The best place for Santa to live is Kyrgyzstan

Last night was Tuttle Park’s annual holiday party. Every year this small recreation center of Columbus Parks and Recreation treats kids from surrounding neighborhoods to craft projects, food treats, games and Santa. Our Bolivian friends and Japanese friends were there, as were assorted other folks who I recognized from other years.

When Santa arrived about an hour into the party with not the loudest or jolliest Ho! Ho! Ho! in the world, the outfit did it’s magic and kids clamored to get in line to tell him what he or she wants. My son said seeing Santa was the best part of the party. This is only one holiday happening Santa has to attend–never mind Christmas Eve where he has a whole lot of globe-hopping to do.

If Santa really did make the rounds on Christmas Eve, heading down chimneys and through doorways around the world to deliver gifts, according to a study by a group of Swedish engineers, he should live in Kyrgyzstan to minimize a time crunch.

These engineers have calculated the distances between various places in the world where the bulk of the world’s population live and came up with the location of the best place for Santa’s workshop. Kyrgyzstan is it. That’s much harder to pronounce and spell than the North Pole is, however, so I don’t expect this will stick any time soon. What a clever study, though. It might give Kyrgyzstan a tourist boost if they figured out a Santa theme park or something. There’s a Santa Claus, Indiana that capitalizes on Santa Claus. Why can’t there be a Santa Claus, Kyrgyzstan? I can see the CD title. Caroling with Kris Kringle in Kyrgyzstan. [via Jaunted]

On the Lonely Planet Web page on Kyrgyzstan the country is described as: “No whistles and bells, just friendly faces and some mighty big mountains.” If Santa moved here that would change. There would be whistles and bells–sleigh bells and whistles each time he rounds up his reingeer to head out. Can’t you just see the building in the photo fixed up like Santa’s workshop? Slap a few giant candy canes in front, and you’ve got the beginning of a whole new look.

Holiday Cheer from Columbus, Ohio: Flashing Santa

Iva’s post about her New York City subway experience with Mr. Upchuck reminded me of a few of my own New York City moments. One in particular was an avoided fist-fight while waiting in line to get on a Greyhound bus. I wasn’t involved in the fight, but part of the group telling the folks getting riled to chill.

One never knows when an unexpected moment will occur. That’s why they stand out so vividly. In Singapore, I don’t know if I ever had an unexpected moment from a street scene. Nothing stands out. Singapore is one of those places that anything unexpected is not on the street level where anyone might see it. In New Delhi, there were so many unexpected moments that they became expected. Anytime I ventured out into the city, I saw something that took me by surprise. In Taiwan, I was confused a good bit of the time, so I’m not sure if I would have recognized an unexpected moment if I saw one.

Because Columbus, Ohio is an urban area with urban issues, unexpected moments do happen, but I usually miss them because I live here. Generally, I’m not looking much further from the viewpoint of my daily life of getting things done along the paths I know well. Today, though, there was most definitely an unexpected moment at a place I pass all the time.

As my husband turned the corner from High Street to go towards the street where we live, there was Santa Claus sitting in a wheelchair on the corner with his pants undone. He wasn’t flashing exactly; he was peeing, facing traffic while talking with another man. Actually, the man just had on the Santa hat. The rest of his clothes were regular street attire. Still, there were snow flurries and this version of Santa is not something I expected to see at all. Truth is certainly stranger than fiction.

A Greyhound bus Thanksgiving travel adventure

When we walked into the Greyhound bus station in downtown Columbus today a little after 12 pm to buy my dad a one-way ticket to Cincinnati, he asked my daughter if she’d ever been to the station. “Nooo,” she said, her voice implying disdain, as if, why in the world would she ever have the reason to go there. My daughter is 15, so you can imagine. It’s the way they talk.

My son, who is 5, proclaimed that the station looked like an airport. Sure enough, it was like an airport on a holiday weekend, except there were no announcements over a load speaker every few minutes. There were lines that snaked around almost to heading out one door before coming back in another and there were the delays, we’ve all come to know with airport travel. Buses are also part of the mysterious delay game. My dad’s bus had yet to arrive. For some reason, buses out of Cleveland were 2 hours late leaving there. That was creating delays on down the line. Since a bus can’t claim air traffic congestion, I wondered what was the problem. No one at the bus station seemed to know.

For my dad, who flew from Stewart airport in Newburgh to Detroit and then to Columbus, arriving a little after 10 this morning, this delay did not do wonders to his holiday travel. His travel already survived a few snafus. The flight out of Stewart was overbooked, and he didn’t have a seat assignment. This was because, according to him, he didn’t book through Northwest’s Web site. He refused the offer of a flight a few hours later which would have routed him through Atlanta and back to Columbus. Since he held firm, the ticket person was able to get someone to agree to be bumped in my dad’s place. Good deal for them. A free ticket anywhere in the United States.

