Galley Gossip: Can an average Joe date a flight attendant?

Hi my Name is Mark and I’ve wanted to date flight attendants for years, but like a lot of guys I don’t get the chance to chat with them much. When you see one that’s friendly and smiles a lot and is nice, those are the ones you want to kidnap and take home to mom and can I keep her….LOL. There are many that are snotty and hateful and you want to tell them what they can do with their job. My opinion is that the job gets the best of them and they get big headed. My question is this, is there a dating site where an every day Joe like myself can find a flight attendant for dating? Is there such a thing? Can you write me and let me know or I’ll keep looking, I guess.


The answer is yes, an average Joe can date a flight attendant. Just like an average Joe can date a nurse or a lawyer or a sales clerk or whoever it is Joe wants to date. All he has to do is ask! It all boils down to the approach. Of course Joe’s personality has a lot to do with it, too. Always remember, nice guys get nice girls, and you’ll be fine. They do!

You mentioned that you don’t often get a chance to chat with many flight attendants. Well that’s your first problem, Mark, and it’s a big one! Communication is the key to any relationship, especially if you want it to last. If you aren’t able to say hello and make small talk with the one hovering over your seat waving a beverage napkin, how on earth are you ever going to ask that special someone out? My advice to you is to start by opening the window. What I mean by that is ask a simple question like, are you laying over in (insert city)? Do you know of anywhere good to eat in (insert city or airport)? Ask an open ended question that the flight attendant can easily answer. Simply say something other than what you’d like to drink. Don’t forget to say please and thank you, and try making eye contact when you do so. Kindness goes a long way.
As for kidnapping a flight attendant, I do believe you’re joking. (At least I hope you are) And that’s a good thing – the joking, not the kidnapping! It means you have a sense of humor. Flight attendants prefer fun passengers over miserable passengers. As for taking your flight attendant home to mom and “keeping her,” please don’t use that line ever again. Most women I know won’t find it funny. Only because mom is the last person we want to meet at the end of a long work day. Not to mention, we don’t like to be “kept.” Against our will. In a tent. In the backyard. Regardless of what mom may think. I’m just saying…

It’s unfortunate to hear you’ve come across so many unpleasant flight attendants. But telling a person where to stick their job, regardless of how unprofessional they are, isn’t exactly the best way to react. It’ll only scare off any other flight attendants you may be interested in. Personally, I don’t know many flight attendants who are snotty and hateful with big heads. Big hair, maybe. But a big head? No, not a one. I mean we pick up trash at 30,000 feet for a living from anywhere up to fourteen hours a day after a ten hour layover at a dumpy airport hotel! What I do know are a lot of flight attendants who are tired and hungry and often times treated not very nicely by aggrevated passengers looking to take out their frustrations with the airline on someone, anyone! And that person usually ends up being the flight attendant who gets stuck listening to the complaints for hours on end. Take advantage of that situation, Mark. Be a breath of fresh air and become the guy who understands how hard the job can be. Flight attendants love to be understood.

While there are dating sites like, I recommend using a regular on line dating site. Only because you don’t want to limit yourself to just women who wear navy blue polyester, do you? Keep your options open! You never know who you might meet. Back when I was single and dating on, I dated quite a few doctors who were interested in flight attendants, but I also dated men who were interested in dating just me. I ended up marrying a guy I met the old fashioned way – on a flight. Eight years later we’re still going strong.

If you’re truly serious about dating a flight attendant, Mark, check out the following letter from Lewis, a guy who knows what it’s like, really like, to date a flight attendant, and you might just change your mind. Life with a flight attendant might not be what you think.

Good luck!


PS. Lewis walked down the aisle last year with a wonderful woman who works on the ground, not in the air, and is now living happily ever after.


Dear Heather,

I thought I’d add a different perspective…what it’s like to be the guy who is dating a flight attendant. ALL red-blooded American men dream of dating a flight attendant. My turn finally came and I was in awe. I then was rather surprised that the glamorous life we were led to believe didn’t really exist. I found flight attendants have one of the toughest lives out there, and to this day I don’t understand how they endure it. My suspicions are…those who can’t take it drop out in the first year, leaving those who can.

I had absolutely no idea that flight attendants (god forbid one slip and say stewardess) didn’t merely go to the airport in time for a morning flight, fly during the day, only to return and sleep in their own bed each night. I was introduced to the world of “trips,” “bidding,” and “seniority.” Since Delta hadn’t hired in many years, my particular flight attendant with many years seniority was still at the bottom of the list, meaning her four day trips frequently consisted of frequent short hops.

I was horrified…and mystified…that essentially flight attendants get paid door closing to door opening. ALL that work-heavy time boarding….is their “contribution to the airline.” All the time waiting with the door open for a mechanical delay is on them. All the time waiting for the last granny to deplane and wait for a missing wheelchair…again on them.

