SkyMall Monday: SkyMall Kitties

by Mike Barish on


We’ve covered a lot of SkyMall contraptions here at Gadling. And, while many of those products have improved the lives of our furry friends, we’ve never been able to truly capture the essence of SkyMall’s relationship with animals. Now, however, the video above does that for us. SkyMall Kitties, created by Nina Katchadourian, is the best use of the internet ever.

It’s rare that we encounter someone who loves SkyMall as much as we do. But this week, SkyMall Monday is honored, excited and a wee bit giddy to profile not a product, but a person whose singular passion has enriched our lives. Nina, an artist based in Brooklyn, NY, produced the song and video that pay tribute to the cats of SkyMall. Needless to say, she has a place at the SkyMall Monday table anytime she chooses to join us.

And join us she did, for an exclusive interview. You’ve seen the video on other sites, but only Gadling spoke with Nina about SkyMall Kitties, her favorite SkyMall products and the unheard voices of SkyMall Puppies.How does one become inspired to write a song about the kittens of SkyMall?
First, you develop a compulsive travel habit, almost superstitious in character, which dictates that you have to flip through every single page of the SkyMall catalog each time you get on a plane. Second, you have to wind up on a lot of planes as part of your profession, which I do-I’m a visual artist, and I travel quite a bit for exhibitions and lectures.

Have you always been a fan of the catalog?
“Fan” might not be quite the right word. “Stalker” might be more accurate. I’ve been taking issues from the seat pocket in front of me for nearly a decade.

You’re amongst friends now. We share your compulsion. But, what do you actually do for a living?
I lead a few different lives. First and foremost, I’m a visual artist working in a lot of different media, including photography, sculpture, sound and video. I also lead a sort of sub-life playing music and play in a band called The Wingdale Community Singers based in Brooklyn. I also work part-time running a program for emerging artists called The Viewing Program at a great museum called The Drawing Center in New York.

The video is obviously very pro-cat. Do you own any felines?
Three of them, in fact: Sardine, Stickies, and Minimus, who appear in that order in the “Mount Rushmore” sequence of “Sky Mall Kitties.” The fourth cat on Mount Rushmore is Ellington, who belongs to a friend.

You’re shameless with your cat plugs. More importantly, do you own any SkyMall products?
Can’t say I do, although for a long time I’ve coveted that wedge thing that lets you lie down without having to smush your face into the floor when someone gives you a back rub. [Author’s Note: Nina is referring to the SkyRest Travel Pillow, which SkyMall Monday has covered in the past and I continue to test regularly.]

So is that your favorite SkyMall product?
I can’t really pick one product, but my favorite product image is probably the one of the guy slumped onto the inflatable pillow on his tray table [Author’s Note: She’s referring to the SkyRest Travel Pillow again and that’s pretty awesome.]. It looks so ridiculous, yet every time I’m on a long flight I secretly wish I had one, no matter how dumb it looks. I am also in mourning over a picture that doesn’t appear the same way it used to. It advertises a product that allows you to connect two beds in order to make one big bed. [Author’s Note: She’s now referring to the very awesome Create-a-King Bed Doubler.] They still have the picture, but they changed the caption. The caption used to read, “Together forever…or only for one night.” It was so romantic.

Let’s go back to the song and video. Do you feel bad for saying that one of the dogs looks like a seal?
Absolutely not. That is a factual statement, so I am cold-blooded about it: that dog DOES look like a seal. Nothing wrong with seals. Nothing wrong with dogs, either, I should say; the condescending anti-dog viewpoint of SkyMall Kitties reflects the views of the SkyMall Kitties themselves, not those of the maker of the song or video.

Speaking of dogs, will there be a SkyMall Puppies response?
I am crossing my fingers someone takes that up.

If people take away one important lesson from SkyMall Kitties, what would you most like them to learn?
I’d like people to realize that even when you are incredibly bored on an airplane, you can put that time into making something that can make a lot of people happy for just a few moments. Lots of “wasted time” can be an opportunity to pull from the mundane world around you and extract something of interest or value.

At the end of the day, do you believe that the SkyMall Kitties are happy?
We raise our voices and celebrate them in joyful song, but the SkyMall Kitties are actually a bit bored, disgruntled, and disdainful of those around them, like someone who has been on a long flight and is ready to land.

