Cruise Line Scams: Booze and Beverage Packages

On a cruise, many passengers follow the pay-as-you-go way of buying alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, much like they might on land. Others may choose packages that appear to be either convenient or a good value. To determine if a package is simply convenient, a good value or possibly a scam, you’ll have to do the math.

Featured Drink of the Day
There’s something to be said about getting on a ship heading to the Caribbean and having that first frozen drink on deck as the ship sails away. For many, that’s part of the experience. But paying several extra dollars for the cheap plastic glass it comes in over and over is a a waste of your money and a big profit item for the cruise lines. Most all lines also offer the same drink in a regular glass for much less.

Convenience almost always adds up to a higher price. But you may be willing to pay that higher price just to stop stressing over each and every purchase. If so, Celebrity Cruises has some packages that might be just what you are looking for.

Beverage Packages
The thought is “You can drink all the soda you want and not have to worry about how much it is.” True, but do the math. A Classic Non-Alcoholic Package is $91.00 for a seven day cruise on Celebrity Cruises. By the glass they charge about $2.00 for a soda. Do you drink more than 6.5 soda’s a day? If so, you come out fine. If not, you’re better off paying as you go.

Celebrity also offers other packages as well. A Classic (booze too) Package gets Non-Alcoholic beverages, beer up to $5 each and spirits, cocktails and wine up to $8 each for $273 on a seven-night cruise. For a beer drinker, that comes out to 7.8 beers a day. I know people who would come out way ahead on this one and some that would come out way behind too. Again, do the math.

And they wonder why people try to smuggle booze on to the ships.

Speaking of which. We ran across a nifty idea that might just be perfect for smuggling booze.A product offered by by EasyTraveler, Inc. looks to be just what we need, especially if cruise lines move closer to implementing TSA standards, limiting us to no more than 3oz of any liquid upon boarding.

Royal Caribbean already has this requirement listed on their website where they say:


Did you catch that last line?

Please Note: All guests must comply with TSA guidelines for transporting liquids

That’s kind of scary to think of. It’s one of those gray area rules that are on the books but are rarely enforced or are subject to interpretation at the time they come up. Trying to imagine a 7-day vacation with only 3oz of hair products is the stuff of nightmares for some people.

OK fine, how about this little device then?

This should work and the $23 cost is nothing compared to what one might save vs.the $273 package on Celebrity. Or back to convenience, these would work well for a nice cocktail in your stateroom before dinner too.

Yes, where there’s a will there’s a way and you too can beat cruise line scams.

Cruise booze smuggling tips

Cruise lines are cracking down on bringing alcoholic beverages, soft drinks and even bottled water on board at embarkation more and more these days. In the world of booze smuggling, there is no one certain rule to follow that will work every time. You have to kind of go with the flow and be prepared for anything. It’s a stealth operation to be sure but armed with the tools necessary, you can do this.

Dress for success– your college t-shirt, flip-flops and cutoffs screaming “party animal” may make you think you look cool/hot/older/younger. (No) To security personnel they say “Pat me down”. Wear your semi-casual-kinda-formal-night outfit and breeze through checkpoints undisturbed. It would help if you were also not intoxicated boarding the ship. Tailgating before the cruise is really not your best move here. You will need your wits about you to make this work.

Pack for success– There was once a notion that it was smart to take an extra suitcase for soft drinks and other “beverages” to be consumed on board. The idea was that empty space upon consumption gave extra room for souvenirs, towels, pillows, silverware and other items acquired along the way. News flash: a small suitcase that feels conspicuously heavy will get extra attention from security personnel.

A gift for you- I’ve done this a dozen times and it works. Gift wrap a case of Heineken or other premium beverage and just walk right on in with it. Dressed appropriately, it works. If anyone asks, the answer is “It’s a gift for the captain”. No one ever has.

Decoy bottles– Now think about this: Say all of the above did not work. You’re called to a special holding room once on the ship to claim your luggage because it has either an iron (huge fire hazard) or alcohol (huge profit hazard) in it, both things they don’t want on the ship.

In front of security personnel, you open the luggage as instructed and fish out whatever it is you’re not supposed to have. They don’t make you do that to teach you a lesson and humiliate you. That comes later when you’re standing around with a life jacket on a ship that is not sinking. They do that because they discovered your sinister profit-robbing plan via x-rays, voodoo or iron-sniffing dogs.

They don’t know exactly what you have in there, just that there’s something bad. Not bad enough to call the FBI but bad enough to make a big deal about it.

The trick is to place decoy bottles of booze (like the cheapest bargain wine you can find) close in the top or opening of your luggage, pull those out first. Then, briefly fake-rummage through the rest, pretending to dig deep but coming up empty and not finding any more. This may take some practice if you are not a naturally deceptive person.