They report two HOURS before a flight….out of the “goodness of their heart.” I was even surprised they weren’t paid on layovers. My strongest belief is that flight attendants should be paid from the second they check in on the first day of their flight until the second they check out on the last day of their flight…even if this means the semi-artificial high flying time pay is reduced. I AM aware that those with seniority would take advantage of this and suddenly WANT the short hops, leaving those with less seniority with the longer flights, but even still…I feel that since they are on company time and rules even when on a lay-over…they should be paid.

It’s not as easy as a flight attendant may feel on their companion. They are gone for four days, on a average, for a trip. The night before a trip, gosh forbid their partner turn on the TV…they need their rest….and forget romance that night either. The night they return, they have a desperate need to get rid of the frozen smile on their face, and have zero desire to talk…they HAVE been talking for four days. The first night home, their companion is to have wine, dinner, a hot bath ready and to ready mute, but at their beck and call. Now six out of seven days have been used. The day after a trip, their companion better be darn ready to go out on the town…it’s their night to party, shop, enjoy the town.

I was extremely surprised to find out a flight attendant wasn’t ecstatic to hear from their loved one at length during a lay-over. I THOUGHT, how nice, they’re alone in a room in a hotel, so they would appreciate a long phone call for companionship. Instead they are working at removing the fixed smile, have been talking all day, can’t really have a drink to relax, and basically want to be alone, probably catching a sports event on TV. I was even surprised that sports was big in their lives until it dawned on me….they can’t really get into a TV series, as they will miss so many episodes, so they learn to watch something that is a one-time event.

So, their life is tough, and their companion has to be totally understanding. I was absolutely unable to understand when economic times got tough, that somehow the airlines felt the flight attendants must be the source of their economic difficulties, so removed crew meals. Let me get this straight…away from home, so no access to your own fridge….so you have to BUY a ridiculously-priced airport sandwich? Let me get this straight, no crew meal, so you have to serve meals to all the passengers, but not get to have one yourself? At Least the CEO’s did away with their own corporate dining rooms. (AS IF.)

Then some bright guy figured out….hey, they have nothing to do after passengers deplane, let’s have the FLIGHT ATTENDANTS clean the plane! Ignore the fact that they aren’t getting paid at that point and essentially every flight attendant I’ve ever met has chronic back and knee problems.

Still, I just can’t help it. I still adore flight attendants. I still am in little boy awe of these goddesses of the sky. I think their absolutely PERFECT grooming and make-up is so appealing. (I’m aware that that perfect grooming comes at a price of yet ANOTHER hour of their own time in their room preparing for the flight…but wow, the results!)

I found it funny how basically EVERY flight attendant will name the SAME city-city flight as the horror flight, the OMG NO I have to fly from this one city to THAT one city? MOST of the flight attendants also have the same celebrity they chose for horror stories. I was sad, that even though International flights have the best pay, the best time spent for hours paid, that it wounds flight attendants with the time changes and hours, so they get burned out.

Congratulations on your blog, and keep up the good work.


Galley Gossip: Flight attendant Pam Ann now on tour!

Dear Heather,

I discovered, quite by accident, that the comic Caroline Reid is bringing her “Hostess to the Stars” Pam Ann to the US in October. I searched through the site, used the search function, and couldn’t find anything on your site about this. I just got my tickets for her Los Angeles show. I’m sharing this with you – not trying to sell tickets. I just thought many of my fellow flight attendants and your readers would want to know of the tour. (maybe I’ll catch you at the LA show) I’ve included some tour information and a link.


US dates: Oct. 10 – Boston, Oct.11 – Chicago, Oct.13 – Denver, Oct.15 – Los Angeles, Oct.17/18 – San Francisco, Oct.20 – Dallas, Oct.21 – Houston, Oct.23/24 – Miami, Oct.25 – Atlanta, Oct.26 – Washington DC, and Oct.28 – New York (In November, she will touring the UK. Dates, locations, and tickets through the website above.)

Dear Jack,

I have to tell you, I read the first line of your email and immediately stopped reading and started clicking my way over to Pam Ann’s web site. Sorry, it had to be done, and time was crucial. I wanted good seats! Three minutes and $130 later, I was the proud owner of two tickets to the show, a show I’ve been dying to see forever now. I haven’t been this excited about a comedian in years!
Of course then I went back to yahoo and finished reading your email. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you, Jack, for reminding me about Pam Ann’s tour! I can not believe I’d forgotten all about it because I was just looking up her show dates a few months ago!
For those of you who have no idea who we’re talking about (shame on you!), Pam Ann is an air hostess who mixes drag, camp, and glamour on stage while emphasizing quirks of various airlines around the world in hilarious skits. Performances cater to airline employees and frequent travelers whom she often times includes directly in her shows. Though I love her show, I really don’t want to actually be apart of the show, because that kind of stresses me out – unless of course she needs someone to work the other side of the cart during Cabin Service, my all time favorite skit. Check it out…

Oh you better believe I’ll be touching trolley, touching galley, hopping, and looking oh so busy busy busy, without serving anyone at all, as I reenact the scene above on my next flight. I can’t help it. In fact, I’ve been doing the same routine around the house all day long – touching kitchen counter, touching dining room table, and making meaningless hand signals – ever since I got your email, Jack! The husband, of course, just keeps shaking his head as he watches me not getting anything done at all. He just doesn’t get it. So glad there’s people like you!

