (notable exceptions being things like TVs and phone service), the price of air travel has gone down over the last several decades.

Back in the early 1960’s, when a gallon of gas cost 29 cents, a flight from New York to LA could be bought for as little as $250 round-trip. Today, you can fly that route for as little as $178 round-trip when there’s a cutthroat sale going on, but that gallon of gas costs 10 times as much. A brand new Ford Pinto cost $1999 in 1972. And that $250 flight, in 1960 dollars, works out to about $2200 in 2009 greenbacks.
For some odd reason, and I’ve never heard a rational explanation for this, North America’s airlines can’t seem to price their product at what it actually costs them to deliver it.

Experience has shown them that when they raise fares to profitable levels, people simply reduce their flying, and that impacts the entire travel industry-hotels, rental cars, attractions. Because, let’s face it, most air travel is discretionary. Few people have to fly to Hawaii unless it’s to a funeral or to attend college.

And so instead of raising prices, airlines have cut costs, wages, seat pitch, and perks such as meals and pillows. And that’s resulted in cramped and dirty planes, cancelled routes, and grumpy employees and passengers. But what, exactly, do you expect when you pay more for the round-trip taxi ride to the airport than for your flight to Chicago?

Look, I’ve built a career and an award-winning airfare web site on telling people about insanely low airfares. And I love my work. But honestly, when I see a $98 round-trip fare from New York to Denver, I shake my head, and I feel a little guilty. Am I helping the situation by telling folks about how desperate the airlines can get sometimes? It’s like stealing candy from a baby, not that I’ve ever done that. Or at least I don’t think I have.

One way that the airlines are trying to achieve pricing power, frankly, is by reeling consumers in with ridiculously unprofitable fares and then hitting them with all these new fees for checked bags, pets, itinerary changes, and frequent flyer ticket redemptions. But even that hasn’t returned them to profitability. All it’s done is generate thousands of newspaper headlines. Speaking of which, enough about those holiday surcharges already! So the airlines are trying to lose a little less money. Give them a break!

Eventually, and who knows when, the party has to end. Fares need to go up, or we’ll see more airline mergers and Chapter 7 filings. And then fares really will go up. But meanwhile, perhaps it’s time to face reality. Sure, air travel isn’t fun anymore. Sure, it’s a PITA. But just as surely, as crappy as it is sometimes, this is what you and I told the airlines we wanted by voting with our wallets. So maybe we should all just stop whining or get used to paying a fair price for airfare.

George Hobica is the founder of Airfarewatchdog™, the most inclusive source of airfare deals that have been researched and verified by experts. Airfarewatchdog compares fares from all airlines and includes the increasing number of airline-site-only and promo code fares.

Why people aren’t flying. (Hint: It’s not just the fares)

by George Hobica on

Think that all airlines are losing business during the recession? Not quite. Southwest Airlines and JetBlue Airways saw their traffic jump 9 and 10 percent, respectively, in September, while United’s was down 6 percent. Other airlines suffered traffic declines as well. Could it be that consumers are flocking to airlines known for having better service (e.g., JetBlue’s extra legroom, free snacks, and live TV) and lower fees than most of their competition (Southwest has lower fees across the board where they do charge a fee)? Is one reason the airline industry is in such dire shape because the product has deteriorated to the point where people just don’t want to fly at any price?

A recent reader poll by Consumertraveler.com crowned Southwest as respondents’ favorite airline, with 71 percent saying that service was the reason why. The same poll revealed that “comfortable seating” was the main reason consumers who chose JetBlue as their favorite did so.

Airlines are losing money ($11 billion worldwide this year, according to one estimate), fewer people are flying, and, despite capacity cuts, the average fare paid is going down. Now one would think that if you have fewer seats to sell you’d be able to charge more for those remaining. But while scarcity pricing works in most other industries, it appears not to in air travel. The airlines park planes in the desert, but fares stay the same on most routes or go down (depending on which statistics you believe, average ticketed fares have fallen about 20 percent this year compared to last, far more than prices have dived in most other industries). So why is there insufficient demand for air travel?Sure, the recession is part of it. And, let’s face it, most travel is discretionary. Other than attending funerals and weddings, visiting dying relatives, going off to college, or making mission-critical business trips (a technician traveling to repair an ailing nuclear plant), flying somewhere is simply not a life and death affair. Vacationers can stay home, drive, or take the bus. Business folks can seal deals by phone or email, or videoconference, even though doing so is usually less effective.

