Flight delays may be wrinkle in Ryanair fat tax

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary says he’ll only move forward with plans to charge oversized passengers for extra seats if it’s easy. If it slows down the process of checking people in and getting planes pushed back from the gate, he wants no part of making more money.

Surprisingly, O’Leary didn’t comment on whether larger passengers would slow planes down, causing further delays. The media whore controversy-prone CEO – who then wonders why “idiot bloggers” treat him as we do – is known for offering journalists the outrageous and then wondering why they publish it.

Unsurprisingly, O’Leary used the phrase “fat tax” in a press conference. Specifically, “We are not going to introduce a fat tax unless it is easy to administer,” as reported in the Sydney Morning Herald.

While the public actually voted in favor of this measure, it’s nonetheless been a lightning rod for criticism. With typical panache, O’Leary says, ostensibly to critics, that a fat tax is not against the law, which is the company’s usual standard for behavior.

And, when all else fails, “we can make it a safety issue.”

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Ryanair CEO: Swine flu only affects ‘slum dwellers’

by Jeffrey White on

I’m apprehensive about giving any press to the buffoon who runs the Irish budget airline Ryanair. But so adept is Michael O’Leary, the company’s CEO, at making ill-considered statements that its simply too easy to report them.

This is the guy who recently suggested that Ryanair might begin charging for use of its on board toilets, and a while back suggested that the airline might start giving out blow jobs.

Mr. O’Leary today weighs in on the fears surrounding swine flu, saying the virus is only a risk to Asians and Mexicans “living in slums,” according to the Times of London.

Now it’s true that the media are probably hyping swine flu a bit too much, with all the talk of a global pandemic, but clearly this is not just a problem of the slums. Travelers who have vacationed in well developed places like Cancun have returned home to find themselves infected.

“Are we going to die from swine flu? No. Are we in danger of SARS? No. Foot and mouth disease? No. Will it affect people flying short-haul flights around Europe this summer? Thankfully, no,” Mr O’Leary said, according to the Times.

“It is a tragedy only for people living … in slums in Asia or Mexico. But will the honeymoon couple from Edinburgh die? No. A couple of Strepsils will do the job.”

What do you think? Is the media making too much of the swine flu? Will in impact travel?

New Ryanair PR stunt – fat tax and $3 to smoke in the bathroom

by Scott Carmichael on

In the past, I always found Ryanair to be that annoying airline with the wacky CEO. In recent months I’ve started to realize that I was wrong all along – they are brilliant, and they have mastered the art of generating PR.

Ryanair does not care how they make the news, they are the kings of “any PR is good PR”.

It doesn’t matter whether it is news about their porn star flight attendant, or pranks about a paid bathroom – the airline knows how to be in the news.

And what better way to get in the news than posting passenger suggestions for generating extra revenue for the airline!

The top 3 ideas submitted by people at Ryanair.com are:

  1. Excess fee for overweight passengers
  2. $1 for toilet paper with the CEO’s face printed on it
  3. $3 to smoke in a specially converted smokers bathroom

Brilliant! Controversial, and perfectly easy to implement. And also so well timed, just a week after United Airlines decided to start charging severely overweight passengers for 2 seats.

The airline is serious too – they are asking passengers to vote for the best way to charge overweight passengers for this new “fat tax”.

All I can say is – well played Ryanair!

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

by Tom Johansmeyer on

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.

Ryanair flight attendant moonlights in porn

by Tom Johansmeyer on

When the crew yells, “Brace!” one Ryanair flight attendant probably looks for the cameras. London tabloid The Sun (NSFW) alleges that flight attendant Edita Schindlerova (hopefully under a shorter name) moonlights in porn – on video and the web. The sexy 22-year-old also makes an appearance in the airline’s 2009 calendar.

The sultry stewardess wore a bikini and a smear of grease in the calendar, but this would be considered fully clothed at her second job. At night, she operates under the name “Edite Bente” and helps people part with their cash. Thanks to The Sun‘s investigative reporting, a tough job for some reporter, involves baring a pair of 34Bs.

The people she works for have apparently taken a more enlightened attitude than one would expect, saying, “What people do before or after they work for Ryanair, or when they’re not working for us, is entirely their own business.”

He adds a few remarks about putting the comfort and safety of passengers first (without editorializing) and makes a comment about employees being able what to do what they want on their own time, as long as their not breaking any laws. He could have stopped there and remained on the high road, but he had to keep talking: “All this proves is that the best-looking girls fly Ryanair.”

Not everybody at Ryanair, however, is on board with Edita’s calling hobby. Her secret was discovered by a fellow Ryanair employee. Schindlerova claims, “I had this shit a year ago with a pilot with nothing better to do than check the internet.”

A friend from work remarked, “We had no idea what she was up to in her spare time.” This person astutely observed, “There can’t be many airlines who have porn stars serving drinks on flights.”

I guess this is the trade-off for having to pay to use the lavatory on a flight …

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