Then there was the delay leaving the Detroit airport. But, all in all, the trip was not too bad. He was waiting outside the airport at Baggage Claim when I drove up about the time I thought he’d get in after I checked the flight status. Picking him up was a matter of swinging into a spot next to the curb and swinging back into the line of cars heading out of the airport once he and his bags were safely inside the car.

After a quick visit, here we were at the bus station trying to find out information about what was going on with the bus so he could make it to his sister’s in northern Kentucky. The ticket sellers had no idea what was going on. One person told me that when she asked about a later connecting bus from Cincinnati to Louisville, she was told by a personnel guy that he didn’t have the information. Perhaps he was unfamiliar with using Greyhound’s Web site. Funny, because that’s how I found out about the 12:20 bus out of Columbus.

Eventually, a bus was brought in to start from Columbus and head to Cincinnati with as many passengers as it could fit, although the driver was surprised because he never drives that route. My dad and about six others didn’t make it on the bus. It was unclear how long the bus from Cleveland would be. Harumph!

But, at this point, things got more interesting. In between giving my kids money for Cheetos and a bottle of lemonade out of the vending machine so I could get change to put more money in the parking meter, I was chatting it up with a guy who heads to Cincinnati via bus quite often. He said with the price of gas, it was much cheaper than driving there. He’s also interested in living overseas so we talked about the pros and cons of that. After a bit, it felt like we’d become traveling pals–even though I wasn’t going anywhere.

After discovering he was going to be left behind, still at the mercy of Greyhound, the guy decided to drive to Cincinnati and that he would take the two women, who had been unable to get information earlier, and my dad with him if they’d chip in for gas. Since the guy lives near the bus station, after my dad got back all but 20 percent of the cost of his ticket, I dropped him off next to the guy’s red pick-up truck. The two women were already tucked in the seat in back. We waved as they drove off, shouting Happy Thanksgiving. I never caught this guy’s name, but he has an awesome smile.

Right about now, the TANK bus, the commuter line from Cincinnati to Florence, Kentucky, should be arriving at Sears at the Florence Mall. Hopefully, my dad is on that bus since his sister is waiting for him there. My dad’s trip back from northern Kentucky on Friday should be a lot easier. I’m driving down to get him.

Here’s how Greyhound bus ticket refunds work, in case you’re in a similar situation. Round-trip tickets are good for one year, so if you think you’ll use the ticket later on, hang onto it. One-way tickets are good for 6 months. You can get a refund of all but 20% of the cost of the ticket. That’s my understanding of it anyway. The woman connecting in Cincinnati to Louisville chose to hang onto her Columbus to Cincinnati ticket for later and will use the Cincinnati to Louisville portion today. I hope she makes it in time for the turkey.

International festivals: Celebrate the love

This weekend has one of the best events in Columbus, I think. If it’s not the best, it’s pretty darned good. The Columbus International Festival pulls together people from all over the world in two days of food, dance, music performances, displays, and a parade of nations. The groups that come aren’t just local, but from various parts of the world. Sure, it’s one way to see just how diverse Columbus is, but it also captures the richness of the people who call the U.S. home. The people who go are as diverse as the people who are vendors and performers. (This Flickr shot by a. feng is of an African dancer at the Columbus festival. I love the colors.)

My best time to go is right before it closes on Sunday. Prices are slashed so if you have a feasting spirit, you can take away truckloads of food if you want. My problem is deciding if I want to head to Denmark for a dose of frikadeller of to load up on Indian and Greek fare.

Columbus isn’t the only city to throw an international festival in November. I found three others.

Ellen DeGenere’s Wish You Were Here tribute to towns. Add yours.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Web site has an AOL feature called Wish You Were Here. This is where people can enter details about the towns where they live. Sure, you can add in the best places to eat, scenic attractions and best activities, but to add some extra flavoring, there are catagories like unusual talents, facinating characters and most talented pets. There are also photos.

I did some poking around on the site and here’s what I found out so far, there are 25 states that have a town or city called Columbus. Columbus, Ohio is listed first which makes sense since it’s the only one that’s a state capital and also the largest of them. After typing in Columbus, Ohio to see what came up, I tried Hindman, Kentucky, my mom’s hometown–a small place in southeastern Kentucky. This brought me to Kentucky’s page. (There’s also a Hindman, Texas.) Nothing is on Hindman, Kentucky’s page, but a map showing where it is. On the Kentucky page there are 10 different listings in Kentucky. (Ohioans have been busier filling in details I have to say) One person, though waxes poetic about Northern Kentucky where I have two aunts. Once you get past the malls and suburban sprawl of Northern Kentucky, I’d say there are some interesting places to go. One of my most favorite is the Dinsmore Homestead.

With some further link clicking, I also found out that Morro Bay, California has an man with an unusual talent. He stands by the ocean every day trying to fly pieces of trash as if they were kites. Napkins, soda cans, whatever he can find, gets attached to a stick with string.

In a way this site reminds me of a gigantic scrapbook photo album which is probably the point. As people from around the U.S. add to it, it has the potential to make the U.S. look like an engaging, diverse place that is more than just the latest McDonald’s that’s opening. Clever idea. I like it.