Airfarewatchdog believes that a lot of people aren’t flying because, to put it bluntly, flying is a big PITA. If air travel were a better experience, we believe, more people would take to the skies, even at higher fares. But, of course, improving the product will cost money that the airlines don’t have and we’d all have to pay higher taxes to fix our antiquated air traffic control system.

To test our theory, we’re running an admittedly unscientific poll asking readers, “If you aren’t flying as much as you used to, what’s the number one reason why?” The options are:

  • “Fares are too high”
  • “I’m afraid of losing my job”
  • “Air travel is a pain what with all the delays and fees”
  • “None of the above”

With over 1500 responses so far, 44 percent have answered that fares are too high, but almost as many (41 percent) aren’t flying because it’s just a big fat bother.

But it’s not just the raw numbers that are interesting. We also asked for comments, and that’s where things get revealing. I think we got one email complaining about high fares (not surprising since fares are trending down), but dozens lamenting the sorry state that air travel finds itself in. People are, to put it mildly, fed up.

Paul Schrodt writes from Columbus, OH, “I used to fly during the winter months to Florida. Now, because of fees and other airline shenanigans I just drive, and enjoy the trip a whole lot more. Let’s let the airlines suffer until they come to their senses again!” Whew.

To be fair, several respondents complained about hassles beyond the airlines’ control. Joseph Kraatz of Oceanside, California, spoke for many when he wrote, “By the time I drive to the airport, find a parking space, get to the terminal, then go through the ridiculous inspections, I have wasted 3 hours. I can drive to Las Vegas in six hours and arrive way before my flight. Is there something wrong with this picture? You bet there is. People should completely stop flying on trips of anything less than 1000 miles.”

But others have stopped flying simply because it’s an uncomfortable experience. “Airlines have crammed more seats into their flying aluminum cans,” one reader laments. Another gripes that seats are “as thin as cardboard” and that he has taken to riding the bus for trips of less than four hours. “The bus seats are much more comfortable and the travel time is comparable. I also get to see a bit of the country side and I’ve yet to have a bus fail to leave the terminal on time.”

But perhaps the reader who summed it up best was the one who simply noted that, “flying just isn’t fun anymore. It’s an ordeal–uncomfortable, crowded, and unhealthy.”

So what’s the answer? Re-regulation? Higher fares? Fewer airlines? Allowing foreign carriers to serve domestic routes (imagine flying Singapore Airlines nonstop from New York to LA)? One thing is clear: airlines can’t go on forever losing billions. Something has to give. And until airlines are profitable again, they probably can’t afford to make flying with them a more pleasant experience. You want friendlier airline staff? Stop cutting their pay and benefits. Comfier padded seats? That will burn more jet fuel, so be prepared to pay for it. And so on.

Even I don’t fly as much as I used to. I travel frequently between my home in New York City and Boston, sometimes more than once a month. And although I created a site called Airfarewatchdog, I usually take the train. The only thing that enticed me to fly recently was a sale on JetBlue combined with a 20 percent promo code discount, bringing the tax-included round-trip fare to $66. But on the train I get more legroom, two-by-two or even single seating, no lines, no hassle, and because I travel the route often, free upgrades to first class, where I’m served a hot meal at my well-padded seat by friendly attendants. It’s almost like flying…used to be.

George Hobica is the founder of Airfarewatchdog™, the most inclusive source of airfare deals that have been researched and verified by experts. Airfarewatchdog compares fares from all airlines and includes the increasing number of airline-site-only and promo code fares.

Welcome to the first airline-owned restaurant!

by George Hobica on

Airfarewatchdog visited recently a new restaurant in our neighborhood and boy were we surprised at what we saw on the menu.

That’s right, diners! This restaurant is under new management! At Trans Air Airlines, we sure weren’t making money flying people places, so we thought what the heck, why not try the fine dining business to earn some “ancillary revenue” as we like to call it. While you’re waiting for your server to take your order, please enjoy reading about this exciting new concept!