(Little do they know you have a fine bottle of Scotch or French Champagne down in the bottom of that bag)

Really paranoid people sometimes watch for sales at Victoria’s Secret and add an eye catching lingerie item, in the original packaging, sporting little Miss Perfect Body as a backup distraction that can move things along too.

The point is to make it a quick, painless procedure and move along back to your cabin, contraband in hand. Your mind-set should be “I’m excited to be on this fine ship”. “I can’t wait to get back to the fun I am responsibly having.” “This is a minor inconvenience and no big deal”

Follow those tips and you will be breathing a sigh of relief and headed back to the real fun, strip poker with crew members in their restricted area, in no time.

Oh, one last point: The cruise line can kick you off the ship with no refund and no way home if they catch you doing this. Smuggle at your own risk.

Flickr photo by Ben Husmann

Royal Caribbean cracks down on booze smuggling

It wasn’t all that long ago when guests booked on any given cruise line did not have too much trouble bringing a bottle of fine wine, some soft drinks or bottled water on to the ship at embarkation to enjoy in their stateroom. There was no “smuggling” needed and cruise lines, for the most part, allowed it. Today, rules are changing and being strictly enforced.

Cruise lines in general allowed guests to bring on one bottle of fine wine for a special occasion when they boarded the ship. The only caveat being that if consumed in the dining room the line would charge a “corkage fee” for serving it. Bottled water and soft drinks too were allowed. I have checked cases of bottled water with porters at the pier before and they were delivered to our stateroom right along with luggage later in the day. Soft drinks in 12-packs were easy to add to checked luggage too, also with no problem.
Hard liquor, beer, excessive amounts of wine (like in a box) have always been prohibited but common advice was to wrap it securely and put in checked luggage. One could almost bet on it making its way through security and on to the ship. No problem. Still, it was technically smuggling and it might as well have been gasoline. If caught, the cruise line would take it.

Today, we see more reports of cruise lines cracking down on booze smuggling with this recent report by a Royal Caribbean passenger just off Oasis of the Seas saying:

“We gave all our luggage to the porter. All our bags showed up around 2 PM, except for 3 bags that contained alcohol”

“Our cabin steward said if we had Irons (fire hazard) or alcohol in those missing bags, that we needed to go down to level 2 and claim them. We went down and were surprised to see this large room covered with luggage. I’m talking 100’s of bags”

“They greeted us by asking if we had alcohol or irons in the bag. They had 2 different sections of bags, one for the irons and one for the alcohol. After locating our bags, we had to take them to a table to be opened, inspected by security while you rummage through your bag and get out the alcohol that the cruise line somehow determined was in it it. They taped all the items together, marked our room # on it and said it would be returned the last night of the cruise. Our cabin steward did return it around 6 PM on our last night”.

“One in our party had a 4 pack of those small bottles of wine that they confiscated. She thought she had rummaged completely through her bag in front of security, but she missed one bottle so we had that one anyway.”

Moral of the story: Pack junk wine or decoy bottles on top with the good stuff deep down in the luggage? Be more creative, like Ziploc bags of booze taped to your body?

Probably not.Royal Caribbean’s rules are clear: “Guests are not allowed to bring alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages on-board for consumption or any other use.” Try and you’re just rolling the dice as to if your contraband makes it on the ship or not.

Better idea: Budget for liquor and other beverage purchases and have an idea of what you might spend on the sailing then just consider it part of the price OR cruise a line that has a more lenient policy.

Carnival Cruise Line’s policy also prohibits bringing alcoholic beverages on board but says “wine enthusiasts may bring fine wine or champagne on board only during embarkation at the beginning of the cruise” and that guests “may bring a small quantity of nonalcoholic beverages” but quickly points out that “All liquor, excessive quantities of wine and nonalcoholic beverages, to be determined at the discretion of security and/or embarkation personnel, will be confiscated and discarded without compensation.” Princess Cruises also has that exemption for a bottle of wine at embarkation. Other lines have their own policies and they change from time to time so be sure you know for sure what the policy of your line is.

Another part of Royal Caribbean’s policy that is probably overlooked, especially by passengers who drive rather than fly to the port of embarkation:

“Please Note: All guests must comply with TSA guidelines for transporting liquids.”

Uh oh!

That surely means they could confiscate bottles of shampoo, mouthwash, lotions, and other liquids in excess of the 3oz TSA limit. This one has a double whammy of trouble. First, (and probably why they added it) filling a large Listerine bottle with Scotch or an Evian bottle with Vodka is no longer a really security-proof option. Next, will 3oz of your favorite shampoo really be enough for a week? Odds are you can bring many little bottles of shampoo and really creative people will find a way to smuggle booze on to the ship anyway.

Better idea? TSA Compliant Travel Bottles and Kits for Liquids and Gels

Bad idea: The wine rack described as “Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.

This is where we hope cruise lines don’t start TSA-style patdown’s any time soon.

Flickr photo by theimpulsive buy