Very special thanks to Nina Katchadourian for producing SkyMall Kitties and for taking the time to talk to Gadling. Nina has made the song available for download here (for a $1 fee – totally worth it). You can learn more about Nina on her website. Thanks, as well, to Matt Gross, The New York Times’ Frugal Traveler, who alerted us to SkyMall Kitties via Twitter. If you’re a Twitter user, you can and should follow @frugaltraveler. Hat tip to The Awl, who appear to have posted the video before anyone else.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Cat Toilet Training System

by Mike Barish on

For some reason, despite the fact that I don’t like cats, feline products get a lot of attention from SkyMall Monday. We’ve featured a litter box and a talking food bowl. But this week, we’re tackling a problem that has long flummoxed cat owners. You see, cats already act like they own their homes. They’re aloof, ambivalent and seem to genuinely enjoy watching humans scoop up their feces. It’s that last issue that sticks out the most. How can they truly be the heads of their households when they can’t even clean up after themselves? In order for cats to completely evolve into our furry overlords, they’ll need to stop pooping in litter boxes and start using toilets. While it may seem terrifying strange for cats to use toilets, it’s the logical progression towards them dominating and overthrowing their owners. However, cats can’t teach themselves to use the facilities. They’ll need their current “masters’ to assist them. And knowing how insane cat owners really are, I’m certain that they will have no problem being party to their own eventual enslavement. And that’s why they will all be thrilled to discover that SkyMall is ready to help them take the first step towards building making their cats independent. Because SkyMall now offers the Cat Toilet Training System.Cats may lack opposable thumbs and the ability to wipe their own butts, but they have the desire to humiliate their owners and an affinity for licking themselves. And that’s why they’ll take to toilet training like a squirrel takes to underpants. Sure, they’ll need you to open the bathroom door. And to flush the toilet. And to update the issues of Cat Fancy that you keep in the bathroom. But it will all be worth it when you’re twenty minutes late for work because your cat has explosive diarrhea and you couldn’t get into the bathroom to take a shower.

Think that toilets are only for people and thirsty dogs? I bet you don’t even believe that monkeys should be on ice skates. Well, the animal experts over at SkyMall beg to differ.

The best way to deal with the unpleasant task of cleaning out the litter box is to do away with it for good. With the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System, you can teach your cat to use any human toilet in eight weeks or less. The age or weight of your cat doesn’t matter and it works in multiple cat households too.

I suppose that toilet training your cat is a better solution to the litter box issue than hot gluing its anus shut. Though I do fear that young, tiny kittens will fall into the toilet where they will fall prey to abandoned alligators that live in the sewers.

So, in eight weeks, you can finally make yourself completely subservient to your cat. Once he can use the toilet, there will be no stopping him from finding a job of his own, supporting himself and kicking you out of the house. And while being homeless may be tough, at least then you can start pooping wherever you want. Surely some cat will come along and scoop it up.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.


10 Ways Your Cat Will Punish You for Traveling

by Annie Scott on


You may love to travel, but chances are, your cat is not into it when you’re gone.

If you think about it from your cat’s perspective, the first time you went away, he (or she) probably thought he was being abandoned. When you came back, he was probably all snuggles and relief. Then, slowly, he realized that you pretty much always come back.

And that’s when evil was born.

In the eyes of your cat, your absence is a minor annoyance — which quickly becomes a major annoyance if you stay away for a long period of time. As you surely already know, if you annoy your cat, you will be punished.

So, here they are, The 10 Ways Your Cat Will Punish You for Traveling — and how to thwart his nefarious plans.

1. Toilet paper obliteration.
Cats don’t use toilet paper, but they know that you do, and they view it as an unnecessary privilege (which happens to be a lot of fun to revoke destroy). Thwart him: Take the toilet paper roll off the roller before you leave. TP’s not nearly as much fun to play with if it doesn’t spin. Still, while you’re at it, put it in a cupboard to be safe.

2. Plant consumption.
Your cat may occasionally nip at your houseplants, but if you are gone awhile, they have no qualms about chowing down on the better part of a scrumptious indoor palm. It’s not about hunger, it’s about getting even. Thwart him: Put your plants where he can’t get them; up high or in a closed room.3. Throwing up on your Persian rug.
Whatever your most expensive floor covering is, prepare to come home to a nice pile of vom on it. This is most often a direct result of #2, so to thwart him, follow the instruction above.

4. Pooing on your bed.
This is an act of domination. Pooping on your high thread count linens is your cat saying “Guess what? While you were gone, I was in charge. And when you get back, there gonna be some changes.” Thwart him: Close your bedroom door. Does your cat really need to sleep in your bed without you? No.

5. Expensive claw-made couch modifications.
Without you there to shout, your cat is happy to claw up your fine furnishings (in peace at last). It just feels so good. Thwart him: The only way to stop your cat from doing this is to train him beforehand. Make sure you always squirt your kitty with water if you catch him clawing, then pick him up and set him in front of a scratching post. If you see him clawing the scratching post on his own, give him a treat. He’ll get the idea eventually. (If he feels like it.)

6. Writing utensil chewing.
Your cat is very likely to nom on your writing utensils or anything you use regularly to ensure you will have a constant reminder of what you did wrong (left him alone). Thwart him: Put your stuff away.

7. Scoot scoot crash.
“Scoot scoot crash” is a technical term for your cat’s hobby of delicately pushing everything off the table, the shelf or what-have-you. If it’s not nailed down or bigger than a catbox, expect to find it on the floor. Thwart him: Nail stuff down. Just kidding; put your stuff away.

