SkyMall Monday: Portabra Travel Bra Case

We cover a tremendous amount of SkyMall products here at SkyMall Monday HQ, but our heart will always belong to the gear that solves the problems of women. We love women. They have nice hair. They smell good. They make our pants feel tight. That’s why we’re thrilled to address a particularly pressing lady problem this week: bra damage. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But, Mike, you’re an alpha male. A bro’s bro. What do you know about bras?” I know that I can unhook them with one hand in under three seconds. But that’s beside the point. I respect and admire all of you female travelers out there. While I’m shoving a few shirts and boxer briefs into my pack, you’re worrying out your dainty unmentionables and hoping they don’t get damaged (or stolen by pervy TSA agents). Thankfully, you no longer have to fear that your brassieres will be squished, smushed, manhandled or sniffed. Now you can sequester your knickers in a bedazzled pencil case and protect your panties from poachers. Ladies and, well, ladies, I give you the Portabra Travel Bra Case.Whether your breasts are big, small, lopsided, real, fake, pert, saggy, supple or hairy, you undoubtedly have spent more money than you’d care to discuss on some boulder holders bras. The last thing you want to find when you arrive at your destination is bent underwire and crushed can containers bra cups. You need your bras to bring their A-game to that wedding/conference/funeral/vacation so that you can look and feel sexy, sassy and sensual. Plus, where else will you keep your tissues?

Think that you can just pack your bras in a suitcase or let your Siamese twins wear them while telling the flight attendants that they’re yarmulkas? You probably also also use your panties as coffee filters. Well, sicko, maybe you should let SkyMall do your thinking for you. Just look at the product description for the Portabra.

Bringing your beloved bras with you on a trip doesn’t have to be a hassle anymore! Portabra is the new bra case designed to easily pack and protect your bras when traveling so that they don’t get crushed and ruined in your suitcase. So, say ‘so long’ to those wrinkled cups and keep looking your best throughout your travels. In addition, Portabra keeps your bras discreetly packed so they won’t be displayed to strangers’ eyes when the dreaded words, “bag check” are shouted.

With the embarrassment of wrinkled cups eliminated, you can go back to focusing all of your energy on hiding your explosive flatulence. And lord knows the TSA won’t open a tiny box sitting in your suitcase. They’re far too respectful of private property. So, problem solved!

Your bras are the backbone of your outfit. You need them to lift, separate, conceal, reveal, enhance and corral your bazooms breasts. So, don’t make them ride in the coach class of your luggage. Upgrade them to the first class cabin of the Portabra to ensure “your bras a safe and bon voyage!”

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Syria’s Sexy Side

Bras with flashing lights, transparent g-strings, underwear that is made from little more than fake butterflies and plastic flower petals. No, it is not the dressing room of a Las Vegas gentleman’s club, it’s a shop in a Damascus souk. BBC correspondent Martin Asser recently uncovered some unexpected retail spaces in the Syrian capital. It turns out that, despite the penchant for non-form-flattering outdoor apparel, there is a market in this Levantine country for so called “indoor apparel.”

According to one of the country’s most successful undergarment tailors, religion and sex are not at all at odds, as long as marriage is also involved:

“Our work is all about igniting the desires of a husband for his wife, so he doesn’t go looking elsewhere. It’s a good thing and there’s nothing wrong it.”

Asser also mentions that sexual dissatisfaction is a legit reason for divorce in the Islamic faith.

See the related video here. There is even a book featuring some of the more outlandish designs found in Syrian souks (pictured above).

[via BBC]

A nice roundup of some of the dumbest things the TSA did in 2008

The TSA has made quite a name for itself when it comes to making stupid decisions. Whether it is forcing a mom to drink her own breast milk, or claiming a thin laptop could be a dangerous weapon, when the TSA screws up, they tend to screw up quite badly.

I’ve compiled some of the best TSA screwups we reported on here on Gadling in 2008.

Do not try and bring a gun through the checkpoint (unless you work for the TSA)

Can you imagine what would happen if you tried to sneak a gun past the security checkpoint? All hell would break loose, probably involving a complete terminal shutdown and a taser.

Unless of course you work for the TSA.

Back in April, Justin wrote about the TSA agent who smuggled a gun through the checkpoint. Instead of being fired, the agent was merely suspended for 30 days. Brilliant.

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Mock bomb passes through the checkpoint – CNN was there to document it

What is worse than an incompetent checkpoint that misses a mock bomb strapped to a TSA agent? Having the incident filmed on CNN!

When CNN got up close and personal with TSA undercover agent “Jason”, they probably did not expect to document someone sneaking a fake bomb past the security staff.

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1000’s of TSA uniforms and badges unaccounted for

October brought us the brilliant story of the TSA coming to the conclusion that they have lost track of thousands of uniforms and badges. Not just any old badge; these badges actually provide access to secure areas of the airport.

Apparently the TSA did not have a suitable system in place to check that retiring (or fired) agents were actually returning their stuff. So, while they are busy making sure you don’t bring dangerous bottled water on the plane, potential terrorists might be out there buying real TSA uniforms.

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Is that an Apple branded bomb in your bag?

