SkyMall Monday: Fake TV Burglar Deterrent

Going on vacation should be a stress relief. Putting your job, chores and responsibilities aside for a break from your everyday routine is just what everyone needs. However, leaving your home unattended can be a worrisome endeavor. Sure, you could get a housesitter, but that requires you to trust someone not to rummage through your things, steal your valuables and seduce your cat. Whenever I go away, I worry that someone will break into the SkyMall Monday headquarters and steal all of my favorite gadgets. That fear leads to sleepless nights on the road. So, how can we protect our homes and deter would-be thieves? Thankfully, SkyMall understands our concerns and has just the thing to put our minds at ease and keep our homes safe when we’re traveling. The next time you leave home for a vacation or business trip, you can rest easy thanks to the Fake TV Burglar Deterrent.When I was a kid, my parents would typically leave various lights on in our house when we went away. This would give the appearance that we were home at all times (and that we never slept). As technology advanced, we put the lights on timers, so that it did appear as if the humans in the house were alive and keeping some sort of normal schedule. However, any criminal casing the neighborhood could probably tell that no one was actually home. Since Home Security Decoys were not an option, leaving lights on was the only viable way to deter criminals. The Fake TV Burglar Deterrent takes that strategy to the next level by simulating the flickering light of a television, thus giving your home that “lived in” feel.

Think that a home security system is more than enough to keep your house safe? Believe that no criminal worth his salt will fall for a decoy? Well, while you’re filling out a police report, we’ll be reading the product description:

Using super bright LEDs, the Fake TV Burglar Deterrent Device simulates the light and flickering of a real 27″ HDTV while consuming up to 50 times less power. From outside your home, this fake tv gives the illusion that someone’s inside, so burglars will go elsewhere…make sure the fake TV is not visible from outside.

Burglars will think that you’re home and not wealthy enough to afford a very large television. Most thieves want at least a 32″ TV screen. And, of course, leaving the decoy out of plain sight is probably a solid idea.

Sure, home security systems can keep your home safe, but they aren’t your only option. I’d much rather trust my home to a flickering light than a sophisticated monitoring system. Especially since someone could always just kick in your door.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Check the alarm upon arrival – Hotel tip

I don’t know if it’s the maid setting the room’s alarm clock as a prank, or the occupants prior to my stay. In any case, too many times I have been abruptly awakened to a blaring alarm or loud music booming at my head from the nightstand.

Not the best way to start off a relaxing vacation.

Therefore, it’s become my custom to check — and turn off! — the room-provided alarm clock when I first arrive so there will not be any surprises at dawn. Or worse: at pre-dawn.

[Photo: Flickr | Robert S. Donovan]

SkyMall Monday: Voice Interactive Travel Clock

Some people prefer their favorite radio station. Others opt for an impossible-to-ignore beeping. For some, it’s the sunlight pouring through their windows. For parents, it’s often the screams of children. Whatever wakes you up, it’s imperative that it’s at the correct time. Being late for meetings, flights or circumcisions can lead to embarrassment, fees and foreskins. But what happens when you travel and you need to be roused at a specific time? Sure, you could rely on the hotel’s alarm clock…or the alarm on your watch…or a wake-up call…or the alarm on your phone…or a call from your spouse, but who wants to take the risk of those things not working? Surely, there must be a better way to ensure that you are up and at ’em on time. Thankfully, SkyMall knows that your watches, phones and spouses are about as reliable as Tiger Woods. So, rather than leaving things to chance, they’ve come to the rescue for people with places to go, people to see and penises to snip. And that’s why SkyMall Monday is thrilled to endorse the Voice Interactive Travel Clock.Watches are stuck to your wrist and can be muffled by pillows. Phone batteries die. Wake-up calls are contingent on you knowing what to do when that ringing sound emanates from the phone. And the alarm clocks at hotels are most likely covered in semen (like everything else in your hotel room). It’s best to bring your own alarm clock that doesn’t require the use of your hands (since it, too, is probably covered in semen – like everything else in your luggage).

Think that there are plenty of alternatives for waking up that don’t require you packing your own alarm clock? Think that packing an alarm clock with standard buttons and switches would suffice and that an alarm clock that responds to voice commands is gimmicky and useless? Well, I bet all of your belongings aren’t even covered in semen. Liar. Let’s take a look at the product description:

Unlike the confounding bedside clocks found in many hotel rooms, this travel alarm clock operates by verbal commands, making it as easy to set up as a wake-up call. Its advanced speech recognition technology responds to 10 spoken commands such as “set time,” “set alarm,” and “today’s date?” with clear and accurate verbal answers.

It’s the alarm clock of the future…today! I bet it would look great next to a bowl of Dippin’ Dots. And lest you think that Gadling doesn’t know about the future of alarm clocks, we were working the voice interactive clock beat months ago.

Look, you can say that a voice activated alarm clock is a gimmick. But you can also explain to the Greenbaum family why their mohel was late to little Shlomo’s briss. I’m guessing that won’t go over so well. Best to keep your hands clean and your alarm set with the Voice Interactive Travel Clock.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Daily deal – Belkin laptop lock/alarm free after $10 rebate + free shipping

My daily deal for today is for the Belkin Audible USB Laptop alarm/lock. This device plugs into a USB port on your laptop, and produces a loud alarm if your laptop is disconnected or the cable is cut.

The alarm is activated by removing the included key , and deactivated by inserting it again.

Alarm units like this are perfect if you leave your laptop in a hotel room, or if you need to step away from your table in the airport lounge for a few minutes. The bright orange plug and cable are bound to scare off any thieves.

This item normally retails for $24.95, but has it on sale today for just $10, with a $10 mail in rebate. They even throw in free shipping, making it 100% free after the rebate.

Needless to say, deals like this don’t last very long, so don’t delay, and get your order placed as soon as possible!

The deal itself is here and the required rebate form can be downloaded here (PDF form).


The Doorstop Alarm: 125db of Pulsating Terror

Once when I was in college, some prankster pulled the alarm in the middle of the night, and everybody filed outside and stood in the cold, waiting for the building to be declared safe. Well, everybody except me, that is. I slept straight through the alarm — and the unit was right outside my dorm room. I guess you could say I was a heavy sleeper. I don’t really sleep that deeply any more, but the Doorstop Alarm may be the perfect gift for the heavy-sleeping traveler on your list.

Designed in the shape of a regular door stop, the fabulously-named Doorstop Alarm is placed behind a door. If the door is opened, the alarm gives off a pulsating 125db shriek. Just as an FYI, 125db is somewhere between Propeller Aircraft (“Threshold of Pain”) and Riveting Hammer (“Threshold of Feeling”). In other words, it’ll probably wake you up — and nearly give you a heart attack. As an added bonus, you can always slip the alarm into your pocket and “accidentally” set it off during dinner when the snotty waiter doesn’t come around to bring the check. (“Misseur, you want ze bill now?”)

For use with a single 9-volt battery, a Doorstop Alarm runs in the neighborhood of $14. Conveniently, it features an on/off switch so the alarm doesn’t accidentally go off in your luggage — and nearly give the baggage handler a heart attack.