British couple awarded over $35,000 for “loss of enjoyment” on cruise

When Terence and Cynthia Milner booked a 15-week, $100,000 round-the-world cruise on Cunard’s Queen Victoria, they were expecting the trip of a lifetime. Instead, they claim the experience was so horrible that they had to get off the ship early in Hawaii, at which point they were “in a terrible state.”

The problem: apparently the first night they heard unbearable noise in their cabin. They were moved, and moved again and again but continued to find each successive cabin equally unsatisfactory until they could take it no more. Cunard refunded the couple nearly $80,000 for the portion of the cruise they missed, but the Milners wanted more. The took Cunard to court, and were awarded an additional 22,000 pounds (about $36,600) with the majority of the money awarded for “distress and disappointment.” Another portion of the settlement was awarded to cover the £4,300 worth of formal dresses Mrs. Milner bought, which she is now unable to wear because they are an “unwelcome reminder of the cruise.”

According to the BBC, the Milners claim they were first moved to a cabin fitted for the disabled, which was located near the engine and was very noisy. They were then moved to another cabin, but were concerned that they wouldn’t have it the whole time because it was booked by another couple joining the cruise later. By this time, Milners were terribly afflicted with mouth ulcers and breathing difficulties, so they jumped ship in Hawaii, where they vacationed for six weeks, all the while “exhausted and inconsolable.”

Exhausted and inconsolable in Hawaii? I suppose that could be true….if they Milners couldn’t find contentment on a $100,000 round-the-world luxury cruise, I doubt they could find it anywhere.

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Continental sham divorces pass court test

Back in May, Continental Airlines sued nine pilots for getting sham divorces. The marital splits were part of a play for pension benefits, with the “ex” collecting while the pilot keeps earning. It’s good cash if you can find it, but Continental wasn’t thrilled at having to bear that extra cost. On Monday, a federal judge told the airline to live with it, ruling in favor of the pilots. Regardless of the pilots’ intentions, the judge said there wasn’t anything that would let him rule in favor of the airline.

Continental is considering an appeal, which makes sense given the money involved. The airline paid between $10 million and $11 million in pension distributions to the nine pilots, with some individual payments reaching as high as $900,000. In some cases, the spouses remarried after the check cleared.

Well, $11 million … do you know how many bags of peanuts pretzels that buys?

Man sues Chicago Hilton for $50,000 after tripping over luggage

It seems there’s no end to the ridiculous things people will sue over these days. There was the alcoholic who drunkenly fell down the stairs and then sued the hotel for over-serving him, the guy who got electrocuted while trying to sneak onto an Amtrak train and then sued the company for parking the trains where it did, and many, many more.

Now a man is suing Chicago’s Palmer House Hilton for $50,000 after he tripped over some unattended luggage in the hotel lobby. The complaint, posted on a Chicago legal website, alleges that “on or about October 7, 2007” the plaintiff, Richard J. Wood, “tripped, stumbled, and/or fell” over the luggage. (Well…which was it? Did he merely stumble, or was it a fall? And how does he not know which day it happened?)

The suit, in its convoluted legalese, alleges that the Hilton staff were careless and negligent in leaving the suitcase out where Wood could trip on it. Apparently, Wood bears no responsibility for not looking where he was going. There’s no word on how the man was physically injured, but the suit claims he suffered “great pain, anguish and suffering, loss of a normal life”. Was it $50,000 worth of anguish? Unless Hilton settles, it’ll be up to the court to decide.

Drunk mailman threatens mayhem, grounded for half decade

Why is it always the postmen?

Robert Russell had added “former” to his “mail carrier” title after being laid off by Royal Mail. So, he took a trip to Malaga, Spain. This isn’t unusual; plenty of people do something nice for themselves after losing their jobs. It’s great for morale.

It didn’t work.

Russell got wasted on lager and vodka in the Gatwick departure lounge. By the time he was literally flying high, he threatened to kill his fellow passengers and at one point tried to get off the plane early … via an emergency exit at 30,000 feet. The closest thing to a caring moment was when this unruly passenger yelled at a flight attendant, “Oi, blondie. Come and sit here so I can stroke you.”

Touching.

At one point, he said he would take down the entire plane … an awfully ambitious claim for a guy who couldn’t get the emergency door open. Eventually, crew and passengers were able to subdue the former postal employee, following his physical display of stereotype. .

All this happened on October 15, 2008. The Brighton Crown Court has finally ruled. Russell is banned from every airport in the United Kingdom for five years and will have to pay a fine of £4,643. A 12-month prison sentence was suspended for two years. And, in case there’s hope for the passenger’s humanity, he’s been ordered to complete 200 hours of community service.

As crazy as this incident sounds, in-flight disruptions are more common in Gatwick than you may realize. Sussex Police had to address 58 incidents on planes last year … an increase of almost 20 percent from the 50 in 2007.

Jodie Foster or me. Speeding stories. Who faired better?

Reading about Jodie Foster’s speeding ticket experience reminded me of my own ticket four Sundays ago, and the adage about how important it is to be polite when stopped by the police. In case you missed this bit of celebrity gossip, Jodie Foster was clocked allegedly going 54 in a 35 mile an hour speed zone. Horrors. No, that’s not the gist of the gossip.

What is the story is that she argued with the police, and to make it a bit more interesting, a film crew from truTV’s reality show “Speeders ” was on the scene hoping to get her to sign a waiver so they could use the footage of her getting a ticket. She didn’t sign the waiver. Good for her. Still, Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, do not argue with the police.

According to the news, Jodie sputtered and argued that she was not going that fast. Maybe not. It is true that sometimes speed guns aren’t accurate. However, that said, Jodie, don’t argue. Arguing will get you no where and getting a ticket will not go any faster. You will be on your way when the policeman is finished.

Here’s what I did when I was stopped.

Like Jodie, when the officer stopped me, I was genuinely surprised. I didn’t think I was speeding. In my case, I thought something might have been wrong with my tail light. But, I took the ticket, was polite, and went on my way. At the time, I hoped he would notice just how polite I was and let me go on my way with a friendly warning. No such luck. Next step.

Then I had a lawyer go with me to court. I was still polite, but interested in making sure the ticket would not carry a point. Plus, I had my doubts.

When I talked with the prosecutor, he looked at my record–squeaky clean and then looked at what the ticket said–the officer had written down that I was polite. See? He then told me about people who don’t behave as nicely as I did, took out his pen, and reduced the speed. I still paid the fine–politely.

All in all, I left the courtroom feeling good. While I sat in traffic court watching case after case of people being polite and the prosecutor and the magistrate looking to cut them a fair break, I thought about how civility does pay off. From what I remember, everyone received some sort of break. No one got off, but everyone got a break–even the guy who kept forgetting to take off his hat. Each time he took it off, he apologized for forgetting-politely.

Jodie, next time, save it for court. You’ll be able to have your say, but be nice. To be fair, with the camera crew in on the scene, I can imagine how it would be hard to not lose it. No one was interested in my ticket. As polite as I was, it would have made for dull TV anyway.

By the way, I was one of the only people to have a lawyer. According to this article, having a lawyer is a good idea. Ever since my day in court, I am carefully watching my speed. I wouldn’t want to let that nice prosecutor down.