007 Flies Virgin

Product placement has long been a part of the James Bond franchise. The trend will continue with the soon to be released Quantum of Solace, Daniel Craig’s second outing as 007. It is not only Smirnoff and BMW getting in on the shameless promotion this time. Bond will be flying on Virgin Atlantic between the US and UK – in the Upper Class Cabin, of course.

According to the Virgin Atlantic web site, filming took place on board one of their aircraft in January in England. The airline seems to be intent on milking its cameo for all it’s worth. They are even serving a Bond-inspired cocktail in their US and UK clubhouses. No, you won’t hear any orders for shaken-not-stirred martinis. The new drink is called a Vesper. It consists of Bombay Sapphire, Grey Goose and Lillet Blanc. (At least Bond finally realized that Smirnoff is rotgut).

I’m not sure if getting their brand on Bond will bring customers to the airline. I mean, is there really anyone out there who would fly Virgin simply because a fiction character, however dashing and cool, does? Quantum of Solace hits screens on November 14th.

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Galley Gossip: Ivana Trump harasses two little kids on a flight

Ivana, Ivana, Ivana, you do not – I repeat – you do NOT call a child a barbarian. Out loud. On a flight. Oh sure, you can think it, we’re all probably thinking it, but to outright say it….I don’t think so. Not a good idea.

Now I probably would not have believed this story about a passenger who is suing Ivana Trump for calling his two adorable children names – ages 3 and 18 months – or the fact that Ivana has filed her own counter suit against the passenger who created those little barbarians. But the fact that the word barbarian was used to describe two little children, well…that is just so so wrong. Which only means it has to be true!

I mean who else but Ivana would use such a word? Brat. Fine. Terror. Okay. Monster. Sure. But barbarian? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? Which is exactly why I believe this outlandish story. And why I’ll be using the word barbarian as often as I can throughout this post. And on my flights. But only to myself. And maybe the crew. Possibly you. But that’s it.
So anyway, after the children were told to shut up – oh yeah, that’s what Ivana apparently said – the parents asked the flight attendant to get the Captain.
The Captain?
Ummm….okay.

Man oh man, I would have loved to have seen how the Captain handled that little situation. I wonder what our own pilot, Kent, would have done?

Now when I imagine a barbarian passenger, I do not think of two little kids, no matter how terrible they may have acted at 35,000 feet. Oh no. The thought that comes to my mind is a visual of the guy who was sitting in the row behind and across the aisle from me on my flight from Honolulu to Los Angeles last Wednesday. Now that, dear readers, was a barbarian.

He, the barbarian who was big and bald with one of those weird little hair patches sprouting off his chin, had the audacity to ring his call light and yell at the teeny tiny flight attendant for ten minutes about the thirty minute delay we took on the ground. This took place after he had already called the airline while we were on the ground to find out why, EXACTLY, we were still on the ground.

What I wanted to know was why, EXACTLY, he was using his cell phone when were on the tarmac and about to takeoff. And what, EXACTLY, he was trying to prove by pushing his weight, all 250 pounds of it, around.

Of course ripping the airline a new one wasn’t enough. He then went on to complain to the man wearing the dark blue designer jeans sitting beside me about the thirty minute delay. On and on the barbarian went as Mr. trendy nodded in agreement. When he finally stopped, it was only because he had another delay on another airline to complain about, and so on, and so on, until it was finally our turn to grab our things and deplane the aircraft.

“I (BLEEPING) hate this airline,” he growled, as he stepped aside to allow his nine year-old daughter into the aisle.

Barbarians, I tell you, they’re (BLEEPING) everywhere.


You think she’s bad? Get a load of what these women did!

Southwest Rescues Twin Cities from Northwest Monopoly

The Twin Cities have enjoyed fleeting affairs with budget airlines in the past. AirTran provided dirt cheap flights between MSP and Chicago (as low as $59 one-way) for several years. When they left, fares rose considerably. For many people flying out of Minnesota, Northwest is the only game in town. A search on the major booking web sites last week turned up fares of over $500 between MSP and O’Hare. In short, Northwest has travelers trapped in a corner and seems intent on extracting as much money. Sporadic service by budget carriers like Sun Country has done little to alter the trend of high prices. But a deal between Twin Cities Int’l and Southwest Airlines will bring some significant change to the air travel market next year.

Minneapolis has been courting Southwest for some time now. The flirtation got hot and heavy earlier this year, but it took until now to iron out the details. The deal will make Minneapolis the envy of mid-sized markets across the US currently held hostage by a single major carrier.

What exactly is Southwest going to bring?Southwest will bring competition that will completely change the air travel game in the northern Midwest. Southwest is known for its cheap fares and frequent special offers. In order to compete, Northwest and others will have to drop fares. The first Southwest flights from MSP will be to Chicago-Midway (8 per day). From Midway, the airline flies non-stop to 47 cities. Perhaps the plane change will not be a turn on for convenience freaks. But for budget travel aficionados, deals like $59 from Chicago to Detroit and $127 to Vegas are hard to pass up, especially when similar routes now cost three or four times that. In addition, Southwest does not charge for extra checked baggage like Northwest currently does.

