Former US Presidents clueless about Canadian border rules

Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush managed to amaze an audience at a town-hall style meeting in Toronto.

As of this past Monday, all Canadians trying to cross the border to enter the US will need a passport, much to their annoyance. When asked about the passport situation, both past Presidents showed their total lack of knowledge of the situation and were both unaware of the new rules.

Speakers in the audience were quick to point out that we have been friends with the Canadians for centuries, and that these new rules are slowly chipping away at the foundations that form our friendship.

It really is amazing to see how not one, but two Presidents admit to a total lack of knowledge of something so vital. Bush was in power just 5 months ago, and Clinton is married to the Secretary of State – and neither of them even knew about the new rules. Bush even mentioned the EZ pass, which is of course a wireless tollway payment system, not a border crossing card. He probably meant to refer to the Nexus Card program.

Still, it would be a wise idea for future Presidents visiting our neighbors up north to brush up on their homework before speaking, especially on a topic that is annoying so many Canadians.

Be nice … or else pepper spray

Dear Gadling Reader,

It has come to our attention that on Monday, March 2nd, on the Canada/U.S. border just east of Vancouver, a dance instructor from Coquitlam, B.C. attempted to cross and visit his second home in Washington, where he had left his wallet.

The dance instructor, Desiderio Fortunato, was asked to shut his car off by the American border officer. Unfortunately for Mr. Fortunato, his dance instructor discipline got the better of him and he asked the officer to “say please.”

Then his dance instructor stubbornness got the better of him and he refused three times to turn off the car, because the officer refused three times to say please.

Mr. Fortunato was then pepper sprayed by the border officer, which, if Wikipedia is to be believed, caused him “immediate closing of the eyes, difficulty breathing, runny nose, and coughing. The duration of its effects depend on the strength of the spray but the average full effect lasts around thirty to forty-five minutes, with diminished effects lasting for hours.” Then he was taken into custody by several officers and held in jail for three hours, and subsequently dismissed with a warning to be more cooperative.

According to the National Post, Mr. Fortunato “pulled a similar stunt at the same border crossing about one year ago. In that case, he was ordered to wait hours to be questioned before being allowed to cross.”

In conclusion, we have no choice but to dub Mr. Fortunato “kind of a douche.” Still, the pepper spray may have been a little extreme, and he should probably sue.

“I asked him three times and when I didn’t turn the car off, because he didn’t say please, he pepper sprayed me…. It was terrible. For half an hour or so I couldn’t see anything.” –Mr. Forunato, Kind of a Douche

Sincerely, Annie Scott and the Gadling Staff