60 British soldiers, some bent on boozing, booted from plane

by Jamie Rhein on

Of the sixty British soldiers from the 2nd Battalion Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment who got on a plane ready for a holiday, not all of them had their own booze with them. Not all of them were already sloshed when they headed up the aisle to take a seat and determined to drink more– even if it meant drinking the alcohol that they had bought on board with them.

The flight attendant, you see, didn’t think giving these lads another drop was a good idea, so she feigned ignorance when asked if the cart had any libations. When those who forgot their manners said they would drink their own then, and she begged to differ, it didn’t help when one of them smarted off with, “‘You’re not going to stop us from drinking our own booze; we’re trained to kill.'”

Good one guy.

I can just see her thinking, “Oh, now you’ve gone and done it.”

The result of the nonsense was that all sixty soldiers were removed from the plane, a feat that involved getting the other passengers off the plane as well, unloading all the luggage, having the passengers pick out theirs, and then reloading the non-soldier passengers and their luggage back on the plane.

Kind of makes me tired thinking about it. I’m sure the passengers were relieved they wouldn’t have to live through a flight like those who had the misfortune to be on the flight in January with 40 drunk Irish guys.

The military is not too happy with the men who caused the problems and claim that they are sorting the bad apples from the ones that just happened to be in the barrel with them, thus having their leave spoiled by idiots. Charges haven’t been filed yet. Maybe there are a few fellows cleaning bathrooms with toothbrushes. I’ve seen that in the movies.

Click the pictures to read more tales of booze gone bad in the skies …

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

by Tom Johansmeyer on

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.

Galley Gossip: Hottest trend on the airplane since the mile high club

by Heather Poole on

Checking your watch for the umpteenth time, you sigh, because you’re on the airplane waiting in line to use the bathroom and you’ve been waiting in line for a very long time. What’s strange is you’re next to go and have been for some time now. What the heck is going on in there?

You probably don’t want to know. What you do know is the passenger who went in there ten minutes ago can’t be doing that, at least not with another person, because they went in there alone. Then again some people join the mile high club while others prefer the solo aviators division.

“Excuse me, Miss,” you say, and when you say this you’re looking at me, and because I see you standing in front of a lavatory door that is occupied, I already know what you’re going to say before you even say it and I’m really, really, wishing you didn’t have to involve me.

“Whoever’s in there has been in there a very long time,” you tell me.

I nod, trying my best to look concerned, and while I’m nodding I’m praying the person who has been in the lavatory for a very long time will finally walk out. Please walk out! When they don’t walk out, I say, “Sometimes it takes some people a little longer than others.” Because it does. I mean it took me two years to even use the thing. For real.

“Can you at least knock on the door to make sure they’re alright?”

I take a deep breath, wondering why you can’t knock on the door yourself, because we both know you don’t really care whether or not they’re alright in there and I’m not the one who needs to use the loo, but I go ahead and do it anyway – knock knock, knocking my knuckles against the hard, cold door, and that’s when I hear a powerful flush.

I smile and state the obvious, “They should be out in a second.”

Suddenly the door swings opens and the passenger walks out. As the passenger passes you by, you think to yourself, surely they weren’t doing that, because they just don’t look like the type to do that – at least not on an airplane. So you play it safe, holding your breath as you walk inside, locking the door behind you. Hoping for the best, you finally exhale, and strangely there is no odor. You can’t believe it. Grabbing a paper towel, you wonder just what that passenger was doing in the bathroom for all that time.

Well I think I know. I’ve even got the photos to prove it. While working on my last Galley Gossip post about trusting fear (on and off the airplane), I needed to find a photograph of the lavatory to go along with it, so I logged onto Flickr.com and typed the words LAVATORY AIRPLANE and BATHROOM AIRPLANE into the search bar. I could not believe what popped up. In fact, I’ve already told everyone I know all about what I found. I had to tell someone!

So let me be the first to tell you that something very strange and disturbing, yet quite intriguing, is going on behind that locked lavatory door. Passengers, and I’m talking all kinds of passengers, are photographing themselves in the bathroom. What I want to know is how long has this been going on? And why didn’t anyone ever tell me? You’d think I would have seen all those cameras going into the bathroom! Oh you better believe I’ll be taking my own self portrait in the lav on my next flight to New York on Wednesday. Until then, check out these interesting shots..

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Photo courtesy of Dpstyles

Ryanair flight attendant moonlights in porn

by Tom Johansmeyer on

When the crew yells, “Brace!” one Ryanair flight attendant probably looks for the cameras. London tabloid The Sun (NSFW) alleges that flight attendant Edita Schindlerova (hopefully under a shorter name) moonlights in porn – on video and the web. The sexy 22-year-old also makes an appearance in the airline’s 2009 calendar.

The sultry stewardess wore a bikini and a smear of grease in the calendar, but this would be considered fully clothed at her second job. At night, she operates under the name “Edite Bente” and helps people part with their cash. Thanks to The Sun‘s investigative reporting, a tough job for some reporter, involves baring a pair of 34Bs.

The people she works for have apparently taken a more enlightened attitude than one would expect, saying, “What people do before or after they work for Ryanair, or when they’re not working for us, is entirely their own business.”

He adds a few remarks about putting the comfort and safety of passengers first (without editorializing) and makes a comment about employees being able what to do what they want on their own time, as long as their not breaking any laws. He could have stopped there and remained on the high road, but he had to keep talking: “All this proves is that the best-looking girls fly Ryanair.”

Not everybody at Ryanair, however, is on board with Edita’s calling hobby. Her secret was discovered by a fellow Ryanair employee. Schindlerova claims, “I had this shit a year ago with a pilot with nothing better to do than check the internet.”