8. Finding new hiding places.
You may come home to no cat at all. Your sabbatical is a great time for him to explore the house and find new places to hide, such as inside TV stand, behind the books on the shelf or in a shoebox in your closet. In addition to hiding himself, he may also hide anything you didn’t nail down in a whole new place you’ve never thought to look — forget “under the couch.” How amateur. Thwart him: As above, put your stuff away, and when you come home to no cat, open a can of tuna and set it on the floor. Watch to see from whence he comes. You may have to do this a couple of times in different rooms before you discover the exact location.

9. Making his toys disappear.
Your cat may punish you by being an ungrateful sourpuss, achieved by hiding all his cat toys in those new hiding places. “Where’s that freaking mousie?!” may come out of your exasperated, travel-weary and cuteness-starved mouth. Thwart him: Sorry, you can’t. If the cat hides his own toys, they are under the couch or lost to the universe. Somewhere, there is a dimension filled with cat toys of yore. It’s physics.

10. Hatred.
In addition to hiding, your cat may behave like an absolute jerkstore when you get back; ignoring you or even hissing at you. Thwart him: Time heals all wounds. Hiss back at him and wait a day or so. You will probably never be forgiven, but kitty will be back to purring all over you like a motorboat just as soon as he forgets you were gone.

Missing your pet when you travel? Just borrow one

by Katie Hammel on

I love my two cats and I miss them dearly them when I travel for extended periods of time. Though there are more and more options for traveling with a pet, I’m still not about to bring them with me. It’s just too expensive, too much of a hassle, and too much stress on the pet to fly them with me for a two-week jaunt. So they stay home and I snuggle-attack any furry friends I happen to make along my travels.

For dog lovers, there’s another option available. As Peter Greenberg showcases in a video posted on his site, several hotels around the country are now offering special pet “rental” programs. At select Fairmont hotels, guests can borrow a dog for a day to take it out on a walk around town.

At the Fairmont Tremblant in Quebec, Gracie the canine ambassador is available for walks. At the Fairmont Copley Plaza in Boston, Catie the former guide-dog fills the role. Other hotels offer similar programs, like the Ritz Carlton Bachelor Gulch in Beaver Creek. Greenberg also highlights a program run by a shelter near Aspen. The shelter “rents” out dogs up for adoption for play dates. Many local hotels like the St. Regis and The Little Nell even allow the dogs to stay overnight. Of course, as Greenberg points out, the hope is that the temporary owner will then become a permanent one.

So next time you are traveling and missing your pets at home, you may not be out of luck. Just look for a hotel that offers one of these innovative pet-lover-friendly programs.

[via Peter Greenberg]

SkyMall Monday: Hidden Litter Box

by Mike Barish on

It’s confession time: I hate cats. Well, hate is a strong word. I just don’t understand cats. They seem completely ambivalent about my presence, selfish and they pee indoors. Dogs go outside like civilized animals. Cats defecate indoors in a box. That’s simply not natural. I can’t have the SkyMall Monday headquarters smelling like feline pee and poop. But, I understand that some people are lonely, have given up on the prospect of human relationships and have acquired any number of cats to keep them company on Saturday nights during Real Housewives of Atlanta marathons. And those people may want to hide the shame of having become someone who wears sweatpants in public, buys ice cream in bulk and gives her cats names like Sir Francis Snugglesworth and Purrack Obama.* Those people need to gussy up their homes and try to hide the fact that the inmates cats have taken over the asylum. And to those people, SkyMall says, “Yes we can…hide your cat poop.” This week, we take a closer look at the Hidden Litter Box.

For years, people have hidden their cats’ litter boxes in the bathroom, the kitchen or a spare bedroom. They’d provide their cats with privacy and keep the smell and the fecal matter in lesser-trafficked areas of their homes. And while these solutions may have kept the litter boxes out of sight, they lacked two things: the art of deception and a fake plant.

What fun is hiding your cat’s little box if you’re not doing it like some kind of super spy? The Hidden Litter Box is like James Bond’s litter box. In fact, I bet 007 has one for Octopussycat. And what home isn’t made less depressing by a fake plant that smells oddly like cat pee?

Think I’m meowing up the wrong tree? Well, take a gander at the product description:

With its Tuscany handfinish, our new litter box looks like a real clay pot, complete with an attractive, artificial decorator plant. Simply turn the entrance to the wall and no one will know (if your cat doesn’t tell)!

See, it even works with loose-lipped talking cats! Beat that with your “I keep my cat’s little box in the laundry room.”

So, tell Meowington von Catburt IV to keep his mouth shut and start peeing in the flower pot and then get back to eating Swiss Miss packets with a spoon, because the Hidden Flower pot is your new only friend.

* If your cat’s name is actually Purrack Obama, I’ll admit that you’re kind of awesome.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.