White Collar Travel: How Important Is That Phone Call?

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The biggest complaint that non-business travelers have about the white collar folks likely involves cell phones. Our reluctance to turn the off at the appointed time is probably the greatest annoyance to those around us, though the Gordon Gekko-style pacing and posing at the gate tends to ruffle some feathers, too. I’ve overheard and even been asked countless times the very simple question: “Is it really that important?”

Of course, it’s sometimes phrased, “Nothing can be that [insert expletive of choice here] important.”

Now that I’m out of the game, my perspective on business travel has changed greatly, but there are some quirks and habits that still make sense to me. When I see a guy in a suit shaking his head dramatically, waving his arms and clenching his jaw, I get it. Chances are, it really is that important. Some issues won’t wait, especially if you’re bouncing up against a deadline and are about to be inaccessible for several hours.

In fact, it’s measurable.
Whether it’s commissions or billable hours, every white collar traveler has a number to hit – for the firm and, more importantly, personally. A manager squeezing in those last few minutes before the phones have to go dark can set people on the right course for the next four hours, resulting in possibly tens of thousands of dollars of value to his company.

Now, that’s the positive side of this. There’s also the crisis scenario. The door’s about to close, and you have only seconds left. Your project is blowing up, and your team needs any information or guidance you can give. Anything you can do will make life that much easier for the half a dozen or more people relying on you. I’ve been on both sides of this one and can assure you that it’s uncomfortable for all involved.

When you’re annoying everyone around you – which you really don’t want to do – you’re comparing that to trying to help your team. So, the choice involves securing the approval of strangers or taking care of people who are important to you. It’s easy to see how that one shakes out.

There is one more scenario to keep in mind: the business traveler before you, hollering and gesticulating, is a complete asshole who is unbelievably desperate or as much attention as he can garner. Do anything except ignore him, and you’ll only make it worse … for everyone.

White Collar Travel: Stupid things business travelers have done

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Sometimes you lose your mind when you’re on the road. You either develop a highly inappropriate sense of entitlement (this is my seat on my plane) or decide that nothing matters, giving you a blank check to behave like an asshole. The combination of professional pressures – in my day, it was the collapse of the dotcom bubble … a bump in the road compared to the 2008 financial crisis – personal travails and frustration of being perpetually in transit sometimes make you snap.

Nobody is impervious to the factors that drive business travelers to idiocy, and those who think they are tend to be the worst afflicted. I remember running into my boss at LaGuardia‘s Marine Air Terminal – I was on a Boston-to-New York run for a few months and flew the Delta Shuttle several times a week . We were delayed, not an unusual occurrence at the time. He spotted me in the lone dining facility in the terminal, walked over and sat down, took a call on his cell and proceeded to help himself to my fries without even giving it a second thought.

But, that’s mild.I encountered plenty of business traveler stupidity when I flew with the white collar set … some of it I saw in the mirror. When you find yourself behaving in this manner, it’s usually time to get a new gig. Some of what I saw remains unshakably glue to my memory.

I’ll never forget one run down south.

One of the joys of extended-stay hotels was the so-called “General Manager’s Reception.” At least, I was told it was. Since I was on a project that closely resembled hell, I could never get back to the hotel (which was across the parking lot) in time to down some free beer.

How did I learn of this phenomenon? I ran into my boss’s boss in the hallway, just outside our client’s offices. He was in town for a meeting and was not a part of our weekly grind. In his hand, he held a plastic cup with piss-colored liquid, the cheap beer that even a hotel can see isn’t worth marking up.

Me: “Uh, maybe you’ll want to throw that out before going inside?”

Him, chuckling: “Yeah, probably not a bad idea.”

In another part of the country, I saw first-hand what poor mixological decision-making can do. If you’re unsure of whether to have alcohol, always err on the side of caution. Always. Your client will understand … especially if medicine is involved. I will never forget being on one project where my boss mused aloud about her boss’s insecurities and the reasons for them. Apparently, mixing her cold medicine with red wine had two side effects: (1) saying really stupid stuff about her boss and (2) doing it loudly.

Moral of the story: If you’re on meds, exhausted or inches from not giving a damn about your career, drink club soda. It looks like alcohol and is often mixed with alcohol … but it won’t lead to the same results.

So, I’ve kicked in two, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’ seen idiocy on the road. Any other white collar travelers want to chime in? I’d love to hear what you’ve seen (or done!).

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White Collar Travel: Five step to healthier road warrior diets

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Sometimes, it seems like the road warrior‘s diet is relegated to the extremes. When a company executive is in town for a meeting – you’re taking your clients out – it’s hefty steaks, heavy cabernets and always more appetizers than a third-world country could consume in a lifetime. When there’s no occasion to shape the meal, on the other hand, you’re looking at suburban Chinese food illuminated by the glow of your dashboard.

It’s tough to strike a balance while you’re traveling … a problem that’s multiplied when you do it all the time. Fast food factors into at least one meal a day, and often, it will be your only meal. Caffeine (and, in my case, nicotine) replaced countless breakfasts, lunches and dinners back in my consulting days. Weight fluctuations were obvious. I’d usually drop 20 pounds in a month and a half when switching from a travel-intensive project to a local one.