A friend from work remarked, “We had no idea what she was up to in her spare time.” This person astutely observed, “There can’t be many airlines who have porn stars serving drinks on flights.”

I guess this is the trade-off for having to pay to use the lavatory on a flight …

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Galley Gossip: The Gift of Fear (on and off the airplane)

by Heather Poole on

Out of nowhere you feel it – fear. You’re not sure why you feel it, and because it doesn’t make sense, at least not yet, you choose to ignore it. Perhaps you just don’t want to be rude or look stupid in an effort to avoid whatever it is you can’t quite grasp that is scaring you. Well I’m here to tell you there could be a very good reason you’re afraid, and it doesn’t always have to make sense and it’s okay to look stupid or act rude, even if you are a woman. Better safe than sorry, I say.

Two years after I first started flying in 1995, the airline I work for sent out a newsletter with a little blurb about an interesting sounding book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. I bought the book and several years later it’s still one of my favorites. De Becker discusses what it means to be fearful and how that fear is truly a gift. If you trust it. Some people call it a sixth sense. Whatever it is; a shiver down your spine, hair standing up on the back of your neck, a lump at the bottom of your stomach, something has alerted your senses. You shouldn’t ignore it. That fear could very well save your life.

One of the first stories Gavin shares is about a pilot who enters a convenience store and then immediately walks right back out because his sixth sense told him to leave. The pilot had no idea the store was being robbed, but when De Becker asked the pilot why exactly he left, the pilot said he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. De Gavin pressed the pilot for more details, and soon the pilot realized what really triggered his reaction; a man wearing a winter coat in the middle of summer, customers all turning to stare at him when he walked through the door. All these clues came at the pilot so quickly, he couldn’t make sense of why he felt the way he felt, but he trusted his gut and got out there quickly.

So why did the cop who walked into the very same convenience store seconds later not feel the same way the pilot did? Because when the customers in the store spotted the cop, relief swept over them, replacing fear, which may have been why the cop did not pick up on what was going on quickly enough to prevent him from getting shot.

Remember Richard Reid, the shoe bomber? At flight attendant recurrent training we learned there was something about the man that made each flight attendant on his flight take note of him right away. For some reason those flight attendants got an uneasy feeling the minute he walked onto the airplane. But no one said a word to each other. At least not until the ordeal was over. If you feel a little uneasy about a certain situation, tell someone. If someone tells you they feel a little weird about a certain situation, listen. I know I do.

Fear on the airplane: A few years ago a passenger on one of my flights from New York to Los Angeles caught my eye. Constantly he kept getting up to use the bathroom, and once behind the locked lavatory door he stayed there for an unusually long amount of time. When I tried to address him as he passed me by to get to his seat, he ignored me – several times.

“There’s a passenger making me a little nervous,” I told a fellow coworker. We were just about to begin the first beverage service.

“The one wearing a black polo shirt and dark sunglasses sitting in a middle seat near the front of the cabin who keeps getting up to use the lavatory?” my coworker asked, nonchalantly rearranging the napkins, stir sticks, and sugar.

Two hundred passengers aboard our flight that day and my coworker knew exactly who I’d been talking about. Coincidence? Maybe. Then again, maybe not. Because right after the passenger wearing the polo shirt returned to his seat, another passenger came running, literally running, down the aisle to the back of the aircraft.

“I’m sitting next to this guy and I can’t explain it, but he’s scaring me!” a young woman cried, literally, she was crying.

I handed her a Kleenex, assuring her I knew exactly who she spoke of and that we, the crew, were not only watching him, but we had already informed the cockpit who had contacted the ground. As soon as the words were out of my mouth another passenger walked into the galley.

Flashing a crew ID, the off duty flight attendant pulled me aside so no one else could hear and whispered, “I just want to let you know that there’s this guy…”

This guy, the one wearing a polo shirt who sat a few rows away from her, had made her nervous. Funny enough, he never did do anything wrong. Yet we continued to keep an eye on him. When we landed in L.A. the aircraft was met by several serious looking men and women dressed in dark suits. An FBI agent pulled me aside and asked a few questions. I told him everything, even though there wasn’t much to tell. Eventually the passenger in question was let go. But how strange is it that the one and only passenger we all feared had been issued a passport two days prior, had purchased a one way ticket with cash, and had a connecting flight to Florida where he said he was going to school?

Coincidence? You decide.

On a layover: Once at a layover hotel in a city I no longer remember, I signed in and collected my room key from the front desk in the hotel lobby. Because all the other flight attendants had gone up to their rooms to make the most of our short, nine hour, layover, I stood all alone in my uniform waiting for the elevator. Finally the doors opened wide and I stepped inside. A well dressed man holding a garment bag stood leaning against the mirrored wall. I smiled, and when I went to push the button, I noticed there were no other floors illuminated. Just mine. Immediately I felt a little weary.

When the elevator stopped at my floor, I stepped out, rolling my Travelpro bag behind me. So did the man with the garment bag. I took a left and quickly walked down the hallway. So did the man with the garment bag. My heart began to race. Because I’d read De Gavin’s book, and because I trusted my fear, I passed my room, continuing on down the short hallway to the big red sign that read Exit. The man continued to follow me. Once I reached the fire escape, I circled around and quickly passed the man, heading back to the elevator and down to the lobby to report the incident. Of course I got a new room. Sure, the man with garment bag could have been an innocent guy, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

Neither should you.

If you haven’t read The Gift of Fear, you really should. It’s an amazing book and I’ve recommended it to more passengers and flight attendants, particularly women, than any other book. What you read may one day save your life.