World’s Largest Penis, Um, Erected

Longwan Shaman is an amusement park in north-central China. Recently, Longwan (sounds like “long one”) erected what it claims is the world’s largest penis. Made of straw and steel, the giant phallus is a monster-sized 30 feet high — and it stands on top of a 1250-foot-tall hill, meaning the head of the penis towers .2424 miles over nearby Changchun city. I don’t know if there’s any significance in that number; I just wanted to use my head.

Dubbed “Sky Pillar,” the giant wiener is — according to park officials — “a totem of Shamanistic culture, which originated in this city.” Shi Lixue, director of the China Folk Culture Association, chimed in and extended his, er, approval, by claiming that the over-sized grass pecker “symbolizes our ancestors’ pursuit of happiness and prosperity.”

No word yet on how the giant pit — just a few meters away — is coming.

More Very Weird Amusement Parks

Our recent post on Very Weird Amusement Parks was wildly popular. We got emails, phone calls, and love letters from adoring fans the world over. Rather than settle for the love we got, though, we needed more, More, MORE!

Consequently, today we bring you More Very Weird Amusement Parks, 5 more offbeat and unusual theme parks for your summer vacation.

Enjoy — and book early!

The Ocean Dome
Leave it to the Japanese to create the world’s largest indoor water park. Massive enough to surf in, Miyazaki’s Ocean Dome — part of the sprawling Phoenix Seagaia Resort — makes a bigger splash than anything else on the planet.

According to Ron Gluckman, the Ocean Dome features a “heated ocean with a width of 140 meters [that] sends 13,500 tons of salt-free water sweeping across 600 tons of polished marble chips that constitute a 85-metre long shoreline, ringed by a three-story promenade of shops.” The Dome also boasts its own rain forest; a volcano that erupts every hour; and a massive beach. Don’t think the Ocean Dome is weird? What about the fact that this indoor beach is located less than 1000 feet from a real beach!

Strangely, brochures for the Ocean Dome tout the fact that it “is a place where we can feel that we are part of nature.” I guess that’s because it features a retractable roof. On clear days, they even let the sun shine in! Ah…nature.

To see what the Ocean Dome looks like, check out these images, or watch this commercial announcing the grand opening.

Grutas Park (a.k.a., Stalin World)
Lithuania’s Grutas Park is large on history, but small on “amusement.” This 20-acre park, located 75 miles south of Vilnius, Lithuania’s capital, recreates life under Stalin.

Grutas features a zoo, a small playground — and 82 Communist-era sculptures positioned along a 1.2-mile-long exposition, where guard towers, fragments of concentration camps, and remnants of Siberia have been lovingly positioned. Also featuring an electrified fence and wooden guard posts, visitors enter a gulag similar to the one to which 360,000 Lithuanians were sent. Hopefully, you have to be “this tall” to take this particular ride.

Operated by Viliumas Malinauskas — former heavyweight wrestler and current canned-mushroom tycoon — Grutas’ statues have been donated by the country’s cities, anxious to distance themselves from unhappier times.

Mukluk Land
Decidedly low-tech, Alaska’s Mukluk Land features the large Alaskan cabbage, the world’s largest mukluk, the world’s largest mosquito, and an assortment of odd displays, including a large yurt and a collection of large, rusting snowmobiles. It also has Skee Ball.

Named after the traditional soft boots worn by native Alaskans, Mukluk Land — 350 miles northeast of Anchorage along the Alaska Highway– is like walking through a larger-than-life history book of this larger-than-life state.

If you want to live large at Mukluk Land, though, you have to plan you trip carefully: this frontier-style amusement park has a very small window of operating hours. It’s only open June through August.

Love Land
If you thought Mukluk Land was a bit limp, I’m guessing you’re going to get excited about South Korea’s “Love Land.” Located on Cheju Island (known locally as “Honeymoon Island”), the Park features all manner of porn-y memorabilia and art, from giant golden statues dripping with carnal abandon, to something called, um, “most big penis.”

Particularly beautiful at night when aglow, this couples-friendly amusement park was erected (tee hee) to help show newly-married lovers the proverbial ropes. After looking at some of the displays, though, I wonder if these ropes didn’t scare them more than they encouraged them!

For some insightful penetration into Love Land, check out Spiegel. For probing and NSFW (if X-rated statues can get you in trouble) photos of Love Land, check out either Flickr or Ebaum’s World.

Amora
South Koreans aren’t the only people who think sex = amusement. It turns out the Brits are into sex-themed amusement parks, too. The recently-opened Amora sexual theme park aims to offer an “upscale, grown-up way of looking at, and discovering, sex.”

Amora London has no electronic rides. However, the organizers are hoping that the, um, mental ride through the tactile displays of life-sized silicone models will be enough to stimulate interest in erogenous zones. Boasting exhibits with provocative names like Sensorium, Sexplorium, Amora Sutra, Love & Desire, Amorgasm, Taste Amora, Fantasy & Fetish, and Aphrodisiac Lounge, this amora-sment park also offers hands-on workshops designed to inspire, educate, and entertain (read: stripper classes).

