The Airlines Hate Us

by Jonathon Morgan on

Airlines are treating their passengers worse than ever, with customer service blunders on the rise for the third year in a row. According to the annual Airline Quality Rating, last year saw more people bumped, more bags lost, and more flights delayed than in 2005.

Worst of all, it looks like things will continue to go downhill. An industry spokesman told the Associated Press that because the number of flights is exceeding the capacity of air traffic controllers, “We’re going to see more delays and those delays translate to cancellations, mishandled bags and unhappy passengers.”

United — who’s stranding of passengers for hours on runways wasn’t included because it was weather-related — tied for the most-complained-about airline with US Airawys, while Southwest registered the fewest complaints.

I’m at the point where I almost expect some kind of delay when I’m at the airport. But what about you, is the change noticeable? Any flight-delay horror stories you’d like to share?

Woman Imagines Terrorist Hijacking, Refuses To Stop Using Cell Phone In Flight

by Jonathon Morgan on

Erin Callahan Lambert got drunk and did some really, really stupid things on a flight from Boston to San Francisco last Sunday. Now she’s facing federal charges for making comments about a hijacking, trying to open a cabin door and fighting with flight attendants.

It all started to go awry when Lambert began talking on her cell phone halfway through the flight. When attendants asked her to stop, she became “combative.” Then, she claimed that she was “calling 911 because the plane is being hijacked.”

But it gets better (or worse, I suppose). After the first episode was diffused, Lambert later got up again, this time trying to take her luggage and her pet carrier into the bathroom. When flight attendants confronted her a second time, she said “…you are going to have to kill me and my dog.”

After a brief struggle, the nutcase was finally handcuffed, and, upon landing, turned over to San Francisco airport police. Thank goodness no one was hurt!

Scorpions on a Plane!!

by Iva Skoch on

A man flying on United between Chicago and Burlington, Vermont, was stung twice by a scorpion that made it onto his plane.

TSA agents were able to wrestle the interloper to the deck and rescue the hapless passengers. They frisked the scorpion, wanded him, paraded him through a metal detector, then released him and wished him a pleasant connecting flight.

Shockingly, it’s not the first time. On Sunday, an American Airlines plane from Miami to Toronto was delayed at its destination because a scorpion got on board lacking a passport, and presumably riding without paying full fare.

United Loves You

by Erik Olsen on

And here I
thought United Airlines was all about firing people and streamlining the whole flying
experience to save money. Turns out I was wrong. United Airlines,
according to the Washington Post’s Keith L. Alexander, has partnered with
the customer service consulting firm Valtera to add some smiley-faced pizzazz to it’s business.

The
firm has helped lots of other big-name companies like Starbucks, Ritz Carlton and Nordstom to help employees improve
their customer service efforts. Somehow, I am imagining a big group of United flight attendants standing in a line
repeating "buh-bye" as they smile and wave. But I’m sure it’s more than that.

The effort seems to
come…at least in part…from a survey of how the airlines treat customers and manage their on-time arrivals. In the
survey, United Airlines ranked fifth overall, making it the best-ranked traditional carrier, but behind JetBlue, which
did very well in the survey.