Stick to your diet – Cruise tip

If you want to avoid gaining weight on a cruise, call the cruise line and ask them to send you a menu — or go online and print it out before your trip.

Create your own menu for the week from the existing cruise menu and stick to it when you go on your cruise. If you know what you’re planning on eating before you go on your trip, you’re less likely to eat foods that you normally try and stay away from. Sticking to your diet will stop you from feeling guilty about eating too much and help you relax.

Book early – Cruise trip tip

Cruisers who purchase their cruise packages at least three months in advance may receive deep discounts to the tune of 50% — or more.

Cruise lines often reward early bookers handsomely, because the sooner a particular cruise is booked to capacity, the sooner they can begin ramping-up efforts to book other cruises on the same ship.

Booking early is also a wise step for those eager to snag a particular room or deck before the thousands of late-booking passengers get their chance.

Incontinent and impotent after fall in cruise ship spa is worth $9.5 million

In 2006, British Fitness instructor Danny Simpson slipped on the wet floor of the spa on board the Norwegian Cruise line’s “Norwegian Crown”. Mr. Simpson was employed by Steiner Transocean, responsible for operating the spa facilities on the cruise line.

When he fell, he suffered a back injury that made him impotent and incontinent. And apparently, that kind of suffering is worth $9.5 million. The defendant is obviously not content with the ruling, and has already filed papers seeking a new trial, or a reduction of the award.

Sadly, not much is known about the incident itself – whether the floor was not supposed to be wet, or whether the spa operator failed to ensure wet floors were made slip free. But if a court is willing to award just under ten million Dollars, I suspect someone screwed up enough to warrant that kind of cash.

The damages were awarded to cover his economic losses, medical expenses and future pain and suffering. Nine and a half million Dollars gets you heck of a lot of Viagra and adult diapers.

Hot travel trend for 2010 — naked cruises?

The UK association of travel agents (ABTA) has just released its predictions for 2010 – and they are mostly in line with what everyone else expects.

They see Dubai becoming a hot destination, thanks to massive drops in prices. They also predict that charity and volunteer vacations (voluntourism) will be big.

So far, so good. Then we get to the one that really stands out – naked cruising. Apparently, the tourist industry is going to actively target naturists, and cruise companies will play an important role in attracting new naked customers.

I really don’t know what to make of this, but I’m also not a naturist myself. I can imagine that walking around naked on a cruise ship could be a relaxing thing to do. I just hope they use plastic covers on the seats, as the idea of sitting down for dinner on a dining room seat that was previously used by a fat nude bloke just doesn’t thrill me too much.

A quick Google search shows that none of the major cruise lines have jumped on this naked trend just yet, and I have not heard from any of my cruise PR contacts that they plan to introduce nude cruises. Still, 2010 isn’t here yet, so we may be in for a surprise.

How about you — Would you like to take a naked cruise?

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Expedition Review: On Board the MV Orion


Where do people go when they’ve already been everywhere? On a ship that goes to places nobody else can get to. The MV Orion is such a ship, custom-built for expedition-style travel that takes you to the world’s more inaccessible places–place like Papua New Guinea, Australia’s wild northwestern Kimberley coastline, the remote corners of Indonesia, the lesser-known side of Antarctica, and as was my good fortune, the uninhabited windswept islands of New Zealand’s sub-antarctic. In English, those islands are: Macquarie Island, Campbell Island, Auckland Islands, the Snares, and Stewart Island–all forgotten bits of rock and shrubs in the Southern Ocean. Places where birds outnumber humans by about a million to one and if it’s not raining, then it’s about to.

It takes a certain kind of traveler to embark on such a voyage. This is not your typical spring break cruise to St. Thomas. Yes, there is a lounge with a talented musical act that plays late into the night. Yes, there is a spiral staircase near the bow with shiny brass handrails and a glass elevator shooting up to the top deck. Yes, the cruise director makes announcements on the loudspeaker (“dress warmly “), and yes, one eats abundantly and well (the food is extraordinary), however . . . there are some key differences.
Perhaps most important is that the Orion experience is intimate. While the cruise ship industry is trending towards behemoth floating cities (population 6,000) the MV Orion carried only 75 passengers (during my expedition) along with a crew of 75 (not such a bad ratio). Over the course of two weeks I had the chance to get to know every single passenger on board and what’s more, we all liked each other.

