Pay to pee on Ryanair no joke

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Remember when we called Ryanair’s plans to charge for lavatory access a stunt? Yeah, we do, too. Those were simpler days, I guess. It turns out, that stunt concealed an even larger one. CEO Michael O’Leary announced that the airline will begin charging one pound (around $1.65) for access to the special rooms at the front and back of the plane.

I actually see some restraint on the press-whorish CEO’s part. I expected him to break the fee down by bodily function, charging a premium for what results in a bit more time. After all, time is money, and one person’s long stay could cost a few extra bucks because other passengers may not get their turns.

But, the savvy airline leader is hedging his bets … as he did with the fat tax, which is now off the table (O’Leary calls it “impractical”). No start date has been revealed; only a two-year time horizon was given. But, he does say, “We are serious about it.”

There’s only one way to make this better, and O’Leary’s found it. Instead of charging for the existing abundance, he’s planning to tear a few out of each plan, in order to make room for more seats. This works in two ways. First, there are more people on the plane who become potential piss-payers. Also, there are fewer lavs, creating a scarcity of resources.

Airline complains about fees?!

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Like all airlines, Qantas is looking to cut costs. And, it saw an opportunity by forming partnerships with some of Australia‘s airports. If all were to go according to plan, Qantas could make a dent in its annual airport costs of $544 million (AU$700 million). While some airports are willing to play ball, others (like Sydney and Brisbane) aren’t … leaving an airline to complain about fees, for a change.

Taking a page from the playbook of (in)famous Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary, Alan Joyce (top dog at Qantas) made a rather hostile public announcement, “Airports are very, very good at earning revenues out of everything you could imagine – if they could charge for oxygen at the airport they probably would.”

Joyce and Qantas recently came under fire for charging up to $124 (AU$160) exit row seating and calling it “giving passengers more of an option.” He also says that Qantas is following the trend rather than blazing the trail when it comes to additional fees.

Qantas is facing a loss for the second half of its fiscal year, the first time this has happened since the SARS outbreak in 2003.

Whether Qantas gets relief is immaterial … all that matters is that it’s found a way to pass the buck.

JetAmerica, new Ohio-based budget airline launched today

by Jamie Rhein on

When Skybus folded last year, there were rumblings that it might resurrect but in another form. JetAmerica, a new budget airlines has just launched in Toledo. Is Skybus rising like a phoenix from the ashes? Like Skybus, JetAmerica is borrowing some of Ryanair’s strategies but unlike Columbus’s defunct airline that left behind a hole in airline service and oodles of bills is hoping to avoid Skybus’s folly.

From the description in this article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, there is a similarity that is close to what we’ve heard before except one number has been switched for another. Instead of ten $10 one-way seats on each flight, a hallmark of Skybus’s glory days, JetAmerica flights will have nine seats for $9. I hope 9 is a luckier number.

Instead of looking to Columbus for its start, Toledo was picked as a hub because the airport is no longer served by a major carrier ever since Continental pulled the plug on Toledo service last fall.

The addition of JetAmerica to the Toledo skies is welcome news. First off, people won’t have to go to Cleveland to catch a plane and the hope is that the airlines will attract more business which will help perk up Toledo’s economy.

People who live in Lansing, Michigan and South Bend, Indiana and Melbourne, Florida will also benefit from JetAmerica’s venture since they are part of the initial route set-up, as is Newark, New Jersey.

The only way I see JetAmerica working is if there is a real person on the phone for customer service questions, the flights aren’t canceled due to aircraft troubles, thus leaving people stranded because the airline doesn’t have a relationship with any others, and if the other seats’ costs are not as low or as high as Skybus’s were.

As a person who rode on Skybus once, but had plans for future flights, particularly to Newburgh, New York until the airline dissed me, buying tickets felt like some sort of strange game show. Like if I wait, will I get those $10 seats?

On a note that makes me feel hopeful that this time a budget airline launched in Ohio will succeed, JetAmerica’s first two airplanes, 737-800s are to be leased from Miami Air International until it’s clear that the airline will be a success. The flight crew will also be provided. Also, non-stop service from smaller cities is something I do think people will pay for. Tom Barlow, my good friend over at Wallet Pop has his own opinions about JetAmerica and offers more details about the business end of how this airline will work. I have my fingers crossed since Columbus is on the list for future possibilities. I’m hoping for that inexpensive non-stop to Newburgh.

Flights don’t begin until July 13, but you can book now.

Ryanair: print your tickets at home or not, you pay

by Tom Johansmeyer on

We’re all used to airline fees that punish inconvenient behavior. So, I was beyond impressed when Ryanair found a way to punish the helpful … and punish the helpless. Starting on May 20, passengers will have to pay €10 if they print their own tickets. Essentially, taking matters into your own hands and saving time and expense at the airport will cost you somewhere between $10 and $15.

It sounds like incentive to cause a delay at the counter while you ask thousands of questions while a ticket agent tries to print your pass as quickly as possible. Michael O’Leary & Company thought of this, however, and are charging €40 ($40 to $60, depending on where exchange rates go) for those who try to avoid the €10 fee.

Put simply: the cost of flying Ryanair just went up €10, unless you want it to be up €40.

Fortunately, there is an exception to this rule. If you picked up a €5 fare that includes all fees, you won’t get slapped with any extras.

Online check-in used to be free. Apparently, this “discriminated” against passengers from outside the European Economic Area, as they weren’t able to check in via the web until recently, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald. Key word: weren’t. Now they are. So, the discrimination is gone.

That doesn’t stop Ryanair and its twisted logic, though: the new policy doesn’t discriminate because everybody has to pay!

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Ryanair: get in shape, carry your own bags

by Tom Johansmeyer on

European object of disdain low-cost carrier Ryanair is always looking for ways to save a few bucks. From pay-to-piss to the fat tax, the airline has put forth a stream of ideas that really haven’t gotten off the ground. Well, CEO Michael O’Leary has a new one to add to the list: mandatory luggage self-service.

Under this new model, passengers would carry their bags through airport security and drop them at the steps at the bottom of the plane. Turnaround times remain a concern – as they are for the fat tax. Let’s be realistic: the only people in the airport more likely to screw something up than baggage handlers are the passengers themselves.

If you spend 15 minutes staring at the menu at Sbarro and can’t figure the damned thing out, you probably shouldn’t be trusted to carry your own bags.