Global sex report: Indians are sexually frustrated

by Abha Malpani on

According to a Durex global survey, Indians are not sexually satisfied — only 46% of them manage to orgasm. Not quite what you’d expect from the land of Kamasutra and erotic sculptures.

India today is strongly influenced by Western culture, however it is not yet free from its traditional shell, something that gives rise to much hypocrisy. For example: India wanting to ban cheer leaders in a cricket tournament because they are vulgar, but then Bollywood film songs are provocative enough to be classified as erotica.

Sex is still a taboo subject in the country (it’s almost synonymous to porn), there is no sex education in schools (culturally immoral?), and anything to do with the word is suppressed. Not being able to enjoy sex stems from inhibitions and ingrained conservative cultural beliefs, all that rise from tradition and severe lack of openness in society.

Or could all this be rubbish and it really has to do with the fact that the “thingis” of Indian men are too small?

Oh well, at least India has scored higher than the Japanese and Chinese who with only 27% and 24% (respectively) managing to reach orgasm, have been pronounced the countries that have the worst sex. Italians, Spaniards and Mexicans have the best sex lives with 66% of them reaching orgasm.

Cheerleaders cause uproar in India

by Abha Malpani on

The minute I read that cheerleaders are being imported to shake their booties at India’s IPL tournament, I knew it would cause trouble: blonde and brunette “goris” (white girls) who are not shy of showing lots of skin is what the average Indian man only gets to see in films. Such girls live, only meters away from them, is enough to leave them drooling and dreaming of you know what. I am surprised that this wasn’t foreseen by Indian organizers before they spent the money to get them there.

Spectators are passing lewd and insulting comments and politicians are disgusted as they find the bopping boobs and and gyrating bums on the cricket field too vulgar for Indian tolerance standards. Having said that, Bollywood films these days are no less provocative so this uproar is a prime example of India’s double standards.

I had to laugh when I read in the BBC this quote by an Indian politician: “This thing is meant for foreigners and not for us. Mothers and daughters watch these matches on television. It does not look nice.” It reminded me of the most famous line Indian men say to other men when they are being lecherous: “Don’t you have mothers and sisters!?” It works wonders in making Indian men being sleazy to stop.

Anyway, security measures are at maximum for these poor girls who thought that coming to India and dancing in a national event would be all fun and games, meanwhile talks are being held to define the “line of decency” or to ban their appearance.

On second thoughts, I bet this uproar was foreseen: sexy international girls jiggying and thousands of Indians strongly reacting to it is enough to get another round of publicity in the international press — which is exactly what has happened.

India’s Heritage on Wheels

by Abha Malpani on

You’ve probably heard of India’s famous Palace on Wheels train ride which takes you through main points of northwest India in a week. It’s been around for a while, has a minimum set course of 7-days, and is luxuriously out of reach for the average upper-middle class Indian which makes it more popular with tourists rather than locals.

A similar yet more down-to-earth 3-day journey available on India’s Heritage on Wheels is increasingly becoming popular amongst Indian families not wanting to spend so much for Palace on Wheels, yet want a cultural and comfortable train trip with family. It covers 3-cities in Rajasthan: Jaipur, Shekhawati and then Bikaner where you can visit the most famous sanctuaries, palaces, and forts of the state.

At US$150-300 per night, it is not cheap, but it costs less than half the day price of Palace on Wheels. The train is targeted to (rich) Indian families rather than international tourists, so perhaps it will give you a slightly more authentic experience of that part of India.

India’s rich pay to live like peasants

by Abha Malpani on

I would never have imagined that the glitz of India would want to leave their mansions and Mercedes to ride in bullock carts, milk cows, feed chickens, bathe in ponds, play traditional village games and fly kites.

Apparently there’s a potential market of 25 million middle class Indians who may be willing to do so. This desire is being catered to by a “native village” built in Hessargatta, just outside Bangalore in southern India, where you pay US$150 a night for the experience to live traditionally like peasants in rural India. Indians who take such trips want to reconnect with their culture and live a life they don’t know of but have heard of from their parents and grandparents.

In most real Indian villages, people live in harsh environments with less than a dollar a day; the irony is that the wealthy are paying a comparatively exorbitant price to get a taste of the “cultural” part of that life.

I’m undecided whether I should be happy that rich Indians — who know not much more than AC cars and shopping malls — want to get grounded and cultured by experiencing the simple life of 750 million poor Indians; or upset because instead of them spending a modest holiday in some real, poor village that will genuinely benefit from their money, they choose to pay a ridiculous price to live in an artificially recreated rural village.

Mini-Lyon to be built in Dubai. Sigh.

by Abha Malpani on

The fact that I left Dubai and continually seem to be ranting about the city here might make you think I hate it. Truth is, I don’t. I’ve just had enough of it, and would never want to live there again. The city does have its own charm, something I will write about when I’m inspired to. However, the idea of building a mini-Lyon in Dubai isn’t part of it.

You would think that a city that is hardly 40-years old and has no money issues, would put in some effort to nurture and display to the world a culture it can call its own. But it always takes pride in doing the exact opposite.

Dubai is a strange, though fascinating, concoction of everything it isn’t but wants to be. This is why people like me who have spent a significant amount of time there often perceive its new ventures to keep the city in the world’s limelight as superficial ludicrousness.

The project to build a mini-Lyon in Dubai that will copy the city and even reconstruct the cafes, cinemas and schools, will be a €500 million project due to finish in 2012.
Why do you want a mini-Lyon in Dubai? It’s going to be “a small city with the accent on the best of French culture, and particularly Lyon culture.” Lyon is the 3rd largest metropolitan in France with a history that goes back to the 1st Century BC. This is impossible to imitate to any level of significance in 4 years.

Why doesn’t Dubai understand that copying cities and building “only-possible-in-Dubai” structures and islands, creates nothing but a confusion over the very word ‘culture’. I suppose in Dubai they would call it “redefining culture”.

When Dubai plans things like this, I think it just reinforces the cultural crisis it is in, but will never admit. It probably won’t affect its tourism industry, so I guess it doesn’t matter. Sigh.