When Apple released their new ultra-thin laptop, I doubt anyone at the design department ever thought that the TSA might confuse the sleek lines of the Macbook Air with a bomb.

Apparently the TSA had not been keeping up with the latest technologies enough to understand that a thin computer does not always have to be an explosive device.

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Breasts + nipple rings + pliers = TSA embarrassment

One of the more high profile stories involving the TSA this year, was an incident involving breasts and nipple rings.

While these 2 usually make for a steamy story that beings with “Dear Penthouse…”, this incident was quite embarrassing for the TSA.

When Mandi Hamlin passed through the checkpoint, she set off the handheld metal detector wand. Instead of just asking for a manual search by a female agent, the male TSA agents decided it would much more fun to give Mandi a pair of pliers and demand that she remove her nipple rings.

Once Gloria Allred go involved, the TSA announced it would change the way it screens passengers with body piercings.

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Greed knows no boundaries with this TSA agent

In September, I reported on a TSA agent who was helping himself to goodies from our luggage. Not content with low priced items like MP3 players and digital cameras, this idiot thought it would be cool to snag himself a $47,000 HD video camera from HBO.

As with most thieves, this guy got caught when he became too greedy. The FBI purchased one of his items off Ebay, and apprehended him.

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TSA behavior detection, detects not much more than that

In 2006, the TSA started a highly promoted “behavior detection program” which involved training their agents to detect terrorists based on nothing more than suspicious behavior.

In total, 160,000 people were flagged by this method, resulting in just 1,266 arrests. Aaron covered this waste of time and tax money in November including a priceless quote from a Carnegie Mellon professor who calls the program “a sham”.

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Sprained ankle? Prove it!

It’s bad enough when the antics at your checkpoint are merely annoying, it’s another when the screeners actually cause bodily harm.

That is what happened to Lorna Dunlap at Pasco, WA airport and Jeffrey wrote about this insane incident back in October.

Poor Lorna has sprained her ankle, forcing her to travel with a leg brace. Apparently, the screener wanted more proof of this injury, so told her to remove her leg brace and stand on one leg.

The stupidity caused her to fracture her leg in 2 places, but I’m sure she’s relieved to hear that the TSA is “looking into it”.

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Another breast related incident

The TSA really seems to have a problem with breasts. When you read what happened to Nancy Kates, you’d probably suspect that the TSA agents all received a memo warning about boobie bombs.

Nancy is a big-busted woman, but when her underwire set off the metal detector, it was the beginning of a 40 minute dispute that resulted in her having to explain to a TSA supervisor how the Constitution works.

In the end, the TSA was so kind as to let her simply remove her bra and go through the checkpoint again, but that didn’t stop her from making sure the entire world got to read her story.


Despite the TSA’s best intentions, what strange things have been found on planes?

Underwire bra dispute causes woman to miss her flight

First it was loose change in your pockets, then it was jewelry, and then it was shoes. For Jet Blue passenger Nancy Kates, it seems like bras might be the next thing to go in the airport security line. A big-busted woman, Kates was wearing a large underwire bra as she went through the security check at Oakland International Airport but when it set off the metal detector she was pulled aside by a TSA agent.

Kates accuses the agent of getting a little too personal. “The woman touched my breast. I said, ‘You can’t do that,’ ” Kates said. “She said, ‘We have to pat you down.’ I said, ‘You can’t treat me as a criminal for wearing a bra.’ “

Refusing to be fondled, Kates asked to see a supervisor and then the supervisor’s surpervisor. Kates reminded the TSA agents that the Constitution bars unreasonable searches and that “scrutinizing a woman’s brassiere is surely unreasonable.” She was offered a private room to have her pat-down, but Kates refused. Instead she asked if she could simply remove her bra, to which the TSA agent agreed. This isn’t the first breast related TSA incident, but the whole escapade took 40 minutes and caused Kates to miss her flight. Jet Blue was nice enough to put her on another one.

Being a woman, I myself have had the bra pat-down several times, and I’m sure there are other fellow females on the Gadling team that have gone through the same experience. Normally such pat-downs are off limits to fingers; TSA agents only use the side of their hands. But all the same it’s still a little unnerving. As Kates said, “If I was carrying nail clippers and forgot about them, I wouldn’t have gotten so upset. But here I was just wearing my underwear.”

What are your thoughts? Is it humiliating to get a pat-down to make sure the underwire in your bra is what’s setting off the metal detector?

10 tips for smarter flying


One for the Road: More Sand in My Bra

Travelers Tales has released another title in their hilarious travel story series. First, there was the Leo Trio:Bra, Panty and Thong — three books bursting with funny tales from female travelers. Then the anthology series turned to the gents for their rip-roaring stories in What Color is Your Jockstrap. And now the series comes full circle, returning to the original sandy bra for yet another scoop of silliness and humor from wanderlust ladies.

More Sand in My Bra: Funny Women Write from the Road, Again! is a collection of on-the-road mishaps that is sure to entertain. Leo teamed up with fellow traveler Julia Weiler to co-edit this latest batch of travel blunders–take a booze cruise in Vietnam, get lost at a sex camp and tag along on tour with Ellen Degeneres. Throw this one in your beach bag ladies–I’m fairly certain that these 29 tales will keep you laughing all summer long.