Galley Gossip: Italy: Prepare for takeoff.

by Heather Poole on

“Want to go to Italy?” The husband asked.

“Umm…I don’t know…Yes. As in YES YES YES!” I exclaimed. And then I added, “But I’m not flying standby.” Because I wasn’t. And I was ready to stand my ground.

“Yeah, well me neither,” he said, and that was that.

When The Husband and I decided to go to Italy on our vacation last month, we actually purchased our tickets, even though I can fly standby for free. Why? Because we wanted to go to Italy, remember? We actually wanted to make it to the land of wine and cheese and olives and pasta and prosciutto served with a loaf of crusty bread.

What we didn’t want to do was get stuck sitting around an airport for days praying that two people wouldn’t show up for their flight. Oh no, we wanted to get fat from drinking wine and eating cheese and olives and pasta and prosciutto with a loaf of crusty bread in Venice, Rome, and Positano. Not from cheeseburgers and pizza at the JFK food court. And not only did we have plans to eat our way through Italy, we also planned on getting back home when the vacation came to an end. Oh the joys of stand-by travel…

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Because The Husband flies over 100,000 miles a year, we were able to use his frequent flier miles to bump us up to business class, where you can usually find me working. Did I happen to mention this was a dream trip, a trip we’ve been planning for years, a trip that was supposed to be our honeymoon trip five years ago things got screwed up and we wound up in Playa Blanca, a teeny tiny town near Zihautanejo. The war had just broken out and someone was afraid to travel too far from home for fear of getting stuck, since that same someone had gotten stuck in Zurich with her mother for two weeks immediately following 9/11.

Okay okay, so there are worse places to get stuck than Zurich, I know, but when you’re a flight attendant and make a flight attendant salary, it’s very easy to go broke on cappuccino and croissant alone. Though there are worse ways to go broke, I guess.

The best part about actually buying a ticket on a flight, opposed to standing-by for free, is that you get to choose your seat. A window seat, that’s what I chose, and that’s exactly what I got. Man, I couldn’t wait to get on that airplane. And sit. Not work. And watch movies. As others worked. While I sat. Not working. I did mention that this was my dream trip, right? Oh yeah, trust me, that’s part of the dream. I couldn’t wait to take off from JFK at dusk, my favorite time of day, and look out my window, camera in hand, from a business class seat. Not the jumpseat. I couldn’t wait to see a breathtaking view of New York City. Not the first class closet. Or the business class galley. Or the nasty coach carpet. Or the flight attendant sitting next to me. No offense to the flight attendant sitting next to me, whoever that flight attendant may happen to be. I couldn’t wait to….oh you get the picture. Speaking of pictures, here’s a few from our flight from New York to London, where we transferred to another flight that would take us to Venice.

Should airlines charge you by your weight?

by Grant Martin on

With all of the cutbacks and extra fees in the airline industry over the past few months, it’s difficult not to think about weight on an aircraft per passenger. That’s why airlines unilaterally increased baggage fees earlier this year — more weight requires more fuel which is makes the flight more expensive to operate. If you can encourage passengers to pack lighter or less, the carrier will save money.

But what if airlines charged by not only the weight of the luggage but also by the weight of the passenger? One analyst consulted by the popular world and economics website Bloomberg has ventured into the uncharted territory of charging by passenger weight. Robert Mann, aviation consultant at R.W. Mann & Co suggests that it’s the “next logical step”, given that airlines are basically treating passengers and their luggage alike as freight.

So you would step up to the ticket counter, weigh your checked luggage, send it away then weigh yourself and your carry on to determine your ticket price. You and your luggage weigh 200 lbs? Your ticket is 200$. You and your luggage weigh 300? 300$.

Admittedly, the article speaks with another aviation consultant, David Swierenga, who points out how unrealistic the idea is — and since Bloomberg is a careful media source I imagine they didn’t elaborate on purpose.

