Roll with the rich in five easy steps: travel like you’re on the Forbes 400

by Tom Johansmeyer on

From peaking through the curtain to first class to eyeing the VIP check-in line at the hotel, travelers are envious creatures. Someone else always has something we want – be it an experience, device or amenity. We fantasize about the perfect travel experiences, wondering what it must be like to [fill in the blank with what you dig most].

Nobody knows how to travel quite like the billionaires on the Forbes 400. Sure, this crowd isn’t hitting hostels, mingling with the locals and doing all the stuff we say we prefer. They’re busy with butlers and maids and yachts and poetry readings (sorry, not joking on this one). You’re not going to get the “genuine” travel experience if you roll like the rich, but who the hell cares? The last thing I’d want is genuine if I had that kind of cash.

Interested in traveling like the insanely wealthy? After the jump, there are five simple steps to running with the big dogs when you tour the world. It’s not nearly as hard as you might think … as long as you have the cash to back it up.

1. Vacation homes are a must
Yes, there’s something to be said for the luxury of a hotel’s best penthouse with butler service, private dining and a special entrance. You don’t want to mix with the proletarians, after all. But, this type of travel means you’re not in control. Eventually, you’ll find boundaries. So, to travel like the insanely rich, buy vacation homes in the places you like best.

2. Yacht or not
Vacation homes are nice, especially when they’re on the water, but you’ll never get away from land. To dart out from your troubles – or a collapsing Ponzi scheme – you need a yacht. Right now, yacht sales are in the tank, so you can get a better price than you may expect. Keep in mind that this is a billionaire‘s game: don’t try to do it on the cheap. If you can’t afford a yacht (or simply don’t want one), you can always explain away your yachtlessness with something about seasickness or a penchant for other vices (like mistresses).

If you do go the yacht route, pimp it out properly. Rupert Murdoch took friends and families on a cruise to Alaska. Just in case that wasn’t enough, his sailboat is decked out with a “technogym,” deep-sea diving equipment and king-sized sleeping cabins.

Do it big.

3. Join a club
Rich people and clubs … crazy. It starts in college, with the likes of Skull and Bones, and by the time these kids become adults, they’re paying ridiculous sums of money just to be allowed to spend money on dinner and drinks. Michael Bloomberg, New York‘s mayor, belongs to the Game Creek Club in Vail, Colorado. The privilege involves a $50,000 initiation fee, but I imagine the grub is fantastic.

4. Have the right friends
Again, Mayor Mike does it right, golfing with Ross Perot and Silvio Berlusconi. They’re both unbelievably wealthy and turned to politics after amassing fortunes in the technology/media space. When you’re that rich, you need to travel with people like you. So, be prepared to trade in your old friends – it’s nothing personal.

5. Do weird stuff
We all know that billionaires are crazy. So, when you travel, you can’t resign yourself to sightseeing, beach-sitting and cocktail-sipping. You have to do something bizarre … because you can. Stephen Spielberg attended a cliff-side poetry reading on Ireland’s Aran Islands before touring the moors on a motorized bike. Oracle chief Larry Ellison prefers speed, flying around in a MiG 29.

Carnival Cruise Line heiress is selling her yacht to make ends meet

by Jamie Rhein on

With the downturn in the world’s economy, no one is safe from hitting hard times. Even Shari Arison, the Israeli-American Carnival Cruise Line heiress, and former richest woman, is suffering. According to this New York Post article, poor Ms. Arison is having to cut corners. Because she’s down to her last two billion dollars, she wants to shed herself of her yacht.

If you can scrape together $103 million, Arison’s 211-foot vessel can be yours. If Arison can’t sell it, she ought to think about renting it out to folks. Maybe start a little tour company where she can sail people around the Mediterranean or where ever else she enjoys taking it for a whirl. I’ve read that some people who have decided they can’t really afford their vacation homes are renting them out to others instead of selling them.

I bet Arison would get some takers, particularly if she touted the trips as be rich for a day– or longer. She could serve cake.

Straight out of 007: Bodyguards to die for

by Jerry Guo on

From the land of the world’s craziest game show (a real-life version of the video game Grand Theft Auto), I bring you another Russia delight: a corp of sexy female bodyguards-for-hire.

Run out of Moscow, the bodyguard agency provides sultry female bodyguards–many trained by the Soviet-era spy service, the KGB–to “give discreet protection to Moscow’s billionaires and their wives and mistresses.”

Here’s what the owner and top bodyguard of the corp, Anna Loginova (picture to your left), said about her service. “A normal man gets sick and tired of male bodyguards around him all the time. In addition, many restaurants now do not allow a guard inside. They can come in and check everything but then they are asked to wait in the lobby. In contrast, you can take female bodyguards inside, she will sit down at the table and nobody would guess that she’s a weapon herself – and can react appropriately in any dangerous situation.”

But this story doesn’t have a happy ending. 29-year old Loginova died this week while fighting off carjackers who were trying to make off with her Porsche.