See ya at the show!

Heather Poole

Pam Ann photo courtesy of Mike Flokis/Getty Images

Air India fires 10 employees for being fat

State-run Air India gave 10 air hostesses the boot last week for being “exceptionally overweight.”

According to Reuters, a medical board in India had declared them “unfit for duty,” and they had been grounded for two to three years each. Air India finally decided to cut them off — and while several of the air hostesses apparently approached the New Delhi High Court about challenging the firings, the case was quickly scrapped.

This isn’t like back in the 60’s when American flight attendants had to meet almost ridiculous weight restrictions (read our Interview with a Retro Stewardess here), or is it? A five foot 18 year old air hostess for Air India had to weigh under 110 pounds, while hostesses ages 26-30 had a little more leeway at 123 pounds.

The air hostesses, who were between 24 and 70 pounds over their allotted weights, were declared medically incapable of doing their jobs. Now, they are jobless. USA Today spoke with one woman, Sheila Joshi, who had 27 years of service under her blazer.

From USA Today:

The Times notes the move comes as “a new breed” of Indian airlines “aims to entice travellers with promises of svelte cabin crew.” One such carrier is Kingfisher. On that note, flight attendant Joshi says: “Kingfisher was founded four years ago. Its cabin crew are all in their twenties. Let’s see how much they weigh in 20 years.”

Would a five foot tall, 134 pound 18 year old woman pushing a beverage cart really make anyone less likely to fly Air India?

Eesh. I bet Air India wouldn’t want these women on board their planes either (but for different reasons):

Galley Gossip: Boeing Boeing grounded

January 4, 2009 was a very sad day on Broadway in New York City. While it is said that all good things must come to an end, does that really have to include the critically acclaimed Broadway show, Boeing Boeing? I mean this was one trip I didn’t want to end. Ever! But when the doors finally closed and the lights went to black, I was there (along with a full house) to say Buh-bye to an era of glamour and excitement so many people love to recall.

In the comedy, which is based on the movie of the same name (staring Tony Curtis and Jerry Lewis), an American architect living in Paris is juggling three flight attendants – I mean air hostesses – all of whom are his fiancee. How can one man juggle three different women? Easy. You make sure each woman is a stewardess from a different airline – Lufthansa, Alitalia, and TWA. Then you consult a timetable as if it were a bible, marking down each woman’s scheduled layover. Of course to make it run smoothly you must employ an overworked and disgruntled housekeeper who acts more like an air traffic controller. But when an old school chum comes into town things are turned upside down. As most of you know, schedules change and flights get delayed, resulting in turbulent chaos. That’s where the fun began.

While the simple set never changed, the talented cast took the audience on a fun filled ride. In fact, it was so much fun that I was barely conscious of the guy rustling a paper bag full of who knows what in my ear, or that my knees were practically under my chin, and that I could barely move my feet because the seating was so tight – much like a cramped middle seat in coach. Not to mention I purchased the cheap tickets that put me near the ceiling of the intimate, but ornate, Longacre theater, a beautiful theater that was built in 1913.


The talented cast gave an excellent performance. I wonder if they could imagine the impact they had on the audience that night, the night they took their very last bow. As I looked around at all the people standing and clapping enthusiastically, I couldn’t help but wonder how many actually had a connection to a particular airline. Or were they aviation enthusiasts? Or were they just there to see a good show? Probably all of the above. And like that the show was over, the lights went to bright, and we all slowly filed out of the building, Playbill in hand, and onto the cold dark streets of New York.

“Boeing Boeing is done? Over? NOOOO! ” wrote our own Gadling writer, and pilot, Kent Wien when I mentioned I had seen the very last show. “I didn’t get a chance to see it! Is it going to pop up anywhere else?”

Pop up again, it will. Boeing Boeing will be back, touring in the fall of 2009.

Galley Gossip: Flight attendant – still a hot job to date.

What would you do if you were a flight attendant and some young lad said to you, “I like the way you walk?”

Personally, I would have kept on walking. If possible. Because you never know if there’s going to be a 200 pound drink cart blocking your way. But hey, that’s just me.

