Make your flight (and mine) easier this holiday season

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The holidays are coming, and people will be flying. If you’re one of them, instead of feeling angry and entitled in every line in which you late, make a concerted effort to improve your surroundings. No, I’m not talking about picking up garbage or holding the door for some old lady who will punish you with tales of her grandchildren’s accomplishments. Take small steps to become more efficient. You-and everyone around you-will spend less time in line, and you might just be almost happy with your trip.

Rule #1
If you see someone who looks like he travels regularly, do what he does. If he takes his license out of his wallet before reaching the security line, you should too. Did he just remove his laptop from his bag? Guess what … you’ll probably want to take yours from your bag. You can’t go wrong by copying someone who’s obviously smarter than you are.

Rule #2
Don’t prepare for the security stop when you’ve already bellied up to the X-ray machine. While you’re in line, do the following:

1. Pull your laptop out of your bag (if you have one)
2. Take your ID (license or passport) out of your pocket, bag, etc.; hold it with your boarding pass
3. Empty your pockets into your carry-on; do the same with your watch, cell phone and any heavy jewelry
4. Remove your shoes, and carry them on top of your laptop
5. Repeat #4 with your coat and hatNow, you have a stack of personal belongings on top of your laptop. Carry them like you did your books back in grade school. You can drop the laptop into one bin for the X-ray machine, pick up the clothing and drop them in the next bin. It’s fast. It’s easy. It doesn’t leave you screwing around while people are waiting.

Rule #3
Unless you’re moving, don’t pack like you’re moving. If you can’t carry it, don’t bring it. This is just common sense. Bringing gifts to family members you see rarely? Mail the packages. Hell, with the cost of extra baggage right now, it’s probably cheaper to engage UPS for this anyway.

Rule #4
Eating at the food court instead of home? This makes sense. After all, the long lines force us all to go to the airport earlier … just in case. There are more of us than usual, and we’re all friggin’ hungry. So, why the hell does someone who’s in line for an hour wait, ponder and stutter when placing an order? Next time you’re jammed up at Wendy’s, use those 30 minutes in line to think about what you want. By the time someone asks if you want fries with your burger, you should already know the answer.

Rule #5
Forget every rule of good parenting. Sometimes, you need to let your kid cry to learn a lesson. Here’s the problem: we don’t need to learn that lesson, too. Do what it takes to keep your kid under control. If that means coloring books, candy or … dare I say it … active parenting, do it. Do what it takes. Your round trip involves two days of your kid’s childhood. Whatever you do for the sake of expediency will not make a lasting impression.

Rule #6
Know when to quit. We all love to scream at airline employees, and we know they are lying to us. When they say that weather caused the problem on a sunny day, when they say that there are no more exit row seats, when they say the flight is overbooked … we just know it’s bullshit. So, we fight. Sometimes, it works. Appeasement in the form of flight vouchers, hotel stays and free meals sometimes flow. But, at a certain point, you need to know when to stop. If you’re on a full flight of people with super-triple-platinum status (and you’re not), don’t expect to get a damned thing. Accept that you will lose.

Fighting the good fight is okay, but at a certain point, you lose the crowd’s sympathy. Be aware that people who look like serial killers don’t often get what they want (or need).

You’re more likely to have a safe and happy holiday season if you follow my advice. So, I wish you all the best in the coming weeks, and I encourage you not to be a moron once you pass through those automatic sliding doors. It happens to all of us, but maybe if we all make that genuine attempt not to make airport life worse, we’ll all have a better time.

Is the TSA too rough with your stuff?

by Meg Massie on

While waiting in line, just about everyone bitches and moans about the airport security screening process. But of the over 500 million fliers this year, only 12,000 have filed official complaints with the Transportation Security Administration. The rest of us just air our grievances on our blogs.

The number one complaint this year is that the TSA screeners mishandle personal property. This includes when items get damaged in the screening process, as well as lost and stolen. A TSA spokeswoman insists that the agency takes theft very seriously, and that the “TSA has let officers go who’ve taken 50 cents out of a bowl.” It’s good to know they care — but we’re not impressed with how long it took them to catch one agent who had stolen over $200,000 worth of travelers’ property.