First of all, we’ll now be giving discounts if you buy your meal online in advance of your visit. If you must cancel your reservation, we will provide a refund, minus a $100 “service fee” ($250 for foreign-sounding menu items, such as Coq au Vin). If you have commenced your meal but cannot finish it for any reason, there are no refunds. This applies, for example, if you choke on a fishbone, turn blue, and collapse face first into the mashed sweet potatoes.

And although we aim for exemplary service (we are Trans Air, after all), please be advised that from time to time, due to circumstances beyond our control or any other Force Majeure event (that’s a French term meaning “anything we refuse to take responsibility for”), we reserve the right to cancel your meal without notice. Or we may substitute an entrée of our choosing, say, the Steak and Frites a la Nonstop ($17.95 plus meals tax, sales tax, Federal meals excise tax, city kitchen inspection fee, electricity surcharge, and whatever other fees we can dream up now or in the future) with the Connection Burger ($7.95) or any other meal of our choice. As per our policy, in the event of such substitution you will receive a refund for any price difference, minus a “service fee” (see above). Meal delivery times are also not guaranteed, although delays of more than six hours are uncommon. Unfortunately, we require that you remain at your table while waiting.
And please be aware that if your steak frites special is burnt to a crisp when it finally arrives (delivery times are subject to change and cannot be guaranteed), you can’t send it back to the kitchen for a redo. Instead, please email our customer service department. They might send you a $5 coupon valid for your next meal. Or they might not. And please don’t hold your breath waiting for an apology from our overworked, taciturn waiters if they screw up your order. Most of them are furloughed Trans Air flight attendants and are on food stamps.

And please do not converse with your fellow diners while you wait, otherwise you may discover that the person at the next table paid only half what you did for his steak frites special. Please visit our Web site for our full contract of dining.

Also, while you wait for your meal, please refrain from filling in the comment cards. We are aware that the seats are thin and uncomfortable (we’re trying to keep costs down in order to offer you the best possible prices) and we know the tables are so crammed together you have to crawl under them to reach your chair.

You may have also noticed that our menu prices change several times a day (best to check online before leaving home).

Now a word about our fees. In order to keep menu prices low, we have instituted the following extra charges:

  • Coat check: $5 first item, $10 second item, $20 third and additional items
  • Napkins (paper): $1 per person
  • Napkins (cloth): $5 per person
  • Ketchup and mustard: $5 per item per table
  • Booster seats: $10 per child
  • Water refill: $1
  • Second water refill: $2
  • Third and subsequent refills: $3

These fees are subject to change without notice and are non refundable, even if the waiter forgets to provide them.

We regret that we have eliminated placemats, crayons and coloring books for the kiddies, flowers, and those plastic cocktail stirrers (use your plastic spoon please).

And if you’re fed up waiting, next time please try our VIP section (over there, behind the velvet ropes). Here you’ll experience an even better level of service. You’ll note that menu prices are about 10 times higher than in our “economy” section. We realize that most people scoff at the idea of a $700 hamburger deluxe, but to each his own.

A final note: we will be closing off part of the restaurant next month, reducing our seating capacity by 50 percent, and subsequently will be increasing our menu prices. However, we will continue to provide the same level of service you have come to expect. Business has been terrible lately (we have no clue why), and we hope that by providing fewer tables, eliminating staff, and introducing new fees, things will turn around. Fingers and toes crossed!

By now, you’ve probably been waiting quite a while for one of our dedicated “meal attendants” to take your order. Please be advised that because our staff has “timed out” (that’s industry speak for working the maximum number of hours permitted each day) you’ll need to stay where you are until breakfast (see aforementioned contract of dining). We recommend the waffles, priced at $2.95, $3.50, $5.00, $7.60, $9.15, and $10.95 depending on advance purchase.

Thanks for your understanding. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy your night.

George Hobica is the founder of Airfarewatchdog™, the most inclusive source of airfare deals that have been researched and verified by experts. Airfarewatchdog compares fares from all airlines and includes the increasing number of airline-site-only and promo code fares