Parisian teenagers flash, steal cash

Let’s start with the lesson first: if you’re going to Paris, take out all the cash you need at home. There’s a new scam at work … using the oldest trick in the book.

Think about the last time you went to a gentlemen’s club. As breasts went bare, men parted with their money. It’s utterly predictable. Now, assume you have two girls who can’t dance – and aren’t old enough to become strippers. How could they employ this technique for financial gain?

Two 14-year-olds in Paris figured out a way.

In the Sixth Arrondissement, the duo set out to distract ATM users and swipe their cash. After waving a newspaper at one person, according to a Reuters report, one of the criminal masterminds “allegedly opened her shirt and grabbed his [the user’s] genital area, while her accomplice took the 300 euros (about $385) that the machine spit out.”

And this isn’t the first time they used the technique. They did the same thing to lift 500 euros from a female ATM user. Taking the scam to a new low, however, they enlisted the help of an even younger accomplice.

While USA Today offers a handful of tips for avoiding ATM-related theft in Europe, here’s a good one: keep your eyes off the jailbait.

[photo by jonklinger via Flickr]

SkyMall Monday: Portabra Travel Bra Case

We cover a tremendous amount of SkyMall products here at SkyMall Monday HQ, but our heart will always belong to the gear that solves the problems of women. We love women. They have nice hair. They smell good. They make our pants feel tight. That’s why we’re thrilled to address a particularly pressing lady problem this week: bra damage. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But, Mike, you’re an alpha male. A bro’s bro. What do you know about bras?” I know that I can unhook them with one hand in under three seconds. But that’s beside the point. I respect and admire all of you female travelers out there. While I’m shoving a few shirts and boxer briefs into my pack, you’re worrying out your dainty unmentionables and hoping they don’t get damaged (or stolen by pervy TSA agents). Thankfully, you no longer have to fear that your brassieres will be squished, smushed, manhandled or sniffed. Now you can sequester your knickers in a bedazzled pencil case and protect your panties from poachers. Ladies and, well, ladies, I give you the Portabra Travel Bra Case.Whether your breasts are big, small, lopsided, real, fake, pert, saggy, supple or hairy, you undoubtedly have spent more money than you’d care to discuss on some boulder holders bras. The last thing you want to find when you arrive at your destination is bent underwire and crushed can containers bra cups. You need your bras to bring their A-game to that wedding/conference/funeral/vacation so that you can look and feel sexy, sassy and sensual. Plus, where else will you keep your tissues?

Think that you can just pack your bras in a suitcase or let your Siamese twins wear them while telling the flight attendants that they’re yarmulkas? You probably also also use your panties as coffee filters. Well, sicko, maybe you should let SkyMall do your thinking for you. Just look at the product description for the Portabra.

Bringing your beloved bras with you on a trip doesn’t have to be a hassle anymore! Portabra is the new bra case designed to easily pack and protect your bras when traveling so that they don’t get crushed and ruined in your suitcase. So, say ‘so long’ to those wrinkled cups and keep looking your best throughout your travels. In addition, Portabra keeps your bras discreetly packed so they won’t be displayed to strangers’ eyes when the dreaded words, “bag check” are shouted.

With the embarrassment of wrinkled cups eliminated, you can go back to focusing all of your energy on hiding your explosive flatulence. And lord knows the TSA won’t open a tiny box sitting in your suitcase. They’re far too respectful of private property. So, problem solved!

Your bras are the backbone of your outfit. You need them to lift, separate, conceal, reveal, enhance and corral your bazooms breasts. So, don’t make them ride in the coach class of your luggage. Upgrade them to the first class cabin of the Portabra to ensure “your bras a safe and bon voyage!”

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Uganda: the latest not so gay-friendly destination

While every city council and national tourist board seems to know the equation gay + traveler = big bucks, the central African nation of Uganda wants none of it. A controversial bill may soon pass that would not only outlaw homosexuality, but would also impose the death penalty against certain “offenders” and make it criminal to not report known homosexuals.

Whence in Africa, most gay travelers know to keep it on the down low, however the new legislation would be sure to sniff them out by criminalizing anyone who “aids, abets, counsels or procures another to engage in acts of homosexuality”. If convicted, people who know gay people would face seven years in prison. That includes hotel owners and landlords who rent rooms to homosexuals.

So forget Utah, the gay witch hunt of the century will occur in lovely Uganda, land of gun-toting child missionaries and toxic breasts.

Silicone breast explodes upon landing at Los Angeles airport

Here is one you don’t hear every day – exploding breast implants (partially) caused by flying.

Irena D. was on her way from Moscow to Los Angeles on an unnamed airline.

When she boarded the plane, she was not feeling too well, but things really got out of hand when she stepped off the plane and collapsed. Apparently, one of her size F silicone implants had ruptured.

Doctors were quick to point out that the plane may not have been the main reason for the damage, but that the pressure difference could have accelerated an existing defect in the silicone product.

She is out of danger now, but is stuck in bed for at least a week. Doctors explained that she won’t be able to have the breast implant replaced, though I’m not enough of an expert to know why, nor was I aware that a simple defect in a silicone implant could cause it to rupture like this. You really do learn something new every day.

Think Irena D made waves on her flight? Click the images below to see what havoc these girls caused on their flights.

You can find Gadling on Twitter, as well as the most of the Gadling Team: Mike Barish, Kraig Becker, Catherine Bodry, Alison Brick, Scott Carmichael, Justin Glow, Stephen Greenwood, Aaron Hotfelder, Tom Johansmeyer, Jeremy Kressmann, Heather Poole, Jamie Rhein, Annie Scott, Karen Walrond, Kent Wien, Brenda Yun.

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.