Minnesotans will have to wait until next spring for the first Southwest jet to take off. Flights will depart from the MSP’s Humphrey Terminal, a smaller terminal located behind the airport’s main Lindbergh terminal. But, it will be worth the wait for many. As Tom Parsons, owner of bestfares.com, recently told the Minneapolis Star Tribune, “Southwest saw high prices…they could come in and drop your prices like a rock.”

Galley Gossip: What is RIGHT with the airlines? (There’s got to be something!)

When I was growing up, my parents taught me that traveling by airplane was a luxury, not a right, and it was a luxury I would not experience until I was 16 years old when I flew to Los Angeles, California with a high school friend (and her mother) on American Airlines for an exciting weekend getaway. I’ll never forget that flight. Then, at 17, I flew to Santa Clara, California, to visit a boyfriend in college on Southwest Airlines. I’ll never forget that flight, either. I couldn’t even believe I was on it. Back then just being on the flight itself was an exciting experience, never mind the drinks and the food and the service, which I don’t even remember. But I’m sure a can of coke and a bag of peanuts were involved.

What I remember most about those two flights was the awe of flying, of looking out the window at the tiny houses below as we climbed up, up, up, until the incredible view became obstructed by something even more magnificent, billowing clouds.

A few years ago I actually met a flight attendant whose very first trip by airplane was to airline headquarters for an interview for the airline he works for now. That flight took place at age of 21. Today, things have changed drastically in the aviation business, and not for the better, if you ask a passenger. Yet the flights are all full, and with more and more children traveling these days. That, alone, makes me wonder, has travel really gotten so bad? Or are our expectations skewed?

“I never got to travel,” said my mother, a flight attendant, who started working for a major US carrier in 1997, three afters I had my wings pinned to my blue lapel. “My first flight was with your father to Hawaii, when I was 21, because your father got stationed there in the navy. I got to go home to Texas once – in three years. And because your father spent most of his time at sea, I spent many holidays alone. That’s just the way it was. We couldn’t afford to travel.”

Now that I’m a flight attendant and have the opportunity to fly for free (in coach), I usually take along my two-year son, who has traveled once a month, at least, since he was born. I always get a kick out of watching him leaning against the window, tapping on the glass, as we fly in and out of the clouds, causing him to exclaim at the top of his lungs, “WOW!” I wonder if he’ll grow up to appreciate the privilege of travel? I do hope that one day he realizes just how lucky he is. How lucky we all are to be able to get from point A to point B for just a few hundred dollars.

As someone who works for a major US carrier, someone who has to deal with the me me me first attitude of the flying public, passengers who expect something for nothing when fuel prices keep rising and ticket prices remain fairly low, I have to say, there’s something wrong with THAT. There’s something wrong when you can purchase a one way ticket from New York to Las Vegas for lower than a cab ride from New York’s JFK international airport to Manhattan. NOT WHEN everyone and their mother (as well as the kids) are traveling on my flight.

Not that I mind that everyone and their mother (along with the kids) are aboard my flight, just the opposite, in fact. Especially when airlines are struggling to stay afloat, when airlines like Alitalia are on the verge of going out of business. However, it’s not easy for me to listen to all the complaining about air travel, particularly about customer service. Seriously, I have hard time believing that flying is all that bad, no matter how much the airline charges per bag, how long the security lines, how small the seats, or how much it costs to purchase a sandwich, or how old the flight attendant. And why does the age of a flight attendant even matter? (This is the 2000’s, is it not?)

After reading letters from readers who responded to the question, What’s wrong with American Airlines? on the Dallas Morning News website, I am forced to pose the question, what is RIGHT with the airlines? I mean whatever happened to the glass is half full mentality? It seems like these days all people want to do is complain, complain about everything, particularly when it comes to bashing airlines and flight attendants. Come on now, there has to be SOMETHING good about air travel, right?

Cast your bet on next airline to go bankrupt — need a bookie?

Irish bookie Paddy Power is now taking bets on when your favorite airline is going to go bankrupt. Yes, with a little clever banking you too can now sell United Airlines short at 20:1 odds and hope that the carrier goes belly up. The top five favorites and odds?

  • Alitalia: 8:15
  • Spanair: 9:2
  • SkyEurope: 5:1
  • AirBerlin: 5:1
  • FlyGlobespan: 5:1

Surprisingly all of them are European airlines — but perhaps that’s because Paddy Power is an Irish entity. What are their (least) favorite US carriers?

Yes, they even have odds on Air Force One at 1000:1. “Hogwash!” you say, “That’s pure craziness!” Well, tell that to the guy who put $100 down on Giacomo in the 2005 Kentucky derby and won $5,030.

While the crazy odds on the president’s aircraft may be a bit of a joke, Paddy Power does lend some interesting insight into the market conditions in which we now reside. As we saw last week, erroneous news that United had gone bankrupt triggered a massive selloff resulting in the temporary suspension of the stock. That dive wouldn’t have happened if investors didn’t believe that the news was true.

Moving those shares out of the airline industry and into Apple doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore, does it?