Indeed, it’s not where you travel, but who you travel with that matters. The two weeks I spent on the MV Orion were blessedly asshole-free. In fact, my fellow shipmates were all really cool people–not the rich and famous or the kind of spoiled, pretentious passport-boaster you find flying first class–just passionate, smart travelers chasing their wanderlust down under. Enamored birdwatchers were in search of the rare species, retirees were living out their lifelong dreams, a honeymooning couple was being unconventional, map nerds like me kept checking the library’s atlas against our personal GPS, and everyone showed an authentic lust for life. (It helped that most of my fellow travelers were Aussies–who are just born cool.)

The Captain was equally fun and down to earth. He had no problem diverting the ship so that we could get a closer look at passing icebergs, and when the weather turned out to be nicer than normal, he sped ahead to grant us an extra day with the penguins.

Cliche as it may sound, every day was an adventure. After breakfast we suited up in our all-weather gear, then head out in rubber zodiacs to the shore of whichever island we were exploring. Surely, the real luxury was found in the abundance and proximity of wildlife we experienced. In the course of 12 days, I saw over 80 bird species, at least half of which were endemic to the islands we were visiting. We hiked through rare albatross nesting grounds, watched yellow-eyed penguins tiptoe through fields of flowers and competed for beach space with bellowing bull elephant seals. Each day ended with an in-depth review of the day’s experience in pictures followed by a briefing that detailed tomorrow’s plan. Lectures were offered for anyone wanting to learn the intricacies of everything we experienced, from the plants and geology to pressing conservation issues for each of the islands we were visiting. In short, imagine a two week-long field trip for grown-ups but with 9-course tasters’ menus instead of a brown bag lunch instead and chilled champagne instead of juice boxes.

Also, my room was really nice. In fact, it wasn’t so much a room as it was the largest suite on the ship, a huge suite that was larger than most Manhattan lofts, which made me the spoiled one on the ship. However, I loved having a big desk to work on (with satellite internet) and a starboard balcony from which I could watch a considerate flow of dramatic scenery (a seagull even flew into my room, once). I also appreciated my own private deep dish bathtub with a square picture window which allowed for one to enjoy a bubble bath at sea. Surely the first sailors to happen upon these far flung islands did not luxuriate so. I slept a blissful eight hours every night, rocked gently by the waves of the Tasman Sea.

The common caveat phrase that cruise-goers love to use is, “you only have to unpack one.” That was definitely my experience–I unpacked my bags in Hobart and within the first day, felt as if my private domain reached to the farthest horizon. The word “exclusive” fails to capture the notion that I developed of traveling on the only ship on the only sea in the world. We went more than a week without seeing another ship and even longer without seeing any other humans.

Nature is a luxury in today’s world. Being surrounded by it–having seals poke their noses up from the water and then do water ballet under your shadow, getting a glimpse of a little brown bird that was once thought to be extinct, witnessing the icebergs you only heard about in the news, visiting a map speck that most of the world will never see–all of this is the kind of luxury that matters on an expedition ship.

So yeah, it was really, really great, obviously, and totally my style of travel: adventurous, comfortable and extremely nice–but relaxed nice, not prissy nice. On the MV Orion, I was glad to see that the destination mattered more than the amenities, and yet we were all so well-provided for as to never need worry about amenities. In fact, my main critique is that the food was just too good. With a menu designed by Australia’s celebrity chef Serge Dansereau, the Orion broke cruise ship conventions by offering small portions of gourmet standard in as many or as few courses as you wished, served by professional waitstaff. Lunch was served buffet-style but in a tasteful way that never got dull. In the first week, we ate Spanish, Filipino, Mexican, French, and Lebanese cuisine.

Sailing to the ends of the earth while staying dry, well-fed and comfortable is not a cheap endeavor: we’re talking just under a thousand dollars a day. BUT (there’s always a but)–this trip was actually worth it. That’s my new measure of good commercial travel products–do you get out of it what you put into it? For me, at the end of the day, as I laid down to sleep with a mind filled with dancing baby penguins and dramatic seascapes and memories of the afternoon’s lemon meringue teatime, I had to confess that it was all worth the price tag. In fact, as our credit card company likes to remind us: some things, like getting kissed by a baby seal, are priceless.