The second largest complaint the agency gets is reports of rude treatment. Most TSA agents I’ve crossed paths with recently have been perfectly friendly, but it just takes one meanie to leave a long lasting bad taste in a traveler’s mouth — and most security lines have at least one meanie, I’ve noticed.

If you have complaints for the TSA, they urge you to share your comments on their official website, www.tsa.gov. You can also call with complaints or fill out comment cards at the airport.

TSA to Create new Green “Family” Lane

by Grant Martin on

As holiday travel kicks into high gear, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has unveiled another tier to their security line scheme for getting passengers through checkpoints efficiently.

The basic system instilled earlier this year is currently called the “black diamond” self select system, which effectively attempts to separate passengers at the security checkpoint into groups. Those who know what they’re doing, or the experienced travelers move (quickly) through the black diamond line while the casual or inexperienced traveler will move (slower) through a separate blue square line.

Now there is a third group: The Green Circle line is designed for families traveling together and for those with medical liquids over 100mL. Theoretically, I suppose this would also be the slowest.

Note, if you have liquids still adhering to the 3-1-1 rule, you should still go through your regularly scheduled line.

In concept, black diamond self select system is a good idea, stratifying the hurried, experienced traveler away from the casual, relaxed passenger who takes his or her time at the checkpoint. But in practice, does it work? Say you’re a casual traveler, are late for your flight and show up to find that the black diamond line is 1/4 the length of the blue square line. You’re going to go to the short, line, right? Will things equalize out independent of line designation?

For the sake of less mayhem at the security checkpoint, I hope it works out. Stay tuned for some reports from the field.

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New TSA rule aims to improve security and cut down on hassle

by Meg Massie on

Up until now, airline passengers have only been required to provide as much as their first initial and last name to get a plane ticket. However, due to the high rate of false matches to names on the government’s terrorist watch list, passengers will soon be required to provide their full name and birth date before they can fly.

If your name resembles a name on the watch list, you might get held up at security. It has happened to Senator Edward Kennedy as well as to numerous children, but the TSA says that if they have a full name and birth date for every passenger, they won’t get all the false matches they get with the current first initial and last name system.

Airlines have resisted because of the cost and hassle of updating their computer systems, but as of July 2009, full names will be mandatory. Travelers who book flights without giving all the required information will be unable to print or receive boarding passes until they confirm the missing information with an airline ticket agent.

While the TSA is confident that the new procedure will greatly reduce false matches, it’s not clear that it will actually improve security. Security expert Bruce Schneier says terrorists could get around the rule by buying a ticket using someone else’s name.

Yet another TSA failure – missing uniforms and badges

by Scott Carmichael on

Several days ago I wrote about a TSA inspector who was helping himself to expensive items from our luggage. And today, a report issued by a government watchdog agency reveals that TSA staffers also seem to be pretty lax when it comes to items provided to them by their employer.

One of the most startling pieces of news in the report is that ex-TSA workers are not always returning their security badges, which can be used to enter “sterile areas” of the airport. They are also frequently keeping their uniforms. Amazingly, the TSA does not always seem to be in a hurry to get them back.

To me, this news just adds to the incompetence that is the Transportation Security Administration. In any corporate environment, access badges are linked directly to the HR system. When a staff member is terminated, or leaves the company, their badge has to be returned and it is deactivated. I find it beyond comprehension that ID badges used by people with access to the airport are not controlled by a central organization or that they don’t get the police involved when badges or uniforms are not promptly returned.

At the same time you and I are being searched for illegal bottles of water and nail clippers, there are TSA airport ID’s and uniforms unaccounted for. Forget the threat from the traveling public, before you know it we’ll need a TSA for the TSA.

As usual, TSA chief Kip Hawley is taking matters “seriously” and he announced that the “TSA shares the interest in improving their processes”. Thankfully there is some legislation in the pipeline that should increase oversight of who gets into the airport. In light of recent events, I also hope they take a close look at what gets out of the airport.

Souce: USA Today

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