One New Zealand flight attendant did not walk away when a passenger commented on the way she worked the aisle. Well maybe she did walk, I don’t really know, but what I do know is she took it a step farther and complained about the rugby player from the South Canterbury team when he asked for her number on a flight from Gisborne to Wellington. Again, I don’t have all the details. The article was short. I’m not even sure exactly when the comment pertaining to the walk was made, but at some point the entire rugby team was offloaded and put on another flight. I wonder if she, the flight attendant, liked the way they walked – off the airplane.

On a side note, I can tell you that John, my friend and fellow coworker, would have been very disappointed to have seen that rugby team go. But that’s another story.

The rugby team coach, Ken Wills, claimed the incident was blown out of proportion. He told the Herald Newspaper, “One of the guys was trying to use a pick-up line and exchange text numbers. The boys had a lot of fun on a flight on the way up and one got an air hostess’s number so they were all trying to match him.”

Every year there’s a popular men’s magazine that rates the top ten hot jobs to date, and each year flight attendant makes that list. It’s true. I’ve seen it. If flight attendant is not THE number one hot job, it is definitely one of the top five. When you’re single and dating, this kind of list not only helps to attract Mister Wrong, but also Mister Never-In-A-Million-Years. Trust me, I know from first hand experience. Believe it or not, there are also websites dedicated to the madness, websites like Swear to god. Go look it up if you don’t believe me.

Check out this ad from a lonely guy on Craigslist – Craigslist of all places!

I am the principal of a US based boutique investment bank. I have offices in Shanghai, NYC and Washington DC. I have homes in the US and Shanghai. I am 191 cm, 86 kgs, full head of hair, hazel eyes, and am considered handsome by some. I am absolutely smitten with the elegance of the flight attendants on Singapore Airlines. I spent a great deal of time there, and find myself drawn back time and time again, if not just to fly Sing Air. I would appreciate any introduction… I will share more details of myself and pictures with a reply.

Honestly, I do not see anything wrong with Lonely Guy’s ad. In fact, I’m a little impressed that he knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to ask for it – in an ad. On craigslist. That’s what successful people do. That’s why they’re successful in the first place. I have a very strong feeling that Lonely Guy is going to find his elegant Singapore Girl – in an ad, on craigslist – and I do hope when he does he emails Gadling to tell me all about it! What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart.

While I do have a fondness for Lonely Guy, I’m not so sure what to think of the guy on who wrote…

I am an Arabian male and I have always wanted to find a flight attendant ( Air Hostess ) to go out with. I don’t know if it is a fantasy or the interest in finding a person who toured the world but I want to find one that often flies to the Gulf Area (Saudi, Qatar, Bahrain, UAE, Kuwait) and hook up. Of course I won’t just date any hostess but we got to be interested in each other. .. I just don’t know where to look!? …. Anyone there who is interested or knows where can I look?

Arabian Male, Whadaya mean you have to actually be interested in one another? And you won’t take just ANY hostess, you say? But why not? Yeah, can someone say booty call? What I find even more amusing than the ad above, are the answers to Arabian Male’s question…

Tara wrote, “The obvious place to look would be an airport or better yet fly first class. It seems the first class passengers always get the most attention–then just work your magic. My real advice: Give it up, babe.”

JB wrote, “Go to the airport. Be there 24/7. Whenever a flight attendant pass by you .. say hi .. or pretend to be a passenger and ask a question … simple as that .”
I’d say Tara and JB both gave pretty sound advice. Advice I suggest not to take came from The Player at, who wrote a post entitled How to pick up a flight attendant. I do not know one flight attendant who would fall for his nonsense. And then there was Doc Love’s “interesting” post, Are flight attendants dateable, full of advice on, you guessed it, flight attendants and the game of dating. You did notice the words the game are in italics? Good. Because I’m not even sure what to make of that – game. Believe it or not, the best advice came from the website…
  • Make a great first impression by dressing neatly, instead of going for comfort with sweat pants and flip-flops like many fliers do. Smile, be friendly and try to join in light conversation. Because most fliers tend to ignore flight attendants until they need something, your outgoing personality will quickly catch her eye.Take any opportunity to help her out. For example, if she is struggling to fit someone’s oversize carry-on into the overhead compartment, jump up from your seat and offer to help.

  • Flirt a little, but not so much that she finds you annoying or even threatening. Make eye contact now and then, be polite saying please and thank you. While you want your interest to be obvious, you don’t want to come off as desperate.

  • Remember that flight attendants risk losing their jobs by accepting a date with a client while working. So, instead of directly trying to pick her up while she is surrounded by co-workers and clients, simply slip her a business card on your way off the plane. If desired, you might add a short note to the back of the card. Avoid the temptation to verbally pick her up, as you are sure to get a solid no.

Meeting a flight attendant is one thing, but being able to really date, as in having the confidence and patience to deal with a job that takes your love interest out of town for days at a time, even on the holidays, is quite another. Just ask my husband, a man I met on a flight.