Though the pressures of the job and the claims on time can impede proper nutrition, it isn’t impossible to eat well when you live the life of a wandering white collar warrior. You just have to be smart, plan ahead and commit to keeping yourself healthy.

Here are five ways you can avoid the fast food pits and fattening side-effects of client dinners when living the life of a road warrior:1. Choose an extended-stay hotel when possible
Now, what does this have to do with nutrition? Everything! These hotels have small kitchens, and you can stock the fridge with fruits, vegetables and other healthy snacks. When you get back to your room after 14 hours of meetings and deadlines, reach for an apple instead of a snickers bar (or a mini-bottle of bourbon).

2. Don’t always go for the steak
I know this sounds insane, but steakhouses carry other dead animals … not just cows. Would it kill you to opt for the salmon every now and then? While you’re at it, a salad can be savored; it isn’t something you have to endure.

3. Watch what you drink
Hey, I still enjoy a glass of wine or two with a nice dinner. But, you don’t have to kick off the evening with two martinis and close it with a cognac. At some point, switch to club soda or water. You can drink socially without going overboard.

4. Give up fast food
Or, at least cut back on it. When you have to dine and dash, your options do become limited, and not every city has an array of healthy quick-service dining options. When possible, find an alternative to fast food fare. It may take some work, but you should be able to come up with something.

5. Multitask for an extra meal
Breakfast is the first casualty of life on the road. Whether you’re up early to work or you’re trying to squeeze in a few extra minutes of sleep, the morning meal soon becomes a fantasy. Make time for breakfast. Bring some work down with you, and turn it into productive time. Hell, take your laptop to the table – it’s not like anyone’s eating with you.

Click here for more White Collar Travel

[photo by Steve Zak]

SkyMall Monday: Portable Laptop Desk

by Mike Barish on

Business travel can get lonely. You’re either traveling alone or with colleagues whose company you barely enjoy in the office let alone in a Bennigan’s in whatever podunk town in which your company’s satellite office is located. All too often, business travelers spend their free time in their hotel rooms working, eating overpriced-yet-mediocre hotel hamburgers and watching a movie that they would never have considered viewing had they been at home. In those painfully boring, sleepless hours in far-flung towns, even the most stoic of road warriors has turned to every man’s time-filler of choice: internet porn. By day three of any business trip, you’re ready to disregard the fact that your company’s IT department is disgustingly aware of every keystroke you make on your incredibly heavy and sadly outdated company-issued laptop and steer your browser towards whatever perverse videos will help you while away the excruciating hours that stand between you and your return home. Here at SkyMall Monday, we understand your pain. And the SkyMall catalog stands at the ready to help you alleviate that tension in a comfortable and dignified manner. Rather than troll the internet for your favorite fetish while sitting at a cramped desk in your depressing hotel room, now you can recline in your (hopefully clean) bed and conduct some business of your own using the Portable Laptop Desk.This isn’t the first time we’ve tackled portable desks on SkyMall Monday. However, that previous model strapped onto your neck, which isn’t convenient for when you are watching videos of people using strap-ons. When it’s time to seduce yourself on a business trip, you need to be able to relax. Being able to recline while keeping the ten pounds of hot metal and plastic that is your antiquated work computer away from your genitals is just the relief you need to turn boredom into arousal.

Think that laying down with your work computer violates the teachings of the scripture company handbook? Believe that computers should only be used at immobile desks? Prudes like you need to read the SkyMall product description:

Fully adjustable to maximize comfort while in use, the laptop table helps to relieve neck and back pain, and allows for the correct placement of your arms for easy use of your computer… It also eliminates the heat on legs or lap.

When spending special time alone, correct placement of your arms is key. No longer singeing your inner thighs is simply icing on the cake.

Business trips are tedious and draining. Being away from your friends, family and normal routine can make anyone crazy. Rather than let that frustration boil inside you, release the pressure with the Portable Laptop Desk. Just be sure to clean off the keyboard.


Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Healthy travel: a tip list

by Laurel Miller on

You can never have too much travel advice, in my opinion. You can have bad travel advice, but the folks at online travel news site eTurboNews have compiled a great list of tips designed to help you keep your arteries unclogged and your spine in alignment while you fly or road-trip this summer. Nothing new or ground-breaking, but definitely worth repeating.

Part of the list is dedicated to finding more nutritious alternatives to fatty, sodium-laden airport and airline fare. Since childhood, I’ve possessed a deep phobia of airline food, so I’ve always brought my own in-flight meals. Now that tight-fisted domestic airlines are depriving passengers of even a bag of pretzels, all the more reason to hit the grocery store the day before you travel. If you frequently travel last-minute, make sure you keep a stash of healthy snacks, such as unsweetened dried fruit, granola bars, or nuts in the pantry so you can grab-and-go.

There’s good advice, too, on little things you can do to avoid tweaking your back or neck, and preventing those unsightly varicose veins. I would add that deep vein thrombosis (DVT) is a much more serious, life-threatening issue on long-haul flights. Get up once an hour and take a lap around the plane, and move your legs by doing some stretches in your seat. Happy, unbloated, limber travels!

[Via shine.yahoo.com]