SkyMall Monday: Electric Travel Blanket

Here at SkyMall Monday, we realize that SkyMall’s popularity is based on our desire to let technology solve all of our problems. Hungry? Cook a hot dog. Hit your child? Stop the bleeding. But what about when you’re in the car with your spouse and the air conditioning has made you uncomfortably cold? Sure, you could politely ask him to adjust the settings to warm you up but that would require you to select the proper words and tone of voice to convey your feelings in a healthy and respectful way. Why not keep your mouth shut and solve the problem by yourself? Because doesn’t it make much more sense to use the Electric Travel Blanket?

Let’s be honest. Talking is overrated. Your spouse works hard all day. He pays the bills, buys you nice things and drives you places in his temperature controlled vehicle. The last thing he needs is you yapping in his ear about how cold it is in the car. Frankly, if he wants to turn the car into a portable meat locker, that’s his prerogative. Why would he want to adjust the air conditioning settings just to make you comfortable? Geez, you’re so selfish. So solve your own problems by plugging a blanket into the car’s cigarette lighter and warm yourself.

Think I’m being over-dramatic? The good folks who write the SkyMall product descriptions agree with me and they’re geniuses. I mean, they write for SkyMall! Take a look:

For as long as cars have been air-conditioned, drivers and passengers have bickered about the “right” temperature. With this super-soft electric car blanket, the “colder” person can be comfortable, even when the A/C is on full-blast.

Yes, it truly is a story as old as time. And by putting the word “colder” in quotation marks, we understand that what they really meant to say was “whiny.” So quit your bitching about the air conditioning because your man likes his cars cold, not his women. Just save your relationship with the Electric Travel Blanket.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.