Although Americans are accustomed to sit down toilets and a full roll of toilet paper within arm’s reach, not all countries provide the same luxuries.
South Korea, for example, is infamous for its hole-in-the-ground toilets, with complimentary toilet paper rarely seen in bathroom stalls.
To avoid a potentially messy situation, always carry a travel-sized roll of toilet paper with you. A pocket-sized box of baby wipes also offers gentle soothing support if the country’s local cuisine doesn’t agree with you.
For some reason, despite the fact that I don’t like cats, feline products get a lot of attention from SkyMall Monday. We’ve featured a litter box and a talking food bowl. But this week, we’re tackling a problem that has long flummoxed cat owners. You see, cats already act like they own their homes. They’re aloof, ambivalent and seem to genuinely enjoy watching humans scoop up their feces. It’s that last issue that sticks out the most. How can they truly be the heads of their households when they can’t even clean up after themselves? In order for cats to completely evolve into our furry overlords, they’ll need to stop pooping in litter boxes and start using toilets. While it may seem terrifying strange for cats to use toilets, it’s the logical progression towards them dominating and overthrowing their owners. However, cats can’t teach themselves to use the facilities. They’ll need their current “masters’ to assist them. And knowing how insane cat owners really are, I’m certain that they will have no problem being party to their own eventual enslavement. And that’s why they will all be thrilled to discover that SkyMall is ready to help them take the first step towards building making their cats independent. Because SkyMall now offers the Cat Toilet Training System.Cats may lack opposable thumbs and the ability to wipe their own butts, but they have the desire to humiliate their owners and an affinity for licking themselves. And that’s why they’ll take to toilet training like a squirrel takes to underpants. Sure, they’ll need you to open the bathroom door. And to flush the toilet. And to update the issues of Cat Fancy that you keep in the bathroom. But it will all be worth it when you’re twenty minutes late for work because your cat has explosive diarrhea and you couldn’t get into the bathroom to take a shower.
Think that toilets are only for people and thirsty dogs? I bet you don’t even believe that monkeys should be on ice skates. Well, the animal experts over at SkyMall beg to differ.
The best way to deal with the unpleasant task of cleaning out the litter box is to do away with it for good. With the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System, you can teach your cat to use any human toilet in eight weeks or less. The age or weight of your cat doesn’t matter and it works in multiple cat households too.
I suppose that toilet training your cat is a better solution to the litter box issue than hot gluing its anus shut. Though I do fear that young, tiny kittens will fall into the toilet where they will fall prey to abandoned alligators that live in the sewers.
So, in eight weeks, you can finally make yourself completely subservient to your cat. Once he can use the toilet, there will be no stopping him from finding a job of his own, supporting himself and kicking you out of the house. And while being homeless may be tough, at least then you can start pooping wherever you want. Surely some cat will come along and scoop it up.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.
Forget chocolate and flowers – how about treating your loved one to sex in a restaurant bathroom?
You’ll need to travel to Toronto for the experience, but Mildred’s Temple Kitchen has announced that they’ll encourage any of their guests to use their bathrooms for some Valentine’s day nooky.
Now, I’m no prude, but I don’t think I’d be too comfortable standing in line with other couples as we patiently await our turn to have sex in a bathroom.
Sure, Mildred’s says they’ll provide a maid for the day to keep things clean, but I think I’d much rather just get a hotel room for a couple of hours than try to mess around in a cramped bathroom that was just used for the same purpose by the previous couple.
Still, even though the restaurant claims that having sex in a bathroom is on a list of 101 places you should have sex before you die, I’m just not convinced that doing it on a day when the restaurant promotes and encourages it is so exciting. If you really want to spice things up, do it on a day that is not promoted as “have sex in our bathrooms day”.
Of course, thanks to the Internet, viral stories like this are a fantastic way to create buzz for any company, and I don’t think Mildred’s Temple Kitchen will have any open tables for Valentine’s day – even if half the tables are filled by pervs waiting to catch a glimpse at couples heading to the bathrooms.
Whenever traveling internationally, it’s important — for obvious reasons — to know how to ask where the bathroom is.
Make sure to do some research before starting a trip to a foreign land. Even if the country speaks the same language, it’s important to know customs so as not to make an unpleasant remark.
One trick that can be used with many phrases is to keep a cheat sheet in your pocket with the translations. This way you can look quickly without having to flip through a book, and pair words together.
A little planing can save a lot of frustration — and a big mess!
Last week a producer from ABC Nightline News contacted me about doing a story on the laviators – THE LAVIATORS! I know, it’s weird, I can’t believe it myself. But one of their corespondents actually happened across my blog after surfing around Youtube where they found people doing all sorts of bizarre things in airplane bathrooms. Of course I asked if he’d seen my video, 25 ways to use a maxi pad in flight, but he had not, so I emailed it to him right away. What he had seen, it turns out, was Michelle’s funny laviator music video featured below.
“Michelle really stepped it up a notch,” the producer said matter of fact over the phone.
“That she did!” I agreed. Then I added, “She’s also the one responsible for getting the word ‘laviator’ into the urban dictionary! Now if only we can get the word ‘lavatar,’ as in a laviator avatar, in there as well.”
The producer laughed, and then went on to describe the club as “hysterically weird” and asked what might compel someone to take pictures of themselves in the lavatory.
Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that one out myself, and I’m the first official laviator! Although I’m pretty sure it has something to do with boredom. Or maybe it’s just exciting to do something a little risque – and weird – on an airplane. Then again, it could be all of the above. Who knows. All I know for sure is the end result is fun.
After pitching his story idea, the producer assured me he’d be back in touch. That was over a week ago and I still haven’t head from him. Well that got me thinking. Let’s have a best of the best laviator photo contest!
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That way ABC Nightline News will have no choice but to feature the club on their award winning show when they see just how amazing the laviators truly are. How about if I narrow it down to a few of my favorite shots and you be the judge? Come on, what do you say? Don’t be scared. It’ll be fun! Winner gets a free Laviator T-shirt donated and designed by Windtee, a maker of aviation T-shirt art. All you have to do is click on the photo gallery above, choose your favorite laviator, and then scroll down to the bottom of this post and cast your vote by Tuesday, October 27! That’s it.
Not a member of the laviators club yet? What the heck are you waiting for! On your next trip pack a camera in your carry on bag and then, when the seat belt sign is turned off, nonchalantly slide it into a pocket before making your way to the lav. Once behind the locked door, start clicking away. Don’t be shy. Get creative! As soon as the flight touches ground, make sure to email your photo to me – Heather DOT Poole AT weblogsinc DOT com (or submit it to the Gadling Flickr pool) – and I’ll include it in the official laviator photo gallery. Who knows, perhaps you’ll even make it into the best of the best laviator contest, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll see yourself on ABC Nightline News. Hey, you never know!