Why would this idea never work? America is overweight. We would FLIP OUT if a policy like this was ever adopted, the airline in question would get the pants sued off of it and the carrier would be dead before it even started. It’s not too hard to portray “charging by weight” as “discrimination against overweight people”.

Airlines will just have to keep coming up with other crafty ideas to make profit until jet fuel returns to normal. Stay tuned for the next ridiculous fees that they come up with.

Anti Jetlag Diet — another way to prevent jet lag?

by Grant Martin on

People are always trying to figure out ways to get around jet lag, the discomfort felt after traveling several hours on an aircraft. With symptoms as varied as loss of appetite, nausea, headaches, fatigue, irritability and depression, I suppose they have a reason to study the phenomenon.

Jet lag affects everyone, which is part of the reason that it’s so difficult to diagnose and treat. Everyone seems to have their own way to combat it and a variety of holistic, word-of-mouth and downright ridiculous methods are out there to get you through your ordeal.

Take the Anti Jetlag Diet. Invented by Charles Ehret, a scientist at Argonne National Laboratories, just outside of Chicago, the diet claims to relieve the stress of jet lag by preparing your body for the new time zone that you’re about to be in. Travelers are recommended to eat in a feast and famine style for several days before departure, gorging oneself one day, then eating trim the next — all on a adapted schedule that should hopefully integrate with your destination time zone (once you get there).

The thought is that by preparing the body for food cycles properly prior to departure you’ll have more ease adapting to the new system.

But will it work? I dunno. I’ve always felt that jet lag cures were like weight loss pills: it’s more in the body and mind than some trick or medication. Lots of sleep, physical activity and a gallon of coffee per day work just fine for me.

I guess what scratches me the wrong way about antijetlagdiet.com is how much they stress their ties with Argonne Labs, who are not generally commercial entities (think Sandia or Los Alamos). It makes me think of all of those weight loss pills that were “developed by doctors” but not approved by the FDA.

But hey, I’m just a kid who writes articles. Someone give the anti jet lag diet a try and let me know how it goes — especially if it works well.

European Union regulators approve in-flight mobile phone use

by Grant Martin on

It is officially starting to happen — this morning, EU authorities approved the use of cell phone calls in flight, thus opening the floodgates for widespread mobile phone service and development on all European carriers.

You may recall that last month Emirates, the Dubai based luxury carrier boasted the first cruising-altitude mobile service on their aircraft and that several carriers in the United States are tinkering with the same technology. The difference in these cases is that by and large these services are limited to particular flights and routes.

These new rules applied in the EU essentially let any carrier develop and implement any technology to their liking. So you can expect several carriers to come up with several different means of communicating over the course of the year. It also means, however, that the airlines will have authority over the service. Your mobile signal will come from the aircraft, so the crew will have the ability to restrict or remove service at their discretion. And they will also have the ability to charge for it.

But at what rates? Will standard minute and roaming fees apply? Will the airlines charge extra for the privilege of crackberrying at 30,000 ft? There’s no official word on service and rates yet, but considering airlines are now charging to be nice to you, I wouldn’t doubt if we had to pay.

Either way, don’t expect your KLM flight to turn into a chatterbox immediately. Carriers need to integrate service at cruising altitude (ground towers usually don’t reach to 30,000 feet at 600MPH, especially if you’re over water) and unroll their own rules and regulations. Enjoy your silence while you have it.

Japan to home-grow new jet

by Abha Malpani on

It is said that a country’s aviation industry is not complete unless it can produce its own aircraft — hence the importance of “home-grown” jets. I have to add here that that is the most blah term given to a domestically manufactured plane that strengthens the nation’s economy and technological prowess, but hey who am I to make judgment?

Japan announced today that it would have its first home-grown passenger aircraft ready by 2013 and has a $1 billion plan in place. The 70-90 seater planes will be “grown” by Mitsubishi Heavy Industries and will target the short/medium-haul regional market. According to AP: this will be the first nationally funded, “made in Japan” passenger aircraft in three decades.

Surprisingly, China beat Japan to it by unveiling their first home-grown jet in December last year.