With exhibits like the Spankometer, an orgasm tunnel, and a wall sporting dozens of molded genitals, Amora is one wild ride that’ll leave you panting for more. Want more? Check out The Sun’s video tour of Amora.

Very Weird Amusement Parks

Recently, I read about Roswell, New Mexico’s intention to build the Alien Apex Resort, a UFO-themed amusement park, complete with an indoor roller coaster that’ll take passengers on a simulated alien abduction. With a price tag hovering around $800 million and a target completion date of 2010, there are lots of factors that could slow down the construction of this weird amusement park.

Until Alien Apex opens for abductions, er, business, we thought we’d point out some other unusual amusement parks already ready to show you a good time.

The Nintendo Amusement Park
The Nintendo Amusement Park is a real-life obstacle course that players navigate using a power-assist harness. The park features nothing digital, nothing projected, and nothing virtual: both the power harness and the moving parts of the obstacle course are entirely mechanical, giving a player the feeling of being inside a classic video game.

Though it’s still largely a prototype, if you’re interested in trying it out, they’re looking for volunteers in the NYC area to dress as Mario and jump around! Check out this video; it looks like fun!

BonBon-Land
Denmark’s fourth largest amusement park is BonBon-Land, an amusement park that’s based on a Danish confectionary that makes candy featuring unusual objects and animals.

In addition to some pretty racy attractions and numerous vomiting rodents, visitors to BonBon-Land can enjoy elegantly-named rides, such as The Horse Dropping; The Crazy Turtle (who looks like he’s just about to puke!); and — my favorite — Hundeprutterutchebane. Also know as “Dog Fart Switchback,” Hundeprutterutchebane takes riders on a fun-filled journey around a hound’s piles of poop and allows them to listen to the sounds of his farts. Ah, this ride gives new meaning to the phrase “the wind in my face.”

Dickens World
Moving from farting dogs to sweaty wenches, England’s Dickens World is a brand-new amusement park designed around everyone’s favorite topic: plague-ridden, sewage-filled 19th century London.

Designed to spotlight the life and times of Charles Dickens, Dickens World features one of Europe’s largest dark boat rides; the Haunted House of Ebenezer Scrooge; and a Victorian School Room — which gives parents the chance to show their kids how lucky they really are. Not really. In reality, I imagine it’s something of a mash-up between a “real” amusement park; a “living history museum”; Vegas; and the most boring component in the canon of English Literature. Oliver Twist? Puh-lease!

Before you accuse the British of making something fun into something very, very dry, check out Brendan O’Neill’s experience inside Dickens World. Either he’s being nice, or it’s actually fun … in a giant-turkey-leg-chimney-sweep-polio-filled sorta way.

Diggerland
After you’re finished with Dickens World, motor over to Diggerland, an amusement park that gives both kids and adults the chance to “ride in, and drive, different types of construction machinery including Dumper Trucks, Mini Diggers and Giant Diggers (all under strict supervision).”

In addition to the heavy-duty machinery, Diggerland also features thrill rides and the Dancing Diggers, a stunt team that performs inside front-end loaders. Seriously, even if you have no intention of visiting Diggerland, you should head to their homepage and listen to their infectious jingle.

Suoi Tien Park
Shifting gears (ha ha) from large machines to quiet introspection, Vietnam’s Suoi Tien Park is a Buddhist-themed amusement park. In addition to a giant splash park and various thrill rides, the “amusement park” features Heaven Palace, the Park’s vision of eternal life for people who manage to escape the torments of hell after years of gambling, adultery, and taking drugs. If hell isn’t enough to scare you straight, the park also featuresBat cave with innumerable bats, Mid air cycling over crocodile farm with more than 1,500 crocodiles of all sizes which cause fearful feeling for tourist.” Yikes.

Wow, those Buddhists really know how to unwind and relax during family getaways. That said, I am impressed with the ginormous faces/waterfalls in the Park. Check out the short movies of the falls in action.

Chinese Disneyland Clone Scares the Kids

No, it’s not Disneyland China, it’s Shijingshan Amusement Park located in Beijing. This Disney knock-off could be very frightening for a child who is used to seeing the American version of Walt’s lovable characters — Donald’s got a spare tire, and Minnie doesn’t look quite right herself. I don’t even know what to say about the Snow White-themed ticket booth. Even the “Magic Kingdom” looks like it belongs in Legoland, rather than a Chinese Disneyland clone-park.

None of this is authorized by Disney,” explains China’s English-language business newspaper, The Standard. “but that has not stopped the state-owned park from creating its own counterfeit version of the Magic Kingdom in a brazen example of the sort of open and widespread copyright piracy that has Washington fuming.”

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say.

[via boingboing]